I wrote this story awhile back, but I changed the characters around and what not and thought to use it as one of the boys story for the BTS series. I'm sorry if it's long, I was going to put into two parts but decided not to.
Main: Mattie Park x Kim Taehyung
Ft: BTS, EXO
Summary: Have you ever danced on the edge?
***SELF HARM WARNING***
"I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS!!!!" I yelled into an empty house, "That's right I'm home alone...again." I walked over to the cabinet and realized that Hyuna left a bottle of Jack and vodka in the cupboard, "oh the joys of living with my best friend, I always get left but at least she left some alcohol." I said talking to myself,
She has been gone for a month, and isn't coming back until next month. Chanyeol calls once in awhile to check up on me, we always talked about random stuff, being my brother must be hard for him, it isn't easy having a adopted sister that's a foreigner.
I went up to my room, and started playing my playlist, and I started drinking, letting the whiskey burn my throat, I didn't feel so happy anymore, I just wanted to end, even being out of high school and into University was hard, I was still getting the messages "No one loves you" or “go back to where you came from” and of course "Your boyfriend will find someone better" little did they know, he had found someone better… I just hated it, the two years we were together meant nothing to him. I took another swig, but of the vodka this time my own brother doesn't even know that he's been cheating on me for the last three months.
I got up and reached under my desk and found the taped up razor, I haven't done it in a couple years, but my wrist ached and burned to be cut, I looked at my old friend, and looked at my wrist, "No, I can't" I whispered to myself.
I went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, I hated my reflection.
My phone went off, great another picture message from the boys, I looked at it and it was Chanyeol and Him, there were some girl snuggled up to him, I knew it was that girl, the one that he's been seeing. I threw my phone at the mirror, "Shit" I said to myself and seen the broken glass in the sink, "Great" I said again drinking from the Jack bottle I took a picture of the bottle and sent it to Chanyeol, also a text
"Hey party at my place too...if i had anyone."
As expected no reply back I just shrugged as a sat on the floor, I kept drinking that night, another text,
"Why are you even still alive? Your boyfriend is going to find someone way better than you, just do it already, no one will notice~"
I smiled, maybe I should. I grabbed my razor and dug deep, 1...2...3...4...5, I just seen red going down my arms, I sat there thinking about how easy this was, but will I regret it. I notice my phone ringing it was Namjoon I answered it
"Heyyyy It's Joonie~" I slurred while giggling,
“Are you that drunk! How much did you drink?" I looked at the bottle
"Uh, almost half way thru the Vodka, but drink all the Jack" I said slurring the words and I giggled again.
"You better get some sleep, Why are you drinking?" He asked.
“Because no one cares" I said
“I care about you, I'm sure Tae does too.” I scoffed and faked a laugh.
“Why the laugh?” He asked
“Namjoon, he's been cheating on me for the past three months, I doubt he cares about me.” I said,
“What the fuck!? You're just now telling me?” He said.
“Tae doesn't know that I found out.” I said, I looked down and notice the blood not stopping, I'm starting feeling like i'm going to pass out, "Joonie, you're my best friend, I love you." I said to him and hung up.
I hurried and dialed my other best friend.
“Chim, I need help" I said into the phone
"Are you drunk?" He asked
"Yes, and I did something stuuuupid" I said slurring,
"Shit! stay on the phone with me okay I'm on my way.” He said into the phone.
“Okay, hurry.." I said.
I felt like I couldn't breathe, it felt like I was waiting forever when I heard Jimin's voice "Mattie!" I heard him rush up and found me in the bathroom "Damn it Mat." He said taking a towel to stop the bleeding, “I'm taking you to the hospital.” He said sternly, with that I nodded and passed out.
I woke up with a huge headache, and a pain on my arm, I looked to see Jimin sitting in a chair across the room.
“Hey” I said sitting up.
“Hey, your awake.” He said I nodded
“I'm sorry Jimin.” I said he shook his head.
“No, don't be, I found out about Tae, I was so pissed I walked out of the party, when you called.” He said.
“So now you know he's been cheating on me.” I replied. I sighed and heard my phone go off.
“Chanyeol has been calling, better call him back.” He said I nodded and grabbed my phone from Jimin.
“Hello?” I answered
“WHERE ARE YOU?? I went to apartment to bring you some food and I found blood all over the floor!” He yelled “I thought you were over this?” He said sounded as if he was crying.
“I'm in the hospital, Jimin brought me here.” I said looking at my best friend.
“I'm on my way over, I'll let Tae know.” He said, but before I could protest he already hung up.
“Great.” I said.
“What?” Jimin said as he sat on the chair next to my bed.
“He's letting Taehyung know I'm here.” I said.
An hour went by and Chanyeol came walking in. His big smile went away as he seen me.
“Mattie, I swear if I ever lost you” he said coming up to hug me. Part of me felt happy, another part of felt that he would be relieved that I wasn't here.
“Oppa, you didn't tell Tae I was here did you?” I asked. He nodded
“He said he'll be here soon.” He answered.
“Oppa there's something I need to tell you.” I said “Tae has been- Jagi!?” I heard his voice as I looked at the door.
“What happened? Are you okay?” I looked at him and to Jimin I can see anger building up.
“It was just an accident, nothing too bad.” I said to him. He nodded and sat on my bed, he tried to cheer me up, all I could give him were fake smiles and laughs. Why did he need to smile like that though…
“Is the guardian of Park Mattie here?” A doctor said walking in.
“I'm her older brother.” Chanyeol said standing up.
“If you two aren't family then I'll need you guys to step out.” He said towards Jimin and Taehyung.
“I'm her boyfriend does that count?” Tae said I looked at him confused. Since when did he care?
“I'm sorry but no.” The doctor said as Tae followed Jimin out the door.
“So Mattie we'll have to keep you here for monitoring for about three days.” He said me and Chan nodded as he grabbed my hand. He explained how my drinking and self harm was just a minor accident, but still needed to be looked over.
“I'll leave you to it, a nurse will be in shortly to check your vitals.” He finished.
“What were you going to say earlier sis?” Chan asked.
“Nothing, it's not really important right now.” I said to him he nodded. “Can you tell Jimin to come back in.” I asked he nodded and walked out.
“Hey Mat I have class in an hour, but as soon as it's done I'll be back over with food.” Chan said walking over to kiss my head.
“Jimin, is Tae still here?” I asked.
“No… he had an “emergency” and had to leave.” Jimin said rolling his eyes, “Namjoon and Hoseok are gonna come over.” He said sitting next to me to watch tv.
Days dragged on, soon I was getting discharged, with Hoseok and Jimin driving me home. Tae hasn't came to see me at all since I was there “too busy” with classes.
“Just break up with him, I mean you know he's been cheating on you.” Jimin said helping you into the apartment. I nodded.
“It's not easy Jimin, I loved him, we had two years together, it's hard to throw it away, but if He was able too then I guess I should too.” I said sitting on my couch.
I got a text from Tae saying he was coming over and that he wanted to talk. I figured that was the time to break up with him. Jimin left before he got here so it gave me time to think what I needed to say.
“Mattie?” I heard him say into the apartment, I sighed.
“In here Tae.” I yelled as I tried to rest easy at the table.
“Hey, how are you feeling jagi?” He asked sitting next to me. I nodded.
“Better if my boyfriend was here.” I said seeing if I can make him feel guilty.
“I know I'm sorry, I've been busy with classes.” I nodded.
“Look Tae-” “Mattie, I can't do this anymore.” He said interrupting me. I looked at him.
“Wait… what?” I said looking at him.
“It's too much stress, and exams and classes are kicking my ass, I need to focus on school.” He said looking at me, I felt anger consume my body
“Mhm… well at least this isn't as serious like you cheating on me.” I said looking at him, his eyes gave it away. “Oh, but wait…” I said standing up, I went into my room and came back out with my phone.
“What is this?” He asked looking at the picture.
“Three months Taehyung, you were fucking around on me for three months.” I said as he looked through the pictures.
“Mattie, I don't-” “No, I get it, it's cause I'm a foreigner right? Or is it cause I'm Chanyeols sister? Or is it cause you never really loved me is it?” He looked up at me. “I should've known, I gave you everything Tae, I gave you my all, but you just shot me in the heart.” I said. I grabbed my phone back from him as he just sat there.
“Well?” I asked.
“I'm sorry Mattie.” He said he looked up at me. “I'm so, so sorry.” He stood up.
“Just leave Tae.” I said he came to me and tried holding my hands.
“Please… just.. please don't do this.” He said I scoffed and pulled my arms away.
“You're the reason why I was in the hospital, you didn't care about me, just leave.” I said I left to my room as I heard the door shut and I broke down.
I didn't go to school for two weeks, Jimin and Chanyeol stopped coming over, little did they know I needed them. Chanyeol especially.
My depression got worse, some days are worse than others, some days I didn't even go out, Hyuna finally came home and heard about what happened, she forced me to go get coffee with her. I looked at myself in the mirror, i did look bad.
“Hurry up!” Hyuna giggled, I smiled at her and came out of my room. She smiled at me “You look great.” I she said as we left out of apartment.
“Don’t lie chingu.” I told her laughing. We got into her car and began driving to our destination.
“Here’s your coffee oppa.” I looked up at the girl that I’ve been cheating on Mattie with, I mean i loved her, but I couldn’t anymore. “What are you thinking about?” She asked i looked at her.
“Nothing, thank you Hera.” I said, after a minute passed we heard a screech and huge crash, we looked out the window, i seen a black car got t-boned on the side by a truck, the car itself looked familiar. I ran out “Did anyone call?” i asked,
“That man called.” I passer by said I nodded and walked back to her.
We stood in awe as the ambulance came, they blocked off the street the guy that drove the truck was intoxicated, and he hit the other car.
“Two females, one Korean and one American, both in critical condition, on route to Seoul Hospital.” I looked at the officer, did he say American?
“Sir? Is there way you can tell us who’s car that is?” I asked, he shook his head.
“I’m sorry but i can’t give out that information.” i nodded and decided to leave.
“Let’s go, I’ll take you home.” I said to her she smiled and nodded.
After I got him, I noticed that Jimin and Namjoon were gone.
“Where is everyone?” I asked Hoseok.
“Oh, I don’t know, Jimin got a call and him and namjoon left.” I nodded and went to my room, i looked at my phone and noticed all the missed calls and texts, from Jimin, Chanyeol and a last one from Mattie. I decided to call Chanyeol back.
“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for the past three hours!” he yelled.
“I’m sorry hyung, i left my phone home, why what’s going on?” I asked
“It’s… it’s Mattie.” He said
“What about her?” I asked
“I know you guys broke up, but you were her first love, ugh I wish you answered sooner to get her faster.” He said.
“What do you mean?” I asked “Get where faster?” I felt a twisting feeling in my stomach.
“Mattie and Hyuna were in a car crash…. She didn’t make it.” He said. I dropped my phone, and Hoseok came running in.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked as I fell onto my bed. I felt frustrated and mad at myself.
“I knew, I fucking new that car looked familiar!!” i yelled, I felt angry and upset.
“Whoa, dude what’s going on?” He asked.
“She’s gone hyung! She’s gone, and I treated her like that, I cheated on her, I hurt her, I loved her so much and I broke the one thing I promised her.” I said.
“Who’s gone?” he asked,
“Mattie!” I said he face dropped, Him and Mattie, like Jimin, were really good friends.
I stood next to Chanyeol and his family, Hera was upset with me about coming here, I told her that Matt was my first love, and I needed to be here, so she broke up with me, i didn’t care. After everyone left, Chanyeol and Jimin told me that they’ll wait for me. I nodded and kneeled in front of her headstone, i placed a picture with a white lily, her favorite.
“I still, haven’t read your text Mat… I can’t, especially after... “ I felt tears run down.
“Maybe you should.” I looked to see Hyuna. “You need to read it Tae.” She said and turned around and left.
I pulled put my phone, and scrolled down.
Tae, I know this would be the last message I’d probably send you, but I wanted to let you know, I still love you, and I understand the whole reason why you did what you did, but knowing me I forgave you, why? I don’t even know. I’m leaving to America, I’ll be gone for a couple years.
Kim Taehyung, I found the ring… I would've said yes. I love you. Take care of yourself.
I closed my eyes, and pulled out the velvet box.
And sat it next to our picture.
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