I sat in bed, staring at the blank wall in front of me.
BigHit had remained silent for days after the fake announcement and the arrest of my father. Emails, messages, and tweets continued to pour in, demanding a press conference, official statement, some kind of closure for the beloved member who they thought had passed. My father had been sentence to a lifetime in jail. Punishment for Jungkook’s supposed murder, as well as his previous murders from many years ago.
With the Tae back, the dorm gained most of its light and happiness back, but a sense of dread hung over us as we continued to stall revealing our big secret. I glanced over at the man stuck in the center of all this, sleeping peacefully next to me. I was thankful he was finally getting some sleep after a week of insomnia-filled nights caused by nightmares and depression. Even with his eyes closed, I could see the dark circles that had formed under his eyes. I knew he was suffering. I could feel it through our bond. His career was on the line. His fans were on the line. The other members’ careers were on the line. The future of BTS was on the line.
His future was on the line.
I sighed as I turned my gaze to the blank spot on the wall I had been staring at all morning. I had been thinking up different ways to soften the hit of revealing our secret all week, one plan in particular playing in my mind over and over again. I had discussed the plan with PD-nim a couple days ago, and he agreed that it was the best way. I would have to tell the members after breakfast, and I knew Kookie wouldn’t like it. I felt movement next to me, and quickly looked over at Jungkook.
“Gooooood morning Jagi,” he drawled huskily, a sleepy smile on his face. He propped up on his elbows, and jutted his chin forward. I smiled before leaning over to place a soft kiss on his lips.
“Good morning to you too, Kookie,” I giggled.
“Something happen? I feel a sense of determination from you.” Stupid bond.
“No, nothing happened. I’ve just been waiting for you to wake up.”
“If you say so Jagi. Let’s go eat breakfast with the guys.” I nodded in agreement as he slung his shirtless form out of bed, and stretched out his stiff muscles. I never got tired of that view every morning. “Maybe I should just never put a shirt on. You seem to like me better like this,” he teased. My cheeks grew warm at being caught.
“Not on my watch. Never in a million years, am I ever letting another woman see you shirtless,” I argued, narrowing my eyes at the smirking maknae as he threw a shirt on. I watched him walk across the room to the connected bathroom, and begin brushing his teeth. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and stretched my limbs. He walked back into the room, a smirk still on his face.
“I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but, our next concept is supposed to involve,” he leaned over me, placing a hand on each side of my body, and causing the bed to sink from his weight. His face was inches from mine, and my breath hitched. “A little more skin,” he whispered. I could see the playful smirk dancing on his face. I lightly pushed him away and rolled my eyes, hoping to cover up the reaction he had caused.
“If you ever get to your next concept,” I mumbled. I instantly regretted the words when his face and shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry Kookie, I didn’t mean it like that. The stress just got to me and-“
“I'm gonna go eat.” He walked out of the bedroom without me, not even giving me a second glance. I could feel how hurt he was through our bond.
Six pairs of eyes were on me as soon as I walked into the kitchen. I saw Jungkook’s slouched form facing away from me. I looked at each of the members, each of them wanting an explanation for Jungkook’s mood. I silently shook my head, and they reluctantly carried on eating. I sat down at my spot next to Jungkook with a plate of bacon and fruit. He carried on eating, his eyes trained downwards at his bowl of rice.
”Jungkook, you should eat something more than just-“
”I’ll eat what I want,” he icily cut off. I sighed in defeat. We continued eating quietly until Namjoon broke the silence.
“Cath, PD-nim told me you had something to tell us.” All eyes were on me, and I began to fidget in my seat. I was nervous about how they would react to my plan.
“Well, you see,” I stuttered. “Me and PD-nim were discussing potential ways to reveal that Jungkook was alive, and we both agreed on a plan that we think is the best for you guys.”
“And what is that plan?” I looked over at Jungkook, thankful he was finally speaking to me again, but there was no joy or love to be seen in his expression.
“We’re going to hold a press conference,” I continued after a moment of hesitation.
“There’s obviously more to it than a press conference for you to be acting like you are,” he pressed.
“Jungkook, let her speak.” He huffed at Namjoon’s orders, but remained silent.
“More specifically, I’m holding a press conference.” Jungkook slammed his glass of water on the table, causing me to jump.
“What do you mean-"
“Jungkook!” Jin cut him off. His knuckles turned white as his grip on the cup tightened.
“The whole idea is to get you guys out of this mess with the least amount of repercussion as possible. It’s the only way you guys will survive this. All the blame will be put on me, and everyone will forgive you guys.”
“I oppose. I 100% oppose this plan,” Jungkook growled.
“Kookie, we have no better way,” I pleaded.
“Then what happens to you? How do you expect me to just sit and watch as you get slandered and ripped apart by the media and our fans?!”
“Jungkook, this isn’t just about you and me anymore. Peoples’ futures are on the line here. What do you think is going to happen if BTS gets slandered and ripped apart by the media and your fans? You won’t be the only one suffering if that happens.”
“She’s right Jungkook. We won’t get out of this alive if we take any of the blame.” Yoongi’s words silenced him, but I could feel the anger inside of him. I gently placed my hand on his arm in an attempt to soothe his rage.
“Even if the fans hate me, I’ll still have you guys,” I spoke gently.
"I will still have you.” He had calmed down, and finally made eye contact with me. I threw him a small smile before he glanced at the other members and sighed.
“When is the press conference?” Tension in the room fell at the maknae’s agreement to the plan.
“As soon as possible. I was just waiting until I could tell you guys and get your agreement.”
“I have one condition.” My heart sank as everyone looked at Jungkook. “Hold it off until tomorrow at least.” I nodded, and gave him a peck on the cheek. We would get through this together.
“Kookie?” I peered into the dark hallway outside our room. “Guys?” Where was everyone? I had been working on my speech for the press conference for a few hours, when I was rudely interrupted by my growling stomach. I had thought the boys were still in the living room talking, but the dark and empty hallway led me to doubt that. I slowly walked towards the living room, and found a small candle on the floor, giving off a soft glow on the area around it.
“Pabos,” I muttered. They should know better than to leave a candle lit. I walked over to the candle, and crouched down to blow it out. I took a deep breath, but froze when I heard a noise coming from the other hallway. “Kookie?” No answer. I slowly stood up, and walked towards the entryway, only to find another flickering candle on the floor in front of the hallway. I continued my adventure to discover the source of the noise, and cautiously crept down the hallway. As I turned the corner, I jumped in fear when my bare foot came in contact with something that was definitely not the hardwood floor. I peeled the mysterious object off of the bottom of my foot, and brought it up to my face to observe it. The light scent of roses filled by nose. A rose petal? I glanced at the floor and found multiple rose petals scattered all over the floor. First candles, and now rose petals? I peered around the corner and saw two candles at the end of the hallway, one on each side of the door at the end. That was the Jin and Namjoon’s room. I knew there was something going on between those two! When I got to the door, I pressed my ear against it to listen for any strange noises. You never know what could be going on in there. Seconds passed, and all I heard was silence. After giving myself a little pep talk, my hand grasped the knob, and I slowly opened the door.
I wasn’t prepared for what was on the other side of the door.
My mouth gaped as I took in the sight of the room. My eyes grazed over the rose petal-littered floor, and the candles lining the perimeter of the room, eventually coming to a halt when they met with another set of warm brown eyes.
“Kookie?” His nervous smile made me curious. “What’s going on?” He walked over to me and grabbed my hand, gently leading me to the piano on the other side of the room. He sat down on the bench, and made room for me to sit next to him. His fingers began to dance over the keys, a soft melody filling the room. His nervousness melted as he became engrossed in the song, and I was mesmerized by his profile, lit by the soft glow of the candles on the piano.
"Feeling like I'm breathing my last breath
Feeling like I'm walking my last steps
Look at all of these tears I've wept
Look at all the promises that I've kept
I put my heart into your hands
Here's my soul to keep
I let you in with all that I can
You're not hard to reach
And you've blessed me with the best gift
That I've ever known
You give me purpose
Yeah, you've given me purpose
Thinking my journey's come to an end, oh
Sending out a farewell to my friends
Ask you to forgive me for my sins
Oh would you please?
I'm more than grateful for the time we spent
My spirit's at ease
I put my heart into your hands
Learn the lessons you teach
No matter when, wherever I am
You're not hard to reach
And you've given me the best gift
That I've ever known
You give me purpose everyday
You give me purpose in every way
Oh, you are my everything
Oh, you are my everything"
He continued playing out the melody on the piano as the song came to an end. His chest heaved slightly as he caught his breath. I had no words to express my emotions. I could only hope he could feel them through our bond.
“Jungkook...” I whispered, looking into his eyes.
“Jagiya. We have a tough future ahead of us. The next few weeks, maybe even months, are going to be really hard. Not just for you, but for me, the members, and us. I love you beyond what words can express, and I want to get through this together.” I nodded with a smile.
“I promise we will get through this road bump together.” He shook his head, causing me to scrunch my eyebrows in confusion.
“I don’t want to just get through this road bump together. I want to get through every road bump together.” He reached behind the vase of roses sitting on the top of the piano, and pulled a small black box from the hiding spot. My eyes widened as I realized what it was. He pried open the box, a bright smile on his face, and hope in his eyes. My eyes gazed at the beautiful ring, nestled between the crevice of the maroon-colored velvet that lined the little box. “Jagiya, will you give me purpose for the rest of my life? Will you love me forever as I will you?” He paused, and I glanced up at his face.
“Cathleen, will you marry me?”
*Song: Jungkook cover of Purpose by Justin Bieber. I do not own the song or its lyrics.