I sat beside the window of my room and seeing Jiyong below at the garden. I want to run to him, and hold him tight into my arms. I want him back, I do. To make him smile and laugh again, but at the same time. I cant.
Depression is eating me out and I dont know how I could survive. Three days ago, was the worst time of my life. Hearing those words murder me .
(Three days ago)
I stand up and began to walk inside my doctors office. I've been feeling good lately. I know today I will receive dome good news.
"Hello Dr. Park"
"Hi Joseline. How you been feeling? "
"Im doing good. There's been worse"
I gave him a huge smile and he smiles back. Then he sat in front of me and he began to pull out his papers.
"So last week, we had a couple of tests. But unfortunately.. you're treatments are not working. "
"But.. but.. "
"Joseline, I have to be really honedt here, and it brakes my heart for me to tell you this. Your an incredible woman with a beautiful soul and it hurts me to do this"
I put my head down and just let my heart sank. I shake my head as giving the doctor permission to tell me ehat he has to say.
"Joseline... you only have five months to live"
I choked. I lost my balance but doctor grabbed me. *five.. months... no.. no.. no*
"No no no no"
I didnt realize that i was saying no out of loud, but I lost it. I began scream and cry like a child had his toy taken away. But my doctor held on tight to me. *I cant die, my babies ..my babies*
"Im sorry Joseline. Im so sorry"
My body collapsed and I just cried into Doc's arms. As time went by, I recollected myself and began to head home. I picked up the girls and went to the park with them. I sat down on a bench and began to watch the girls play.
*What am I gonna do? My girls.. they will have to live without me. No, I cant believe this.*
(End Of Memory)
I never thought that my life will come to this. I cant believe that I must leave my life behind. I look back outside and Jiyong was still there. I want to tell him everything, everything thats going on and have him protect me. But, I know deep down it wont ever happen.
I grabbed the phone and began to call Seungri.
"Joseline! Are you ok? "
"Im fine. Hows the girls? "
"They are sleeping. They ok. Just worried about you. "
"Im sorry Ri. Sorry you have to deal with this"
"its fine. The girls are not a bother to me, but what happened Jos? Whats going on? "
I want to tell him. I want to tell him of whats going on. Tell him that I am dying, but I cant. I know he will tell Jiyong, and I cant have that.
"Im ok. Just a slip. "
"Jos, you cant lie to me"
"Im serious. Im ok. But i gotta go. Im very sleepy ok"
I quickly hang up the phone. I took a couple breaths and just went to bed. I want to forget this day and forget everything.
I sat on that bench dumbfounded. Her worfs for some reason killed me becaue it was the truth. If i did wanted her, I would've kept trying. But I didn't. I failed completely and just end up with someone else. Someone who I thought I liked, but I dont.
Im not even married. I just said that we are because well, we are living together and I quess I was trying to hurt her. Now, I see that it did hurted her but I regret it. I want her better, I want to make her feel better but she hates me. I know she does.
*My daughters, my girls. They are my life. So its Jos. What to do? Fuck! *
I stand up and just began to just look around. As I walk through the garden, I spotted a red rose. I walked closer to it and began to enjoy the beauty of it. As I pick up the rose a small memory came upon me.
(9 years ago)
I walk inside the restaurant where this beautiful woman works. This time I was with Seungri.
"Yo bro, you sure she is here? "
"Yes lover boy. Look"
Seungri pointed at a direction and my head followed quickly. There she is. Smiling so bright and beautiful body. She capture my heart again. Her curves are on point and her smile. She then looked over my direction. I quickly turn around.
"Haha, easy tiger. She wont bite"
"Oh shut up! "
She approach to our table and she saw Seungri first.
"Seungri!! Oh my god how you been? "
"Im good. How are you? "
"Im great. Things are great"
As she is conversating with Seungri, all I can do is look at her. Sounds was off and all I can see is her beauty. Her smiles are just perfect.
"Hey Jos, this is my brother. You meet him before. "
She turns to me and then she smiles. I smile back but like a nerd. *Fuck my life*
"Yes. umm. Jiyong, right? "
She even remembers my name. *Ok Jiyong get it together. Your acting like a five a year old*
"So what can I get you boys? "
"Well I want the usual and Jiyong... what about you? "
Ri burst out laughing and she smirks. *Someone murder me please*
"I think there's something for you Jiyong. "
She walks away and grabbed our coffees and hand to us. As time went by, we had to go die to work. Before I left, she came to our table.
"Ill see you later Ri. And oh, Jiyong. "
I turn around and then she went to her pockets and she pulled out a hand made paper rose.
"You said you wanted me. So ..here ya go"
She handed me the rose and she quickly left. Once I arrived at my job, I began to look at the beauty of this rose. Then I noticed a small little paper rolled up as a leave. I spread it open and there I saw a number with a small message.
284-7383 A rose brings thousands messages, but there's only one. Be mine.
So corny but I love it. I called her instantly and we set up a date. Thats how we got closer, by a rose.
(End Of Memory)
A rose. A red rose made us one. We became closer ever since that day. We dated and dated and soon down the road, we became a couple. We was happy and laughing alot but, what happened? I took the rose and in my heart, I think its time. Its time to recover my red rose and make it mine once again.
*Jos, just wait for me. Im coming back for you and my family*
I went back home and decided to fix things properly. As I arrive inside, I began to look for my girlfriend. As I began to look around, I began to hear noices. As I approached to my room, in that moment I knew. She is cheating. I open the door and there I see a guy fucking her.
They quickly stopped as they both saw me. I look at her but deep down, I don't care anymore. As I began to think quickly, Jos is never this type of woman and this is who I ended up with.
"Get out! "
"I said to leave. And you can keep the hoe. I never liked her anyways."
"Dont call me Ji. And yes you heard correctly. I never liked you. I used you to forget Joseline, but never worked cuz you aint worth shit. Bitch"
I left the room and waiting at the living room for them to leave. But only the guy left and she was in the room crying. I went to the room and she was packing her stuff.
"Just take your clothes and here. This is an adress to a hotel. I made reservations for u to stay there for only four months. After that, its your problem. I will have the rest of your stuff packed to a storage palce and you will receive a call about which storage and ur code to get your stuff. Again, its only reserved and paid for four months, after its your problem."
"Dont even say a word. Dont ever call me or text me. Its done. The car will be returned to me. Including the jewelries. You wont be taking nothing but ur clothes and the stuff u came in with. You dont deserve nothing. "
"But they are mine"
"No they are not. At least im being nice enough to have u stay at a hotel. So leave. "
"Your going back with her huh"
"Yes. I am"
She gave me a dirty look and then left my house. I called my maid and told her to do a full house cleaning. Disposing her stuff to a storage.
This time, I aint letting my family go.
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