Hey guys! I'm staying up late to post this just because I love you guys. I'm not gonna say too much cause there's not much to say and I'm super sleepy. So, here's the chapter. I suggest you prepare yourselves because there are some serious trigger warnings for this chapter, if you're big on those. This might be the darkest chapter of this entire story, so I apologize in advance.
Thank you for everyone who's reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.
Disclaimer: The events are purely fictional. While BTS is real, I don't know them personally so this is just for fun. the original picture does not belong to me, but the editing does.
Warning: May contain mild language. Trigger warnings for loss. No details, but be prepared for bad, dark things. Even I had trouble writing this.
Beginning: Chapter 1
Bonus Previous: Chapter 20 Bonus 2
Previous: Chapter 20
Bonus Next: Chapter 21 Bonus 3
Next: Chapter 22
“Kookie!” Jungkook jumped up at the sound of Taehyung’s voice. He ran to the bars just before Taehyung and Jimin got there. Sam slowly packed the unused items back into the kit and made a pile of garbage on the floor.
“Noona,” they called out when they finally looked away from Jungkook. Jin walked over to the bars. Sam couldn’t help but look behind him, hoping to see Namjoon or Yoongi.
“It’s just us,” Jin told her as she approached the bars. “Yoongi wouldn’t say why, but he couldn’t come and Hoseok had to look after Namjoon.” Sam looked away. It did seem like there was something more than Namjoon just being done with her, but she refused to ask. Meg pulled Jin over and explained what had happened with Jungkook and then with Sam.
Jungkook finally told his side. It was a nice day so he parked his car at the end of a street well-known for having a variety of shops and just started checking out the shops. He needed some new clothes and, though he didn’t say this part, he needed to get away from seeing Namjoon so empty. He was walking down the street when he spotted a couple enforcers making their rounds. He was nervous, but tried to act natural. When he spotted the enforcers starting to deviate towards him, he walked faster. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but he was scared. He didn’t even know how they knew he was a vampire. When they started running after him, he started running. He immediately called Sam. He was caught when he turned down a dead-end street. The enforcers shot at him but he dodged, mostly. However, that gave them enough of a chance to tackle him to the ground and start beating the crap out of him. He was afraid to fight back because if he did, he knew it wouldn’t stop at a beating. And then they brought him to the station.
Between Jungkook’s story, Luke and JaeHoon’s reputation, words from Meg and Sam, and several calls from people in important places, there was no choice but to release Jungkook. Jungkook held onto Sam as Taehyung and Jimin held onto Jungkook. She walked them out to their car refusing to address Jin’s requests to talk to her alone. No matter how many times he told her that Namjoon was a mess, Sam couldn’t believe it. If that was the case, shouldn’t he call her, message her, apologize? The younger boys climbed into the back of the car while Jin stayed out with Sam asking her one last time about both Namjoon and Yoongi.
“Look, I’ll tell you something,” Sam caved just a little. Jin waited patiently. “Peach…” She chuckled weakly when he cringed at the old nickname. “Did Ar—N-Namjoon ever tell you what happened when we were kids?”
“He said… he said he saw you and Yoongi bond and you let him drink from you. And then when you tried to talk to him, he lost his temper. He said—he said he couldn’t remember the words he said, but the look on your face broke his heart. He tried looking for you after that.” That was something new. “He looked for you for weeks until we had to go back.” Sam never knew. Namjoon hadn’t even said that when talking about his first love. But did it change anything?
“I… I didn’t know that…” She shook her head. “But it doesn’t matter. If he truly felt regret, he didn’t show it. What he did then, he did it again. And worse, he showed that he didn’t trust me. There’s nothing that can be done about that.”
“Sam, there’s things you don’t understand about v—“
“I know, vampires lose their temper, etc., etc. But if that happened, why… why hasn’t he done anything to try to fix it?”
Jin’s mouth opened and shut soundlessly. “He’s an idiot, that’s why.”
“Of all people in the world, he’s the smartest I know.”
“No one’s smart when it comes to love.” His words rang in her ears. It was true. “There’s a reason why you haven’t come to get your things, isn’t there? You’re afraid that taking it all back, or anything back for that matter, means that it’s really over.” Sam couldn’t say anything. He was right. Jin hugged her and frowned. “You’re really warm.”
“Are you sick?”
“Stressed. I’ll be fine.”
“I didn’t want to say anything because, well, I was trying to be polite, but you look like a mess. You look miserable, like you haven’t slept or eaten properly. And you’re really warm, like, feverish warm. You should go to the hospital.”
Sam turned Jin towards his car door. “I’m fine. Just… take care of Jungkook.”
Jin turned back to her and she faked a smile. Neither was convinced. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”
Sam hesitated. “I promise I’ll live.”
Jin sighed. “Guess that’s as good as I’m going to get, huh?” He stepped into the car. “He does love you, he’s just a fool.” Sam had no answer to that. The boys waved as they drove away. Sam half-heartedly waved back.
The next couple hours were spent doing paperwork regarding the incident between me and Luke and JaeHoon. The guys were smart enough to not even attempt to press charges so the entire incident was written up as a ‘discussion held, matter settled’ incident. Jin probably also had something to do with it. I hated the idea of them not doing anything about what happened to Jungkook just to protect me.
As I waited for Meg to finish her shift, I thought about what Jin said. No one was smart when it came to love. But Namjoon’s words had cut so deeply, they were sure to leave a scar. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t called or anything, maybe he was scared of how much he hurt me, scared that I hated him. Any sane person should hate the person who said such horrible, scathing things. But sanity didn’t apply to those who were in love.
I also began to wonder if Jin was right about going to the hospital. Even Namjoon had remarked about me being warm, so that obviously started before the whole mess. Meg finished and we took off to her place. I took a few fever reducers when we got home, not wanting to worry Meg anymore. I fell asleep feeling exhausted.
When I woke up Sunday, I felt out of it. Everything was too warm even though I had apparently thrown the covers off in my sleep. My vision was blurry and my extremities felt disconnected. My mind was foggy. I tried to get to the bathroom to wash my face but I could only roll off the bed. I fell to the floor with a thump. That’s when I felt it. I looked down to see my pajamas bottoms red with blood. It wasn’t unusual for my period to be irregular, especially considering stress and my work pattern. But this was too much to be a simple period. And the cramps I felt were not normal.
I tried to call out, but my voice had no strength. I knew I couldn’t make it to the bathroom so I tried to crawl to the bedside table for my phone. I didn’t have the strength to lift myself up, but fortunately, the charging cord was within easy reach. I yanked at it almost dropping the phone on my head. My thumbprint unlocked it, but getting into my numbers was a task. I felt myself drifting towards unconsciousness with every passing second. Finally, I got Meg’s number. I heard it ringing in the apartment.
“Too lazy to get out of bed, huh?” she teased.
“M-Meg,” I rasped out. I heard her footsteps approach my door in a hurry and then she was at my side.
“Oh, God! You’re burning up.”
“I…” and I was gone into the pitch darkness.
I woke up with my body feeling sore and heavy. My eyes slowly took in the pale-yellow walls and the smell of antiseptics invaded my nostrils. I had to be in a hospital. My head lolled loosely from one side to the other as I searched for someone, anyone, who could tell me what happened. Meg was asleep in the chair next to my bed.
“Meg,” I croaked. I saw her stir. “Meg,” I called again, this time my voice a little stronger. She stirred again and then her head snapped up sharply.
“Sam.” She sat straight up and grabbed my hand. Someone walked in.
“Granny?” I hadn’t talked to her recently since the incident with Namjoon. How could I tell her the man I introduced her to, whom she had taken to like he was her own, had broken my heart and left me? I didn’t know how to tell her so I avoided it, just like I tried avoiding the situation itself.
Granny set the two cups of steaming coffee on the bed tray and pulled me into the biggest hug. I missed her hugs. I began to cry.
“Oh dear, don’t cry, sweetheart. My poor Sammy.” She sat on the edge of the bed to hug me even tighter. “It’s going to be okay. I’m right here with you, dear.” I cried harder. All the tears I’d been bottling up came out in the face of the woman who loved me more than anyone else did in the world. I fell back asleep in her comforting arms.
When I woke again, she was still there holding me tightly.
“Granny,” I said softly.
She moved to see my face. Her sweet smile was medicine by itself. “Awake again?” I nodded slowly. “If you need to sleep, just close your eyes, dear. I’m not going anywhere.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m okay. I just wanna know what’s wrong so I can take medicine and get back to work.”
She frowned. “I don’t want you to be mad at Meg, but she told me what happened between you and Namjoon.” My heart clenched at hearing his name. I looked around, finally realizing that Meg wasn’t there. “She’s down at the cafeteria. You’ve been in the hospital for about a day and I finally told her to go eat.”
Of course, leave it to me to cause her even more inconveniences. And if it had been a day, it was Monday which meant she was missing work too.
“Sammy, I know you like the back of my hand, don’t blame yourself. You’re not an inconvenience. You know she loves you as well.”
“I know…” I said quietly. I needed to change the subject. “Granny, should you be this close to me?” She looked at me in confusion. “I mean, unless what I have isn’t contagious. Did the doctor tell you?” Her face fell and I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach. “What? What is it?”
“I’ll have the doctor come in and explain. I don’t really understand it myself.” She patted my head and I watched her fearfully as she left the room. What’s wrong with me? The doctor came in a few minutes later with Granny following behind her. I looked at her nametag. Dr. Ji.
“Hello, Ms. Wester. How’re you feeling?”
I hesitantly answered. “I’ve been better and worse. Look, not to be rude, but can we just cut to the chase. What’s wrong with me that Granny couldn’t explain? It’s freaking me out the longer I wait.”
Dr. Ji didn’t look at all offended, in fact, she simply nodded her head in acknowledgement. “I completely understand.”
Meg walked in right then, pausing midstep as she took in the tension in the room. “Maybe I should come back?”
“No,” I said quickly and held out my other hand that Granny wasn’t holding.
“This is very personal,” Dr. Ji warned me.
“It’s okay, she’s my best friend, practically a sister. I’d like her here.”
Dr. Ji nodded again. “Alright then, if it’s fine with you. You asked me to cut to the chase so I’ll do that, though I would usually suggest a more… cautious approach.” Her words scared me, but I just wanted it done and over with it. She sounded serious, as if I had cancer. Maybe I did have cancer… Before my thoughts could grow darker, she quickly shut them down. “I know you’re probably wondering if you have cancer or some equally terrifying illness, but that’s not the case. I’m an OB/GYN doctor.”
My eyebrows furrowed together. Why the hell do I need an OB/GYN? “That’s…”
“Ms. Wester, I’m sorry to give you the bad news, but you had a miscarriage.” It took a few moments for me to realize she’d actually said the words I thought.
“A miscarriage? But that’s not… it’s not possible…”
“Because he’s a vampire?” I looked at her with wide eyes.
“How did you know?” I gripped my two supports tightly and I felt them hold my hand back.
“Unfortunately, the relatively recent acceptance of cross-species relationships and subsequent misinformation means that you are not the first, nor will you be the last, to be in this situation. While it’s uncommon enough to set it barely within the range of rare, it does happen.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, my mind reeling. “Humans and vampires… they can’t get pregnant.”
Her voice softened even more. “That is, unfortunately, a misconception. Human and vampires cannot have children. However, if certain criteria are met and with a small amount of chance, it is possible for pregnancy to occur. It’s usually around this time or earlier that a majority miscarriages happen.” I was completely confused and she easily recognized that. She stepped to the side of my bed and touched my leg gently. “You and he are bonded?” I nodded, my throat tightening. “And he drank your blood? Probably multiple times?” Again, I nodded. “And with the assumption of pregnancy not being possible and also aware the STDs can’t be transferred cross-species, you had unprotected sex?” The air felt heavy and I saw Dr. Ji glance to my heart monitor. She looked ready to stop.
My voice cracked. “Please don’t treat me like I’m weak.”
“I wouldn’t dare. The fact that you’ve dealt with the symptoms for over a week is enough to show how strong you are. And being a human enforcer with a vampire lover means you’re even stronger.” She sighed sympathetically. “Your romance unfortunately led to the perfect storm of circumstances. I can’t offer you any words except to say that I truly empathize with you.” And I saw in her eyes the memory of her pain. She did understand. I didn’t know I had tears left to cry until they started down my cheeks again.
I let go of Granny’s and Meg’s hands to set touch my stomach. My hands settled flat and I realized it was my second time to lose a baby. “God hates me,” I whispered.
“No, he doesn’t,” Meg tried to encourage me.
“Yes, he does. Why else would he make me go through this twice?! I lost the ones I loved and I lost the life growing inside of me—twice! That’s not a coincidence, it’s a sign.”
“No matter if you had the most perfect, fertile womb in the world,” Dr. Ji cut in, “nothing could have changed the outcome. When the baby starts to develop its own blood, the genes from the human side would tell it to produce one thing while the genes from the vampiric side would tell it to produce another. The blood types aren’t at all compatible. There can never be a baby born from a human and vampire relationship.” I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but her words didn’t change how I felt.
Turned to my side and curled up, silent tears still rolling down my face. Meg climbed onto the bed behind me while Granny talked to the doctor about medications I would need to take for the next couple weeks. Apparently my illness, in addition to the miscarriage itself, was from the baby’s blood actually mixing in my system. With the blood type obviously not being compatible, my body was producing antibodies even while the foreign blood attacked my body. I needed medications to ensure no further complications. But I only listened, offering no response to questions. Meg and Granny answered for me.
More than at any other time, I wished Namjoon was there with me right then. He would hold me just the right way and tell me the exact words I needed to hear. He would kiss me softly, reassuring me that everything would be okay. He would probably be crying with me. I wanted to hear his voice so badly.
At the end of the day, the doctor said I was stable enough to go home with strict orders for bedrest. Granny stayed long enough to make sure I was okay before I told her to go home. She couldn’t afford to lose any more days at the restaurant even though she insisted she was fine. Meg kept an eye on me until she needed to head to bed. I told her she wasn’t allowed to miss any more shifts because of me and she reluctantly agreed. I spent the entire night staring at my phone, waging an internal battle over calling or not calling Namjoon. If Jin was right, Namjoon would be unable to make the first move, so it fell to me. And even if he told me to ‘fuck off’, at least I would hear his voice.
I didn’t sleep at all that night. In the morning, I waited for Meg to leave for work. Checking the time, I knew Namjoon should’ve been up by then. Taking in a few calming breaths, I finally called him. It rang and rang. I was as fearful of him picking up as I was of him not picking up. Finally the click of the phone being answered.
I couldn’t help my eagerness to hear his voice. “N—“
“Hello?” a woman’s voice rasped, obviously having just been woken up. I felt like dying.
“S-Sorry. W-Wrong number.” And then I hung up. There were no more tears for me to shed. I curled up in my bed and stayed without moving the entire day. The guys were wrong, Namjoon wasn’t torn up about me, he’d already moved on. He already had someone else in his bed, the bed that the two of us had shared. Even if she was just a ‘distraction’, I wouldn’t go back to that. There was nothing more to be done. It was truly and ultimately over.
Meg came home. She kneeled at my bedside when she saw my state. I hated being such a burden to her, but Granny was right, Meg did love me and I knew I needed to lean on her just one last time. When she saw the phone in my hand, she immediately went into a rage asking what ‘that bastard’ had done now. I just told her he’d moved on and begged her to leave it alone. She stayed in my room that night until she had to leave for work the next day.
I waited for a few more days until Dr. Ji finally cleared me to go back to work. I needed to bury myself in work so that I couldn’t think of anything else. I felt like I was rotting away. I got back to work just in time. A breakthrough in the case meant that everyone on both the human and vampire enforcer side was preparing for a mass raid. The vampire enforcers would take care of the Draculs and the human enforcers would take care of the Supremes. There was no way I couldn’t be a part of it. I ate better than I’d eaten in weeks and exercised to get my strength back up. Everything else, everything with Namjoon, with my miscarriage, was all shoved to the back of my brain. I couldn’t afford a distraction. I knew Dr. Ji wouldn’t like me taking part in something so dangerous so soon, so I didn’t tell her.
The day before the raid, I prepared a few things. While we were hoping for a smooth operation, we all knew that wasn’t likely. Intelligence had a way of slipping through the cracks, sometimes someone got wind of plans, and always, there was the chance of someone dying.
So I called Granny and talked to her for a while just to check up on her. I wrote a letter for Namjoon simply telling him that I’d never once considered our relationship a game and that I truly had loved him. I set it on the dresser in case someone came to clean up my things in the event of my not making it out alive. I messaged Yoongi telling him that I was sorry for disappointing him and, unsurprisingly, didn’t get a response.
Some of us equalist enforcers who were off shift got together at Mark’s place because it was big enough for us. But we limited it to only one drink per person to make sure nothing would be screwed up the night of the raid. There was me, Meg, Yukiko, JB, Jinyoung, Jackson, Rebecca, and a couple others. The rest had shifts. We had as much fun as we could knowing it could be our last night with all of us together. Jackson jokingly, or perhaps not-so-jokingly, asked if I wanted him to keep me company for the rest of the night. I chuckled and kissed him on the cheek, ‘thanking’ him for the offer.
Meg and I went back to her place. If it really was going to be my last night, Namjoon would be the only one I wanted in my head. I wished I could just turn up at his place, but I wouldn’t do that. Instead, I curled up in my bed with his shirt that only barely held his scent anymore and slipped the ruby necklace back on. He may not love me anymore, but I still, unfortunately and for all my trying, am crazy about him. The cravings had never lessened, but the medication for my miscarriage actually seemed to help keep it at bay. I flipped through some pictures I had on my phone of the two of us and again listened to the voicemails he’d left. I fell asleep and my dreams were miraculously full of the best memories I had of Namjoon and me together.
The Night of the Raid, 10 Minutes After It Started
I held my gun tightly, trying to not shake from the pain in my leg. Thank God it was a through and through. I looked next to me and immediately looked away. If I looked at her any more I might not be able to concentrate and if I lost my concentration, I’d be dead too. I gave one last look to Meg’s body, her eyes staring off into a place that couldn’t be seen this side of life. I had dragged her to cover, but it had been too late. I was devastated and I was furious; some bastard had betrayed us and told them what we were planning. It’s why they were so well-prepared. It’s why my best friend was lying dead next to me. I looked across the warehouse to the stack of metal shelves and boxes Mark and Jackson were taking cover behind.
The radio was chaos as others in other warehouses were met with the same preparedness. I wondered how many of my friends were dead already and how many more would die before the night was over.
So, this is probably the darkest chapter I've ever written and it wasn't planned. At least, not for all of it to happen at once, but it kind of wrote itself that way. I decided not to go into details of the raid for obvious reasons.
We're getting pretty close to the end of this story and I only have one other bonus chapter planned. I'll try to put it out on Friday since I won't have time tomorrow. Too bad it's such a long time to lighten the mood.
Anyhow, I'm rambling. Time for me to sleep. Thank you for reading and hope to see you all next time in case I didn't scare you away.
Please feel free to leave any feedback or constructive criticism either on here or messaging me. I'm always looking to improve.
Also, I'm uploading all my old stories, with some (sometimes major) editing, onto Wattpad in case anyone is interested or uses it. My username is the same. Thanks in advance for your support!