Who: Reader x Kim Seokjin x Kim Taehyung
What: Fluff and Smut
Story: A nerdy girl with no real social skills is getting pursed by two of high school's most popular and handsome boys and some girls are not happy about it.
There's a moment in time where you'll find yourself living in regret. One choice, one wrong word said that ended everything that you were or that ever was. The present you will look back on that moment and wonder: what if?
What if I hadn't said that? What if I said more? What if I took that job or kissed that girl or told that guy in homeroom I thought he was really cool? At some point your brain will rack up so many what if's you find yourself living in regret. Your heart hurts and you seem sad because you convince yourself that had you made the "right" choice your life would've been different. You would've been loved, you wouldn't have a broken heart, you wouldn't be killing yourself over the possiblities of what could've happened had you just taken the other road.
That's just a lie though. It's a beautiful lie that in its own ironic twist is deeply ugly and close to deadly. It's the lie we drown our sorrows in because we make ourselves believe that another path could've been better than the road we chose. The truth is we walk certain roads for a reason. If we always walk the simple road then it makes us weak and easy to take advantage of. We won't know how to fight, or endure pain all we will know is easy so when the rough comes...We're just not strong enough to fight it.
Then, on the other hand, we may have chosen the lesser of two evils by choosing the road we got stuck in. We would see it as hell now but then we may learn later down the road, after all those what ifs have come to pass, we'd find out that the other path was twice as harder than the one we orginally chose. In that moment, we find the choice we made as a blessing. After what Baekhyun did to me, I wondered what if I had said no or what if I had walked out of the party before Chanlee got me. Would I be apart of Bangtan?
Would I be at the school I wanted to be at working on scientific discoveries? Would I have found my first boyfriend there? Another science nerd? Or maybe I'd just finish out school and become a scientist, maybe work to get my doctorate and become a famous scientist but too busy to fall in love. Meanwhile, I'd look back every once in a blue moon to see the boys from Bangtan as famous idols doing global tours and making a bunch of girls fall in love with them. I may remember when I crushed so hard on Jin I thought of him as an angel sent to the earth just so that we could know what true beauty was.
Would that future have been better for me? It would've been lonely but Taehyung and Jin would be friends and I wouldn't be the reason that Jin was mad at Taehyung or Taehyung was mad at Jin. For the next three weeks that passed, no matter how much fun I had being alone with Taehyung I felt bad. I was filled with what ifs. What if Jin didn't kiss me or tell me he loved me? What if I hadn't told Jin I loved him? What if Taehyung never kissed me?
What if we weren't together?
So many question I had no way of answering. I liked being able to get answers. Fill out equation after equation, ask questions and create an hypothesis just to prove myself wrong or right. There was no way to experiment in this relationship without breaking us. There was still some concern. How well were Tae and Jin getting along? Were they talking to each other? Were they trying to patch things up? Jungkook texted me just as regularly as Taehyung did. Jimin texted me a few times to see how everything was going with me and ask me when he would see me again. He sometimes said he missed me and that he needed a hug of mine.
I could always count on Jimin to make me feel special.
The others texted every once in a while, I think they were just trying to do as I asked and give me some space which really helped. Yoongi talked to me when he wanted me to explain somethings to him about the work in class but other than that he didn't want to bother me. Aside from seeing Jin in classes or in the hallway at school, I hadn't talked to him or seen him in a long time. Hoseok invited me to come dance with him again and the next day I was completely sore. They were doing their best to keep me apart of Bangtan but I think it was better this way.
It's only been a few weeks though. I can't expect my what if's to disappear so quickly. I just wished they would though. Taehyung was starting to notice a change in me. I was studying furiously and even though I had made time for individual time with the guys, if I wasn't with Taehyung or one of them for a little bit I was staying after school for science club or I was working on fixing my research paper.
Actually now the hard part was done, the research paper I finally finished. I fixed all of the things that were inconclusive and made sure my evidence was solid. I sent it to the school now, I was just waiting for an answer to come back and that's the part that had me nervous. What was I going to do if I got into the school? I mean obviously I was going to go but how would Taehyung feel and how long would it take me and Jin to meet again?
I was standing at the register of the book store taking in the last customer in line when I turned around for a second to pick up a few books that had fallen behind me. They were going to have to be restocked on the shelf since the customers couldn't pay for it or didn't want them. I turned back around and looked up. I saw Jin standing in front of me. I stared at him for a moment and he gave me a soft smile.
"Can we talk?" He asked.
"I'm working- you should go." I said softly.
"Y/n please. We can go get coffee on your break you can spend fifteen minutes calling me an ass if you'd like."
I gave him a small smile.
"I would never call you an ass Jin. Even though you kind of are one for what you did to Taehyung." I said.
He smiled and said,
"Just talk to me Y/n. I won't do anything to you." He said.
I looked at him kind of weary of getting close. It wasn't like I wasn't seeing him everyday at school but this was the first time either one of us spoke to each other in three weeks. Three weeks since he kissed me so suddenly and told me he loved me. Three weeks since he got angry that me and Taehyung had sex. The thing was we had only had sex twice so far. Aside from being busy, I just didn't feel up to it. It's not that he needed to know that and it wasn't like I was volunteering information but the what ifs had started in my head.
What if I go and something happens?
What if I don't go and risk losing him forever?
There was still something lingering in me that liked Jin even though a big part of me was starting to really adore Taehyung. I wanted to stay with him. Jin had to know that but being around him was still a bit hard for me. I couldn't just go back to him automatically. I wanted Jin to kiss me again. So going with him was dangerous. But....What if?
I looked at the clock and said,
"Look, I get a break in like half an hour if you want to come back we can get coffee at the shop right across the street."
"Alright. I'll come back and meet you here." he said.
He smiled and left looking like he had hope again. I didn't want to ruin that hope but we weren't going to be together. Taehyung and me were together. My break finally came so I could get off my feet but sure enough Jin showed up to come have coffee with me so we walked over to the coffee place by my job to get some. We sat down by the big window and he started to talk.
"I want to ask you something and I want you to be honest." he said.
"I feel like we've been here before." I said making illusions to back when I asked him to be honest with me when I told him my feelings.
He gave a half hearted laugh as if, deep down, he knew I was right. He looked at me and leaned on his elbows on the table. He looked more serious than normal and his broad shoulders seemed even wider than before. It reminded me of how butterflies fanned themselves out, the pattern on their wings looked like eyes to scare away predators. I wasn't sure if he was trying to scare anyone away. It just reminded me of how beautiful he was to me... just like a butterfly.
Harmless and beautiful to look at.
There was some danger in this for me though, being back in front of him after he kissed me. God I was having flashes of it again and again of his lips. Damn it every time I saw his lips I could just imagine how they felt against mine. How they would feel on the rest of my body. Places that only Taehyung has kissed....
This was why I needed my space from him. Ever since he kissed me my head has become clouded. My crush on Jin blossomed again and knowing he liked me back was what made it harder to get under control. Even more so, his kiss had been haunting me no matter how much I tried to exercise it by kissing Taehyung. It had me questioning myself and making me feel really guilty. I didn't want Taehyung to think I didn't like him because I did. Yet, there lingered those two most powerful worlds that has destroyed a person internally for centuries....
"Are you in love with Taehyung?" He asked.
"I'm not sure yet. We haven't been dating long enough for me to determine it." I answered.
"Well he loves you."
"I know that."
"And I love you."
"I know that too." I said.
"I need to know is there some part of you that still likes me?" Jin asked.
There was a part of me that wanted to say "yeah I still like you" but I held that back. That was just asking for more trouble. He didn't need to know that, that wouldn't bring either one of us relief. It would just make matters worse. Maybe the worst part was that I was sitting in the coffee shop with him now, when I could've been anywhere but here, alone with him. The way I was feeling about him, one wrong move and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I feel like I'd be the one to break Taehyung's heart.
I just kept thinking that I would be the one that ended up hurt because everyone was telling me how Taehyung was with women... I just never knew how bad I was with men. This was my first relationship and I knew that out of respect for Taehyung there were certain things I was not to do. Perhaps having a cup of coffee alone with the man that not only declared his love for me but also kissed me knowing I was dating his best friend wasn't entierly the best choice. And yet here I was, sitting down in front of Jin, not getting up or ending the exchange but instead saying,
"That doesn't matter because I'm with Taehyung."
"It matters to me." he said.
"Jin can you please think about this for a second. What relief would that bring you if I did say I still have feelings for you?"
"Because then I could tell you that I'll be there for you." He said.
I looked at him strangely.
"Look, I will never stop being in love with you. It just won't happen and you can try to distance yourself from me but I'm still going to be in love with you. Whether we go to the same school or not. The fact of the matter is, when Taehyung screws up and, I know as his best friend it's a really shitty thing to say but he will mess up, I will be there for you." he said.
"Jin just listen to yourself. You'll be there for me but where will you be for Taehyung? Can you just think about the kind of person that would make me to leave Taehyung and be with you? Can you think about how much of a slap in the face it would be to him and how much of a betrayal it would be? And you, how can you be with a girl that would leave your best friend broken hearted just to be with you? Even if I said I loved you still, even if I left Taehyung can you think about the consequences of both our actions for just one second?"
"No Jin listen to me. I may not know if I'm in love with Taehyung yet but at the very least I know that I like him enough and respect him enough to know that this is wrong. Even if I were to break it off with him because I loved you, that would make your relationship with not only Taehyung but the rest of the guys very difficult. Boys that you've called your brothers, your kids, your friends, you and I will have succesfully destroyed that family dynamic for the sake of a relationship that we can't even be one hundred percent sure will work out. There's is a ninty percent chance that Taehyung will fuck this up between us. I'm a bit optimist though because he's done nothing wrong for me to believe that he would betray me but even if he did fuck this up- you and I- it just couldn't happen." I said.
"That's not true."
"It is. However, you always being in love with me- now that's not true. Eventually, you'll see the light, that it's never going to happen and then you'll move on. You'll forget about being in love with me and maybe even thank the heavens that we didn't end up together because you found the girl of your dreams. But I promise you that girl isn't me."
Jin looked at me sadly for a moment.
"I'm in love with you Y/n." he whispered.
Even sad he was beautiful. Jin. I wish I had known all of this before I had been kissed by Taehyung. It was probably wrong of me to think that but I liked Jin so much and I wanted so much for him to look at me as a woman. I just always thought that was too much to ask. For him to like me as much as I liked him and here it was, he always felt the same and never said a word about it until it was too late. He decided to plot to win and ironically it was the reason he lost.
"I hear you Jin but I can't return your feelings." I said.
"I know. I also want you to come back to Bangtan. I can be your friend, I can push the feelings away but really... I just want someone to play Mario Kart with me." He said
That actually made me laugh.
"Come back to us. I promise to behave okay?" He said.
"Okay, it's going to take some time but okay." I said.
He agreed to give me the time I needed and then he walked me back to work. I stayed away from the boys for a little while longer. It wasn't until the night of the dance that I had reunited with all seven members of Bangtan again....
I had Gi Jong help me get dressed. She was going too, some how Baekhyun had convinced her into taking him back and they were doing really well for each other. Baekhyun and me were still in a weird field. I didn't really know what to do with him; I know he was trying to turn himself around. Over the past few weeks I saw him trying to study for an upcoming test he had so I lent him my notes. I also saw him push Junmyeon away when he was heading towards me. I don't know what he was going to say or do but it was the first time I had ever seen Baekhyun look out for me. I knew he was trying his hardest to get me to trust him as my brother again and even try and make it as an idol.
Something came over him and went into over drive like he wasn't going to let everyone believe he was a failure, he was going to prove to everyone that he could be an idol and that mom and dad were wrong. Secretly, I was proud of him; although, a lot of the anger of that night had left me since, I was still cautious of letting him back in. I just didn't want to risk it. I remember hearing him a few days ago singing in his room and I stood outside his door listening to him thinking about the times when we were young and he would sing for me. It made me wonder if I'd ever get back to that moment.
Anyway, Gi Jong had helped me pick out a dress. It was a blue satin dress with pink flowers at the bottom that climbed up and stopped just below my waist. It was strapless and it was dark but vibrant, it was very beautiful. I had my hair curled and it was done in a princess kind of style, it had a pretty braid that pulled all my hair to one saide and over the shoulder. I didn't want much make up and really the only make up I had been doing since Taehyung and her little make over was some eyeline. This time she made me go with a full face like at the party but she kept it light and natural. I refused to wear contacts though so I wore my glasses instead.
She was wearing a black and gold dress. Her sleeves were short and her hair was in beach waves. Her heels were so bright I was blinded by them. She looked very cute and she had a rinestone hair clip that made three flowers in a row. It pulled one side of her hair back so that side stayed behind her back while the other was free to either go behind her or spill over her shoulder to frame her face. She had a black purse with a gold chain that she could've wrapped around her body but she held it on one shoulder instead. I had a smaller purse that was a clutch. It was the same color as my dress and it looked more like a coin purse than anything. I snuck my charger in it and I had my phone in there.
We came out of my room talking and I looked to see Baekhyun waiting at the end of the hallway talking to Taehyung. When I saw both of them in their tux's, I smiled and giggled a little. I whispered to Gi Jong,
"Is it me or do they look like the same person?"
Gi Jong laughed too,
"Right, I thought it was just me. Let's make sure we take the right date with us." she said.
We chuckled as we walked down to them and I went to wrap my arms around Taehyung. Gi Jong kissed Baekhyun and said,
"Yup this is him." she laughed.
I chuckled and shook my head at her but the boys were completely confused. I just shook my head at Taehyung and he led me out the door. Baekhyun was driving us while the others went in Jin's car. We would all meet at the dance. I was holding Taehyung's hand and I could kind of feel the weird anticipation I felt when Baekhyun drove me to Chanyeol's little house party. There was a slight fear in me, a part of me didn't want to go; the other part of me was wondering if something bad was going to happen. The meteor girls were going to be there and I didn't really want to see them. I was annoyed any time Heejin came around to talk to Taehyung but I tried my best to stay silent so I wouldn't be rude. Taehyung on the other hand was completely honest with her anytime she was pissing him off.
I could feel my hands getting clamy and I didn't know why I was this nervous. I think maybe because it was a dance and the only time I've ever danced was when Hobi invited me to go with him to dance practice. I think Jimin and Jungkook showed up once for that and they helped me learn there routine with a lot of frustration but they were the only ones to see me dance. This might've also been a big deal for Taehyung and me as well. For a few days, I had been stressing about not hearing back from the school on whether or not my research paper impressed them enough that they'd want to take me in as a student. This was the first time I had been even close to relaxed and it was probably because of that, that I was worried. The school had already seen me and Taehyung together, they already knew we were offical but somehow this was like our biggest display of being together.
I knew a lot of eyes would be on Bangtan when we got in there but the eyes on me and Taehyung..... If I fucked anything up, everyone would see. I will have embarrassed Taehyung, myself and Bangtan. There I go again, worrying about what other's think. I distanced myself from Bangtan and asked to stop being one of them so that I wouldn't fall down that rabbit hole. I don't know if I'll ever be able to avoid it. I hoped I could.
I turned to Taehyung in the back seat and he looked at me and smiled. His thumb had been rubbing the back of my hand since we started holding hands in the car. He kissed the back of my fingers and said,
"You look really beautiful tonight."
"Thank you. It's all Gi Jong's work." I smiled.
"I've always told you, you were beautiful before. Make up has never mattered, you just need to dress like you care."
"I feel like I've become a different person because of you Tae."
"Is that a good thing?"
"Yeah. I think it is."
He gave me his famous box smile and my heart warmed to see it. He lifted my chin as I leaned closer to him and he kissed me soft but didn't let the kiss linger too long to avoid Baekhyun saying anything. We both caught him looking in the rear view mirror and Gi Jong shut him up before he could complain. I just shook my head. I couldn't really get into a fight with him anyway since he was going to be my ride back home.
We finally made it too the school and the gym was packed. The Dj is playing some really great up beat songs and there's like an opening on the dance floor where everyone is watching Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook dance. Taehyung leads me over to them and we see Namjoon, Yoongi and Jin standing on one side watching and cheering them on. Yoongi sees us and I wave at him. He grabs Namjoon and leads him over to us and Jin followed behind them. They greet Taehyung and then give me a hug but Jin stays on the other side and just waves at me. I smile and wave back at him. It was for the best that he kept his distance.
We cheered on the guys, watching as another group of boys took them on in a dance battle. One of them I know was Chinese, I think is name was Zhang Yixing and then the other one was Oh Sehun. I had class with him once in my eigth grade year. He sat behind me, he was very quite and focused during lectures but he liked to talk to this other kid in our class that sat next to him. I think his name was Kyungsoo. There were only a few times I saw him smile back then. It seemed like these few years had made him happier. Maybe he found a friend in Yixing.
It seemed like Bangtan and the other two were tied as far as skill went but at some point the crowd got louder for Sehun and Yixing, it may have had something to do with Sehun humping the floor and Yixing hip thrusting the air like he was ready to get someone pregnant.... I mean I thought it was impressive. Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok shook hands, high fived and even hugged Sehun and Yixing before making their way over to us. They gave me a hug and greeted Taehyung as well. Jungkook came to stand next to me.
"Noona! What did you think of the dancing?" he asked.
"You were amazing Kookie monster! I think my heart fluttered a little." I laughed.
He threw me a heart and I laughed and pretended like I caught it. Taehyung came and jumped on Jungkook's back and Jungkook carried him while Yoongi took me by the arm and pulled me from the big crowd to follow the others. He asked me to dance and I agreed. It was not so slow that it was a romantic dance but it wasn't so fast that we couldn't be close to each other. The music was calmer to talk through and Taehyung was entertaining himself with the other guys.
"So when are you coming back to Bangtan?" Yoongi asked.
"Is this because you need help with your homework?" I laughed.
"A slight detail in an otherwise long list of reasons why we want you back." he gave me a quick gummy smile and I chuckled.
"I think I need a little more time." I said.
"If you take too much time you may waste it. Jin will graduate this year and he's starting the trainee program soon. Me and Hoseok are following behind him and Namjoon too. You'll be out with us since you skipped a few grades like Namjoon. I mean we'll be working on becoming idols. We may not be able to see each other as much as we do now. Don't waste time." He said.
"I can't believe that any of you miss me." I said.
"Here's the thing, you may think that the little feud between Jin and Taehyung is your fault but it's not. Taehyung on some level knew that Jin liked you just like Jin knew on some level that Taehyung liked you. They both kind of played dirty and they're both guilty. Even though Taehyung is still sore about what Jin did, Taehyung recognizes that he's still family. Just like you are, he's forgiven him he just hasn't forgotten what's happened. As long as Jin behaves and you remain loyal to Taehyung, peace remains. Still, a female Bangtan has really balanced us out. You adjust to each of us. We like you." Yoongi said.
I really did feel honored by that. Taehyung came over and tapped Yoongi's shoulder,
"Mind if I get my date back?" he said.
"Sure I was just talking to her while you were entertaing your boyfriend." Yoongi teased.
Taehyung lightly kicked Yoongi in the butt and Yoongi laughed as he headed over to the guys. The Dj played a slower song for couples and I wrapped my arms around his neck while he placed his hands on my waist. We swayed side to side and smiled at each other.
"What were you two talking about?" He asked.
"Me coming back to Bangtan." I said.
He raised his eyebrows,
"You're coming back?" He smiled happily.
I shook my head,
"Not yet, I'm not really ready for it but Yoongi raises some good points. I will have gradutated before you dispite being the same age. It's because I skipped grades. It's starting to sound like our time is limited." I said.
"We've still got sometime though, I wouldn't worry about it too much." He smiled.
I nodded but deep down I knew Yoongi was right. If I still wanted to interact with all the boys I had to come back some time soon. Taehyung dipped his head down to capture my lips and I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. I let out a little hum that no one else could hear over the music playing. He started to pepper kisses down my jaw and to my neck before I felt my purse buzz. I pushed him up for a second.
"It's probably for the best that you keep your lips on mine and don't stray."
"What, sex in the bathroom doesn't appeal to you?" He joked.
"Not in the least."
I opened up my purse to grab my phone and saw I got an e-mail from the school. This was the answer that I was waiting for. I looked back at Taehyung and he looked at me curiously,
"What is it?" he asked.
"I got an email from that school I applied to. They sent me an answer." I said in disbelief.
"I haven't opened it yet." I said.
"Well read what it says." he encouraged me.
I nodded but I could feel my heart rate speed up. I really wanted to go to this school and it took them weeks to give me a response back. I had no idea if it was good or bad. I clicked on the email and it popped open. I swallowed as I began to read.
"So?" Taehyung asked.
I looked up at him.....
House of Exctessy Taglist @JasminMartinez @LeviLasvegas @170cme @divanicola05 @Lilura @KoreanDramaMaMa @SunnaWalo @Foxxyjinxx @DamarisCisneros @dchapple45 @TingTingShi @TiffanyDixon @miruchii @EvodiaEbraheem @Airess95 @MelissaGarza @AbbyRoscoe @kaylie1597 @KenyaMendoza @QueenPandaBunny @JessicaEvaristo @hopesforsuga711 @KeraDelatorre @sung1rl199674 @hedgesloth @Znae @jademarie4567 @MaggieHolm @RKA916 @royalpandajedi
Taglist: @jaysbae13 @princess2425 @Tiffany1922 @Anna5221 @VKookie47 @yaya12 @Starbell808 @kisashimizu16 @Mrsax2018 @dchapple45 @matty0203 @loljan17 @priscy513 @Izzy987 @Elizabeth1234 @reyestiny93 @Kimnam94 @Lopleaf19 @Tamaki1618 @momina427 @yeniyx23 @RKA916 @kpopaddict16 @luna1171 @Dreemer13 @MissT615 @AlexisJ15 @elishafisher @griseldazenger @Alyessiazavala @Parktaemi @sarahdarwish @JaxomB @Queenlee @JessicaEvaristo @emilycayetano @herosbells @JasmineGregory @Animezkpopgirl @Xionheart @isisMayaVelasco @Melissagarza @makidabebe @orihemay @Queenlele @KpopQueenabee @sierrakuper @PrettieeEmm @ScarletMermaid @senia @hskswife @AlexisRiver @StefaniTre @alittlebaozi @AdeleLynn @JeniseRamos @SindyHernandez @MomoCamie @KristinaCaron @DasiaB @peachchild @pharmgirlerin @BTSxEXO @QueenPandaBunny @MaritessSison @ParkHwaYoung @SaraHanna @Ivonsvon @yukigintokie @NooRiNoona @chenisbaekasy @JacksonWangxMe @Matokokepa @Znae @Taekookiemonster @MsLoyalHeart @justcallmekyki @miruchii @ayleenchavezu @Senia @teatimefoxy @ImHayley @SarahHibbs @christinequanch