Hello! I'm so happy I'm keeping to my schedule so far. I know last chapter was pretty harsh, but I hope the bonus chapter made you feel a little better. Cause you need it for this chapter, lol. I'm so mean...
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Disclaimer: The events are purely fictional. While BTS is real, I don't know them personally so this is just for fun. the original picture does not belong to me, but the editing does.
Warning: May contain mild language, mentions of blood and violence.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Bonus Previous: Chapter 19 Bonus 1
Previous: Chapter 19
Bonus Next: Chapter 20 Bonus 2
Next: Chapter 21
17 years ago
Where the hell does Angel live? I’d been looking for her place everywhere hoping to catch just a quick scent of her, but she was nowhere to be found. My search was slowly expanding. I had to find her and make sure she didn’t leave because of Namjoon. I cared about her too much. I—I think I loved her. No, not think. If what happened yesterday really happened, then I had to actually love her, right? It was the middle of the night, but I didn’t care. I had to find her.
I froze when I heard the sound of twigs breaking and leaves crunching. I wasn’t alone. I was downwind from whatever it was so it wasn’t likely to catch my scent. If it was a bear, I’d probably be okay, but if it was a cougar or wolf, that was a lot more dangerous. The amount of snapping suggested a small pack. I waited. Then I smelled them. It wasn’t wildlife, it was something that didn’t belong in the forest—vampires. It had to be the same ones. When they spotted me the previous day, they almost killed me. Angel helped make sure that I was healed enough for the others to not know. If they knew, they would worry. But it looked like they were out to find me again.
They were headed in the same direction I had been going, the next closest place, The Pines. I heard them talking amongst themselves. They said something about a house being secluded and the perfect place to get their fix. I heard them mention me, saying they wondered if they would be lucky enough to find me around there. I knew what they would do if they did find me, they would beat me almost to death and then bring me back. I’d heard of them torturing runaways until they fell back into things. In fact, I was pretty sure one of the group that found me had been in that position.
The only thing worse than being taken back would be to be taken back and changed into the person they’d been trying to make me, the person that sometimes lingered in my thoughts and actions. It’d even made a few appearances when Namjoon and Angel were together. I hated myself each time and I felt sick to my stomach thinking that they could warp my mind enough that I would lose that guilt; I would lose myself.
And I hated myself in that moment because I knew what I was going to do: nothing. There was no way I could stop them, and if they had me, maybe they would kill that family anyway. Maybe they would make me help… But even if revealing myself to them would stop the attack, I was too scared to do it. So I stayed hidden. I waited. When they were far enough away, I ran. I couldn’t do anything to stop them myself, but I could do one thing. I ran as fast as my legs would allow to the nearest store, a tiny little supply store with a gas station, tens of miles away and used the spare change I’d been saving to buy a treat for Angel when I found her to call the police. I refused to give my name or any more information, but I hung up with a promise that they would send enforcers out immediately. I prayed they would get there in enough time.
But it seems like I wasn’t fast enough. Sam’s family had been slaughtered because of me. I didn’t hear anything of what Sam had been saying, but there was nothing I could do. I pulled away from her and stood up.
“Y-Yoongi?” Her eyes, full of tears, looked at me in almost desperation. I took a step back. “Are you… disgusted by me?” I couldn’t stay there, looking at her, with the weight of my guilt crushing me. I had no idea what she was asking me about and I couldn’t answer. I stepped back towards the door. Her face fell and my heart hurt. But she would hate me more if she knew the truth. It was all my fault.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered and then rushed out the door. I heard her call out to me one more time before the stairwell door shut. She was never mine and I had resigned myself to that, but now I knew I couldn’t even stay close. We couldn’t be even be friends. I couldn’t be there even though she probably needed me. I killed her family.
I just finished telling Yoongi about the bastard vampire who only barely didn’t finish me off. I told his how dirty it made me feel and how disgusted I was with myself and how much I hated myself later for the cravings I had. And then he pushed away. I looked at him and he stood up. Did he hate me for letting that vampire drink from me, for not having the strength to push him away? Was it because of the cravings? Did I disgust him the way I had disgusted myself back then?
“Y-Yoongi?” His eyes looked at me almost fearfully. I didn’t understand it at all. “Are you… disgusted by me?” I was scared to hear the answer. I didn’t think I could handle hearing it from the two of the most important people to me. He stepped back towards the door and I was devastated. They were both turning their backs on me.
He said something under his breath and then ran, the door slamming open.
“Yoongi!” I called after him, stumbling to my feet and towards the door. I reached it in enough time to see the stairwell door slowly fall shut. I stood there staring, unable to move, for several minutes, the tears just continuing to burn tracks down my face. My world was falling apart. Scratch that—it had fallen apart. I stepped back in and closed the door. I felt myself go numb again. Back to my bed I went. I fell onto it and stared at the blank space where children’s drawings once filled the wall. It was as empty as me.
At some point, I fell into sleep. It was filled with nightmares of trying to run after someone who was always turning just around the next corner. Maybe it was Namjoon. Maybe it was Yoongi. Maybe it was myself. Who could tell?
I woke up the next morning to someone gently shaking my shoulder. I smiled. “Dimples?” I opened my eyes and found Meg there instead, a knowing look on her face. And then I remembered. And then I started crying again. She rocked me back and forth until I was out of tears to cry. She said something about me staying at her place for a while. I didn’t even need to ask how she knew, if not by Jin, then by Taehyung. She grabbed my phone and the bag that I had packed Friday. I couldn’t find my family picture. It was just as well, that picture was a harbinger of loss.
18 Years Ago
“Come on,” Ari called quietly.
“Ari…” I groaned in annoyance. “You forget, I can’t move as fast as you.” He always seemed to do that. But secretly, I loved it because it meant he was going to do the same thing he did every time. He scooped my up off my feet, eliciting a squeal of delight from me, and started racing (as much as he could holding me) up the hill. I loved our secret getaways. He would run off from the other guys and find me in the place he first saw me. He was so sweet. I was so scared to tell him that I liked him. I was just some girl, a human at that. My parents always said that the only thing that separates humans and vampires was what we let separate us. But that didn’t make me feel any more confident.
He set me down at the top of the hill and we walked together to the waterfall. My stomach got all fluttery every time our hands would accidentally brush against each other. We reached the waterfall and he set his backpack down, laying out a small blanket and a basket with a few snacks I had managed to sneak out of the house. He told me to sit down on the blanket and as soon as I did, his head was on my lap. Moments like these… I wished to have them forever. But summer vacation was ending soon. I prayed I would see him again next year. And the year after that. And the year after that. And the year after that…
Once at her place, she made me eat. I hadn’t eaten in the last day, but my appetite was nonexistent. Still, I had a few bites for her benefit. I kept my phone on me, this time turned back on. It was only for work’s sake… Right. I couldn’t even convince myself. But even if he called, what the hell was I supposed to do? The things he said to me… I had tried piecing together all the things he’d told about his childhood and his first love. I had no idea why he thought Yoongi and I were together. Though I guess if he thought that, I could see why he would’ve freaked out the way he did. But now… It meant he didn’t trust me. He thought it was all a ploy. And more than the words themselves, that idea is what ripped me apart.
I had to be strong. I couldn’t be the weak girl I was when Daesung died, I couldn’t let myself fall down that rabbit hole. So I did the only thing I could do, I drowned myself in work. Meg was about my size so I was able to share her uniforms. She gave me extra toiletries and clothing to sleep in. I tried to pretend that they were my clothes, my belongings, my things. I couldn’t bear the thought of needing to get my things from Namjoon’s place. To take my things back was… final. It meant there was no turning back; it was the end. And though I knew that it really was over, I couldn’t bring myself to face it. Meg had offered to talk to one of the guys about getting just a few of my more important things, but I was too scared. Though I tried to be strong, I was weak. Besides, if Namjoon hated me as much as he seemed to, he had probably thrown all my things into boxes at the least and in the garbage at the most.
The week rolled on. I received so many messages from the guys, minus Namjoon and Yoongi, asking me to talk to them and tell them what all happened. Apparently, Namjoon wasn’t saying anything. That didn’t surprise me though, why would he want to talk about something so unpleasant? Day by day, I felt the cravings for both Namjoon and Yoongi become stronger. The strength of the cravings had been climbing rapidly towards the pinnacle just before everything had happened. And either because of the cravings, or related to it, I started to feel sicker and sicker. Some days, I was in so much pain and sick that I didn’t even want to move.
More than the cravings, though, I missed Namjoon. I missed his voice and his smile. I missed waking up to him in the morning, him with all his light snoring. I missed falling asleep next to him at night, how he would wrap his arms around me even in his sleep. I missed his scent. I missed the way he used to hold me, arms snaked tightly around me from behind. I missed hearing him call me feisty. I missed feeling his body against mine, his moans and groans as he made love to me. I missed everything. But it was over… and that devastated me.
Meg worried for me, but I would just tell her everything was fine. I know she never believed me. It was a seemingly endless cycle of waking up, working, working, working, small nap, vending-machine food, more working, and on and on. I was barely at Meg’s. I saw people at work looking at me either with worry or self-righteousness. I heard the rumors about how I must’ve been dumped by my boyfriend. No one actually knew anything, but they weren’t afraid to add in their opinions to the rumor. Meg convinced me to stick to working on the Dracul case with just paperwork. I know she was worried about me being distracted in the field. And she was probably right.
Friday, I reached one of my weaker moments. After work, a double-shift after an overnight watch, I went back to my apartment. I took the bus since I didn’t trust my body to handle driving. I was lucky that my paperwork at work kept me busy. I usually either caught rides from Meg or took the bus. I got to the apartment and had that feeling of being watched again. A darker part of me hoped it was the Draculs coming to finish the job. If they finished me off, wouldn’t the pain go away as well? When I got into my apartment without incident, I figured it was my lucky/unlucky day. The first thing I did was look for the necklace I’d thrown in my rage on Saturday.
When I couldn’t find it, I became frantic. It was irrational, but I felt almost as if the necklace was my lifeline to Namjoon. I found Namjoon’s undershirt he’d been wearing on Friday, only a week ago, though it seemed like longer. I’m not sure how long I was curled up on the floor, his shirt against my face, tears pouring down, as I was reminded of his scent. How was it possible that it seemed like years since I’d smelled that scent? My thumb hovered over the call button on my cellphone, his contact on the screen, as I fought with myself over whether or not to call him. I wanted—no, needed—to hear his voice. But I knew that was the worst thing I could do. Instead, I found myself listening to voicemails I’d never deleted. The sound of his sweet, mellifluous voice made my heart throb painfully. I missed him so much, it was killing me. I wondered if he even thought about me anymore.
I opened my eyes and found the necklace laying on the floor right in front of me. I grasped it tightly in my fingers. I wouldn’t wear it, but I could never let it disappear again.
I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep until the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. Assuming it was Meg wondering where I was, I answered.
“Noona?” Jungkook? He sounded out of breath. I sat up.
“Thank God you picked up. I was scared—but never mind. I need your help, noona. Shit!” Then the sound of feet slapping on pavement, voices yelling in the background.
“Jungkook?!” I was wide awake and already heading for the door, tucking the necklace into my pocket. No answer, but the phone was still connected.
“Enforcers!” I heard him yell before the sound of a gunshot turned my blood to ice.
“Jungkook!” Sam screamed. The sound of the phone hitting the pavement, but still working. More yelling, a loud groan of pain. Without a thought about locking the door, Sam was running down the hall. She passed by her neighbor who said something Sam couldn’t hear at all, she wasn’t truly in the hall, she was lost in the call. The elevator was stuck on a floor so she took the stairs, practically jumping entire lengths of the narrow stairwell. “Jungkook, please stay with me.” The sound of muffled laughing.
Sam knew that voice. There would be no controlling her rage when she found him. If Jungkook died, she would kill him, snap his neck with her own two hands. The phone call ended. She knew Luke and JaeHoon wouldn’t take him to the hospital if they could help it, so she headed to the station. She called Jin, unsure of what exactly she told him, as she ran. She ran until she was able to flag down a cab and then she was at the station. Finding a cab had taken long enough that she figured Jungkook had to be at the station by then. And she was right.
The second she saw Jungkook’s face all beaten and bloodied, something snapped. She already fought with others before when something like this had happened to other vampires, but this was different. Not only was this Jungkook, whom Sam had come to love like a little brother, but she hadn’t been in her logical mind since a week previous. Add on whatever she was coming down with and she was done.
She ran to the bars. “Jungkook!”
“Noona,” he cried out, scurrying to his feet. When he reached her, her hands went through the gaps in the bars to gently hold his face as she surveyed the damage. Tears welled up in her eyes. His face was pretty badly bruised and cut, his clothes were torn up, knees bleeding, and she saw the place where the bullet had grazed his arm, tearing through the sleeve of his white shirt.
“What did they do to you?” she asked rhetorically, her voice only heard by the two of them. Meg, who followed Sam after seeing her run in during her off shift and being gone all night, ran to the bars as well.
“Jungkook, holy—What the hell happened?!”
“Oh look, the bleeding hearts,” a man sneered. Luke. Sam’s expression went blank and Jungkook looked at her with worry.
“Did you do this?” Sam asked without turning around.
“We both did,” another enforcer, JaeHoon, answered in an almost triumphant voice. “Resisting arrest. Justifiable—“
He was interrupted as Sam’s fist slammed into his jaw, knocking him out cold. Luke guarded himself as Sam turned her wrath to him. He barely kept up with her swings so she surprised him with a punch to the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to double over, and started swinging again. After the initial shock wore off, the onlookers grabbed at Sam. She tried to pull away but was overpowered. Of course, anyone could tell it was for her benefit, not Luke’s. While a couple of the people there were elitists as well, most were happy to see the two get what was more than overdue.
Deciding that it was the best course of action, Meg suggesting putting Sam in the cell with Jungkook so she could cool down and focus on taking care of him rather than trying to kill the guys. People were talking about what exactly was going to happen as a result. But for now, as Meg suggested, her idea was effective. Locked in the cell with Jungkook, Sam took to holding him firmly, though carefully, against her, ‘guarding’ him from other enforcers. Jungkook couldn’t lift his head to look at anyone. Meg promised to work on getting him out of there and she passed Sam a first aid kit. Sam directed Jungkook to look at her and he reluctantly did. She felt her heart break for him. Sweet Jungkook, so nervous around strangers, fearful of enforcers, of course it had to be him. She started cleaning his face with the wet towel someone else had given her.
“I’m so sorry, Kookie,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry that people like them exist in the world.”
“I-It’s okay, noona,” he said, smiling sweetly. “I’m just happy you answered your phone. I was afraid…”
“It’s a good thing your call woke me up, I might’ve been too scared to answer if I’d been awake.” Jungkook was quiet as she cleaned his face.
Then he spoke up again. “About Namjoon-hyung.” Jungkook saw her body go rigid. But he couldn’t stop just yet. “Could you… un-break up with him?” Before Sam could reply, he quickly continued. “I-I mean, I don’t know what happened, he won’t tell anyone. In fact, he hasn’t really talked much at all. Or moved. Or really done anything. Except… B-But you love him, right?”
Cognizant of the crowded area, Sam kept her tears in check. “He doesn’t love me,” she said flatly.
Jungkook grabbed her hands from his face. His eyes were wide as he looked at her, bewildered. Jungkook could easily recall the way Namjoon looked at her, the way he was so obviously smitten with her even when she wasn’t there, the way he always talked about her. And he’d seen how Namjoon had been for the last week. His hyung was broken, completely empty. He never talked, or moved except when he’d have one of his fits and started screaming and breaking everything he could get his hands on for about ten seconds, then he was back to being catatonic. They had to force-feed him blood because he seemed content to wither away. He took pills to sleep and that seemed to be all he wanted to do now.
“Are you crazy?” Jungkook burst out. “I’ve never seen anyone more in love, not even in movies. Maybe in anime, but that’s beside the point. And how he is now… How could you think he doesn’t love you?”
Sam let out a small sigh. “He doesn’t trust me. And you can’t truly love someone without trust. You don’t understand.”
“No more, Jungkook,” Sam said firmly. “I can’t talk… not here… not anywhere. I can’t—“ her voice broke. She looked him in the eyes. “I can’t keep hoping that he’ll show up or call and tell me he’s sorry for what he did, the things he said. I have to stop. I can’t do it anymore or I’ll break apart…”
Jungkook looked down. He didn’t want to stop, he wanted to keep pushing until he found out what had happened between them. He wanted to fix them and make them happy together again. But he realized how naïve and childish that sounded, so he stopped. He wanted to ask about what happened between her and Yoongi as well because Yoongi had been off since he ran out of Namjoon’s apartment but refused to talk. But Jungkook knew enough to realize that this was not the time or the place anymore. Sam continued cleaning his face and started attending the wounds. Jungkook could see it in her eyes. Though she hid it far better, she was just as broken as Namjoon.
Sorry for all the jumping around, but hopefully it wasn't too confusing. And sorry for what I've done to Sam and Yoongi as well. And poor Jungkook...
I will try to release the next bonus chapter tomorrow night. Fingers crossed. Hope to see you then!!!
Please feel free to leave any feedback or constructive criticism either on here or messaging me. I'm always looking to improve.
Also, I'm uploading all my old stories, with some (sometimes major) editing, onto Wattpad in case anyone is interested or uses it. My username is the same. Thanks in advance for your support!