So, I did manage to get my butt on track and set this post up. And I just bought a keyboard for my Kindle so hopefully I won't have any problems posting next week since I won't have my laptop. I hope you enjoy this chapter--if that's possible, lol.
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Disclaimer: The events are purely fictional. While BTS is real, I don't know them personally so this is just for fun. the original picture does not belong to me, but the editing does.
Warning: May contain mild language, mentions of blood and violence.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Previous: Chapter 18
Bonus Next: Chapter 19 Bonus 1
Next: Chapter 20
18 Years Ago
“Let’s see… We can call you Angel,” a 13-year-old Namjoon declared.
“Why Angel?” a 12-year-old Sam asked.
“My mom had a big ol’ book of art and there was one with a whole bunch of angels on it. When you swung at Y—hyung, I mean—with that stick, you looked just like the angel. Super fierce and strong.” He didn’t say he thought she looked like an angel before that when he saw her standing in that patch of sun. Not only could he never say that to her, but his hyungs would tease him endlessly if they heard it.
“And pretty?” the 15-year-old Jin teased.
“Shut up, hyung.” Namjoon looked down to hide his blush.
“I like that,” Sam told him shyly.
“Okay, so we have Angel. How about me?” Jin asked.
“Princess,” a 14-year-old Yoongi laughed.
“Wha—Why—Hell no. Why do I have to be ‘Princess’? That’s a girl’s name.”
“You’re the one wearing pink,” Namjoon interjected with a laugh. Sam was laughing as well.
“Princess,” Sam giggled.
“No!” Jin announced forcefully.
Sam faked a pout. “I like it…”
“Then why don’t you be Princess?”
“But I’m Angel…”
“Well, I don’t wanna be Princess.” Jin crossed his arms with finality.
“What’s that stupid game you like?” Yoongi asked him.
“Mario is not stupid!”
“Oh, you like Mario?” Sam asked with sparkling eyes.
“Duh,” Jin scoffed, soaking in the new attention Sam gave him.
“Then why don’t you be Peach?” Sam offered. “It’s not that girly.”
“Peach?” Jin asked more to himself. “It’s still kinda girly, but I guess that’s—“
“Peach it is!” Yoongi exclaimed. “Now my turn.”
“Kit!” “Rock!” Sam and Namjoon shouted simultaneously.
“’Cause you like to sit around all day and do nothing,” Namjoon explained.
“’Cause I’m up all night!” Yoongi retorted.
“That’s why I thought Kit was good,” Sam interrupted what was about to turn into an argument. She’d only met the boys the previous day, but she already had an idea about each of their personalities.
“Why’s that?” Yoongi asked, turning from Namjoon with a huff.
“It’s short for kitty cat. You’re like a cat. You’re active when you’re awake, but you also take long naps. You slept for three hours straight in the middle of the day yesterday. In a tree. And Kitty’s a little girly. But Kit sounds cool.”
“Oh sure, make sure his name’s not girly,” Jin mumbled.
Yoongi coughed and managed to keep up his cool façade. Something about the way she talked to him gave him weird feelings in his stomach; something like butterflies fluttering around. “Kit, huh? I guess that’s alright.”
Sam smiled broadly, making that fluttering feeling in Yoongi’s stomach increase. Namjoon frowned. He didn’t like the way Yoongi was around her. He’d never seen his hyung act like that. And for some reason, her smiling at him made him a little angry.
“Last, but not least,” Sam said, turning to him. Namjoon quickly wiped away his previous look. “What should we call you?”
“’Pain in the Ass’,” Jin suggested.
“I’m gonna tell your dad you’re cursing again,” Namjoon warned playfully.
“Then you’d have to tell on yourself as well, snitch.”
Namjoon stuck his tongue out.
“Really, guys, what name?”
“Well, he likes hip hop and rap,” Jin said.
“So do I,” Yoongi said.
“Who were you quoting yesterday? The thing about nature?” Sam asked.
“’In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous’?” Namjoon quoted again.
“Hmmmm… Then how about… Ari? Since those words were the first things you said to me.”
“Suits him,” Yoongi said with a laugh. “He is the philosopher of our little group.”
“Looks like it’s settled,” Jin said. “Ari, Kit, Peach, and Angel. There. Now you don’t have to break your promise to your parents about giving your name. We’ll only call you Angel.”
“Angel,” Yoongi and Namjoon said together with smiles.
“Ari…” How is it possible? After all these years, how is it possible for me to run into him again? Fall in love with him again? Except now we were adults, we had grown up. He was my first love and he’d broken my heart. But that 13-year-old’s heart healed and moved on. It had fallen in love and suffered, then fallen in love again. And it turned out to be Ari. But, no, he wasn’t Ari anymore, he was Namjoon, right? So then why was he glaring at me with such hatred? Namjoon took a step towards me and I stepped back. His expression was menacing and it scared me in a way he’d never scared me before. He didn’t look like my Namjoon.
“You,” he spat, thrusting his shaking finger at me. I flinched. “This was just another game, wasn’t it?” Now I was split between fear and confusion. “I ruined your fun the first time when I kept you from having the both of us wrapped around your finger. So, what? Was it luck or careful planning when you came across me and saved my life? Did you recognize me and decide to see how long you could play with me?”
He stepped closer and I stepped back again, bumping into the doorframe. I wanted to say something but I didn’t even know where to start. I couldn’t even talk.
“It wasn’t enough to make me bond with you either! You encouraged me to drink your blood! You told me to! You wanted me to feel this way for you!” I felt the tears fall. Our relationship started with one electrifying, breathtaking moment and it was ending in shouts. I had to say something.
“I didn’t know,” I finally choked out. “I didn’t know you were Ari. And you’re wrong about all of it.”
“Liar,” he spat. “You disgust me.” My body jolted as my mind was sent back to that time. His words… “You’re pathetic.” I clutched at my chest.
“Out,” I said quickly. That stopped him. His expression was unreadable and he looked around as if lost. Maybe he really did get trapped in the past for a moment. But it didn’t matter, he wouldn’t talk to me like that. Not again. “Get out!” I screamed. He flinched away from me. Now he looked like my Namjoon and that made it hurt even more. I shoved him away from me, shoved him again towards the bedroom door and he stumbled out. I grabbed his clothes from the floor and threw them at him. “Get out now!”
He caught the clothes but made no move to leave so I shoved him again. He was only in his briefs as I ran around and opened the door. He moved like he was in a daze and he didn’t fight back. All the venom and hatred in his demeanor were gone as if they were never there in the first place. I walked back and shoved him out the door. As my fingers left his chest I realized that it would probably be the last time I ever touched him. My heart, which had been hurting so painfully before, finally shattered.
As the tears poured down, I met his eyes again. I hoped I could convey all the pain he made me feel. My voice cracked as I spoke this time. “My last words to you will be the ones you said to me, Ari,” I spat with all the venom I could muster; it was the most difficult thing I’d ever done. “‘I regret the moment I first saw you and I pray I never have to see you again’.” And then I slammed the door closed, locking all the locks. I could only take a single step before my legs gave out beneath me.
I stayed that way, kneeling awkwardly on the floor, for some time. I leaned my back against the wall and let out the scream I’d been holding in. I screamed out in pure anguish and slammed the back of my head into the wall. In time, I wouldn’t have cared that he was Ari. We could have talked about it. It was easy to see now that the story of his first love was about me, but I didn’t know how he’d gotten so confused about the relationship between me and Kit—no, I guess I should say Yoongi. We could have talked and figured out why our stories were so different. I loved Namjoon. Or at least, I loved who I thought he was. If we had decided to take a breather to figure things out, I could’ve handled that. But this… this wasn’t that. This was final and heart-wrenching. This just showed that Namjoon wasn’t my Namjoon, he was Ari with a better disguise. He was the same two-faced bastard he was back then. I screamed again.
From my position on the floor, I could see the vase of roses. Black velvet… I felt like throwing up. I stumbled to the bathroom. My body heaved, but nothing came up. My necklace clinked against the porcelain bowl, reminding me it was there. I tried to yank it off, but Namjoon was right, it was sturdy. My fingers fumbled with the clasp and when I finally got it off, I threw it back into the bedroom. The empty bedroom. Empty…
Almost everything I owned was at Namjoon’s. All of my clothes, my belongings, everything that mattered to me… My heart was in a vice when the thought passed through my head that I would need to get my things back. It was far too soon to even think about that. The pain I felt was the only thing that told me I wasn’t dreaming.
When everything had happened with Ari, I’d been heartbroken. But I had also only been 13. Plus, with my family being killed just after, I didn’t have a long time to just dwell on losing my love. And then there was Daesung. Between losing him and our unborn baby, I’d fallen into such a deep depression that I’d actually tried to kill myself. And when Granny, Meg, and my other friends finally helped to me to crawl out of that, I’d promised myself to never let myself fall so low again. But now… I had lost Namjoon. He was supposed to be my last.
I got up and walked back to my bed, collapsing on top of the covers. What seemed like only a second ago, I’d been lying in the bed watching Namjoon sleep and thinking about how happy I was to spend the rest of my life with him. Fate was too cruel. I curled up on the bed and stared off at the bedroom door. The pain was so much, I felt myself go numb. At some point, my phone started vibrating. The traitorously hopeful thought that maybe it was Namjoon calling had me scrambling for my phone. My heart sank when I saw Jin’s name. I wondered if Namjoon had told him or if it was just coincidence. I let the phone keep ringing. He called again and again. Yoongi called, Taehyung called, everyone called. However it happened, they knew.
When I couldn’t handle the up and down of Namjoon possibly calling, I turned off my phone. I’m not sure exactly how long I lay there without moving. I was torn from my blank mind by someone pounding on the front door. I felt that flutter again as I considered the possibility of it being Namjoon. But even if it was, could I just forgive him as if he’d never said those things? I weakly pushed myself off the bed and shuffled to the front door. I looked through the peephole and was surprised to find, not Namjoon, but Yoongi on the other side. He started another round of pounding. I quickly opened the door before the neighbors could get too angry.
He looked startled when I opened the door. I probably looked disheveled and he definitely had to think so judging by the way his eyes looked over me.
Jin texted Yoongi and the others, except Namjoon, in a group chat telling them that something was wrong with Namjoon. He had them come up to his place and told them what he’d seen. Jin had been heading out to grab some pastries from the bakery next door when he ran into Namjoon in the lobby. Not even greeting him, Namjoon walked like a zombie towards the elevator. His clothes were in a complete state of disarray. When Jin grabbed Namjoon to ask what was wrong, Namjoon shrugged him off and only said ‘I did it again’. The guys quickly agreed to go down to Namjoon’s place to see what was wrong. When they got there, Namjoon wasn’t even in his apartment, he was sitting on the ground just outside.
“What’s wrong?” Jin asked worriedly, kneeling down next to him.
“I… I can’t go in…” The look in his eyes scared Yoongi—scared all of them. He looked… empty, like the life was sucked out of him. Yoongi walked to the door and typed in the passcode, the date Sam moved in, and the door beeped to unlock.
“It’s the same passcode,” he told Namjoon.
“I know… That’s why I couldn’t go in.”
“What’s that mean?” Jimin asked him. Namjoon stayed quiet as he stood up and shuffled inside. Yoongi looked at Jin who just shrugged, a worried expression on his face. They followed Namjoon in. He stopped just inside the door staring at the picture collage he and Sam put together. The guys looked at each other, then back to Namjoon. Like a switch had been flipped, he suddenly smashed his fist into the mirror just next to the door. Blood flowed from his knuckles and they quickly grabbed his arm.
“What the hell—“ Yoongi started. He wrenched himself from their grasp and ran to the end of the hall where another mirror awaited. His fist went through that one as well. The guys ran to him but he was apparently done. He collapsed to the floor, sitting upright but in a fetal position and began crying. That scared them more than anything, Namjoon never cried. So they did the only think they could think of, they called Sam. And when she didn’t answer her phone, it was worse. Jin called a few more times before Namjoon realized who they were calling, grabbed the phone from Jin’s hand, and threw it into the far wall, shattering it completely.
Jin was about to grab Namjoon by the collar when Namjoon cried out in a broken voice, “It’s over! It’s all over. We’re over.” In his surprise, Jin let Namjoon fall back to the floor with a thump. Yoongi stared at Namjoon with wide eyes before falling back behind the boys and attempting to call Sam as well. She still didn’t answer. Taehyung followed Yoongi, and without letting Namjoon see them, they all tried to call. Jungkook was the first to tell them that the call went straight to voicemail. Yoongi wanted to run to Sam’s to see what exactly had happened, but Namjoon needed to be his first priority.
It was another hour before Namjoon, who still hadn’t moved from his spot, finally spoke up again. “It was all a lie,” he said quietly. The ones who’d moved to the couch now joined Jin and Yoongi next to Namjoon.
“What was all a lie?” Jin asked.
“Everything.” He spoke as if only to himself. “I… I shouldn’t’ve said those words. I didn’t mean to say it but… it had to be true. Why else would she lie like that? I wasn’t her first love, I saw it. But why—why would she do this? I loved her… I love her…”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Hoseok plied gently. Namjoon looked up to him in a daze before looking at the others. His eyes met Yoongi’s and he stopped.
“It was always you,” he croaked.
“Wh—“ Yoongi started.
“Angel. She loved you, not me.”
Yoongi looked to Jin before looking back at Namjoon. “Angel? W-Why are you talking about Angel?” The younger boys began talking to themselves trying to figure out what was going on.
“She never said the name when she talked about her first love, but now I can see she was talking about me. But that must mean she had this planned all along, because she loved Kit, not Ari. So she had to have been lying, right?” As far as anyone could tell, Namjoon was just rambling.
“Joon, what are you talking about? Why are you talking about Angel?”
Namjoon pulled out a crumpled picture from his pocket and held it out to Yoongi. “It’s the last picture Sam’s family took.”
Yoongi hesitantly grabbed the picture. He was confused for only a second. His eyes went wide and his heart started pounding. He looked at Namjoon as if to confirm. The tears Namjoon shed and the guilty way he turned away told Yoongi all he needed to know. The picture fell from his grasp as he stood up and raced for the door. He was already calling the valet to have his car ready as he waited impatiently for the elevator.
Namjoon watched him leave, his heart feeling crushed. He turned to Jin. “It was him first.”
I was out of breath from running up the stairs. The elevator had seemed to take too long to get to me. I pounded desperately on her door. Now it made sense, feeling like we’d bonded, the craving I’d had for her even though, I thought, I’d never bonded with her or drunk her blood before. It really was what Jin had suggested at the beginning, but 17 years was a lifetime ago. And I had never considered the possibility of her being Angel. My Angel. No, I berated myself. She’s still Namjoon’s Angel. She always was. I just… I have to see her…I froze at the realization that Namjoon must still think the things I let him think all those years ago. I had to see Angel; I had to fix this.
Sam opened the door and I sucked in a sharp breath. Her eyes were pink and swollen from crying. Her hair was every which way and she looked… gone. She looked like Namjoon, like the life had been sucked out of her.
“K-Kit,” she cried, falling into my arms. I helped keep her up and held her close. What I would’ve given to have been in this position 17 years ago. But now, she was only my friend, that’s all she could ever be and my heart had slowly come around to that realization and acceptance. And yet, I couldn’t help but feel guilty that I was the one holding her right now. It should’ve been Namjoon. I managed to slowly back her back into her apartment and close the door. I guided her to the couch and noticed how completely bare everything was, even considering how it had looked before. She and Namjoon had been serious about moving in together.
“Sam,” I cooed softly. She looked up at me and I couldn’t help the small pain in my heart at seeing her like that.
“Namjoon told you guys, didn’t he?” Her voice was as broken as her spirit looked.
“He hasn’t said much,” I told her. “He broke some things and then shut down. He told us you were Angel and showed me the picture. He said… he said it was over? And that it was a lie? What’s he—shit.” Sam clutched at her chest and curled into a ball. I held her as she cried, rocking back and forth. I let her cry for a few minutes before speaking up again. “What exactly happened?” I hesitantly asked.
“He thinks… he thinks I’ve been playing with him. I don’t know why,” she cried. “I didn’t know he was Ari. And—and I could handle that given time. Because—I thought I knew Namjoon. But, he’s the same he was then. The words that he spat at me… Like daggers straight through my heart. But… I’m so confused. He thinks… he thinks I was playing with you both even back then. He said that I was trying to wrap you both around my finger…” I was quiet, completely lost as to how I could possibly hope to fix this. What could I even say that wouldn’t make it sound like I did it on purpose? Or maybe I should worry about that later, try to fix everything that I could between them now.
“The story he told me,” she continued, “of his first love. I guess… I guess it was me? But… if that’s the case… why did he think you and I were bonded? He said—he said he saw us bond and saw you seal it by drinking my blood. I only let you drink the one time and we both remember why, but we weren’t bonded and he wasn’t there anyway.” She didn’t see my guilty expression. “But… it was the next day I went to tell him how I felt.” My heart squeezed. “The words he said… those were the cruelest things I’d ever heard. I wanted to talk to him after, I was hoping you would help me…”
“Then… why did you disappear?” I finally asked the question that had been burning in my heart for years after she left. I always thought it was Namjoon’s fault. He told me what he’d done and Angel never came back after that. I blamed him. Even after he told me and I realized the misunderstanding, I blamed him. That was part of what held me back from telling him the truth. By the time I stopped feeling that way, it was too late. My confession of what had occurred would’ve only made him blame himself even more. My guilt let me continue to let him blame me.
Sam looked at me sadly. “I didn’t want to, I had to. I told N-N-Namj-joon.” His name came out like she’d said something taboo. “My family was killed the next night. Vampires came to our summer house and killed my family. It was a miracle I survived and I was taken to the hospital afterward then placed in an orphanage until I ran away. I never had the chance to go back.”
There was too much in her words. I felt horrible for her. She’d gone through so much.
“I looked for you,” I said. “When Namjoon came back and said he’d done something horrible to you, I went looking for you. I looked everywhere around where we always found you. I searched every house and cabin around there and even started moving away from there. I searched all day and night.”
Her voice was still shaky as she continued. “I didn’t live there, that was my getaway spot. I ran there so my family couldn’t find me. Our house was in The Pines, that area by the big hills.” My blood ran cold. “We were pretty secluded. But at least now I know who they were.”
“A-And who’s that?”
“A gang called the Draculs.” It felt like my heart stopped. “It was the same people who attacked Namjoon and me that night.” After that, I didn’t hear anything she said.
Ok, maybe the pic is a little too cheesy this time, but oh well. As for the story, do you hate me yet? I don't know why I have a thing for heartbreaking angsty stuff sometimes. And I'm only getting started. I did warn at the beginning that this story would get dark. Let's see how far the rabbit hole we go. But I do feel bad for them... I'm such a bad person to my characters sometimes.
Also, I thought it would be interesting to write short backstory segments. I'll post them between the regular chapters so don't worry about a super short chapter making it take longer. Just thought it would be good to let people see more of the story since I don't want to spend too much time of the regular story exploring the history. Hope that's alright for you. Please enjoy! I hope to see you all for the next post.
Please feel free to leave any feedback or constructive criticism either on here or messaging me. I'm always looking to improve.
Also, I'm uploading all my old stories, with some (sometimes major) editing, onto Wattpad in case anyone is interested or uses it. My username is the same. Thanks in advance for your support!