SNBlackRose
3 months ago500+ Views
The Ties That Bind C22- Pain
Sorry for the late card. I was up until 1am last night/this morning working on it after I got back to my hotel. I tried to post it and suddenly the Vingle app on my Kindle decided that the card didn't exist. I was too tired to try it again on my phone. But now I have a little time so I'm doing it again. It'll probably be not so pretty and the links won't work because my phone and Vingle don't get along well. I'll fix it as soon as I get back home.

Thank you for everyone who's reading, liking, clipping, following, and commenting.
Please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.

Disclaimer: The events are purely fictional. While BTS is real, I don't know them personally so this is just for fun. The original pictures do not belong to me, but the editing does.

Warning: May contain mild language, violence, and blood. This chapter is also a bit dark.

Beginning: Chapter 1
Bonus Previous: Chapter 21 Bonus 3
Previous: Chapter 21

Bonus Next: Chapter 22 Bonus 4
Next:

********************
Sam POV The Night of the Raid, 10 Minutes After It Started I held my gun tightly, trying to not shake from the pain in my leg. Thank God it was a through and through. I looked next to me and immediately looked away. If I looked at her any more I might not be able to concentrate and if I lost my concentration, I’d be dead. I gave one last look to Meg’s body, her eyes staring off into a place that couldn’t be seen this side of life. I had dragged her to cover, but it had been too late. I was devastated and I was furious; someone had betrayed us and told them what we were planning. It’s why they were so well-prepared. It’s why my best friend was lying dead next to me. I looked across the warehouse to the stack of metal shelves and boxes Mark and Jackson were taking cover behind.
The radio was chaos as others in other warehouses were met with the same preparedness. I wondered how many of my friends were dead already and how many more would die before the night was over. But there was no time to dwell on that. Every second lost was giving them the upperhand. I signaled to our group in the warehouse to change channels in order to cut out distractions. The first voice I heard was Yukiko’s.
“Masters?” That was Meg’s last name.
“G-Gone,” I responded. I heard an array of colorful curses. “We need to finish this now while we still have a chance.” They quickly agreed. “Just like we planned,” I told them. They gave their affirmatives and we moved out. End of the Raid It was over. The threat was neutralized. But at a high cost. Meg, Yukiko, Mark, and another were dead, Jackson and one more were critical and JB and I had both been injured enough to need medical attention. And that's what I'd only just heard. I started to hear reports from the others about other casualties and injuries. It wasn't good at all.
I tried insisting that others get attention first but the severe beating to the right side of my face and my gunshot seemed to convince the paramedics that I was a higher priority than I told them. I watched as Meg’s body was set out, ready to be zipped up in a body bag. I cried for her and for the loss her parents would be notified of in the morning. Taehyung would be devastated. And that reminded me of the promise I made to myself.
While I took a surprise strike to my face, my life didn’t pass before my eyes, but my regrets did. Namjoon. I promised myself that if I made it out, I would tell him how I felt in person. It wouldn’t change anything between us, but the thought of me dying and him thinking I hated him shook me to my core. Watching Yukiko die only cemented that in more. She was newly married and her husband would go through his worst nightmare. But at least he knew how much Yukiko loved him.
Daesung had died, but I knew how much he loved me as he made sure to remind me every day. Though Namjoon’s and my relationship was different, the thought was still the same. If he had any love left for me at all, would he hate himself for thinking that I hated him? The ride to the hospital was too loud from the sirens. I was glad that I had an experienced paramedic because he was calm the whole time he was assessing, addressing, and dressing my wounds. At the hospital, after making them confirm that I was in stable condition, I had them set me up in the corner to take care of the others. JB did the same when he arrived and we quietly sat in our beds next to each other. Our phones were in our lockers at the station so one of the staff brought over landlines for us to call our families and let them know we were okay before they saw the reports on TV.
It was the middle of the night, but I called Granny anyways. To my surprise, she picked up on the first ring. My name was the first thing to come out of her mouth.
“How did you know it was me?”
“I haven’t gone to bed, I was so worried about you.” She couldn’t have known what was going on because we weren’t allowed to tell people. It was the best thing to ensure that nothing accidently leaked to the wrong people. But it didn’t matter anyway.
“Why were you worried?”
“After you send a text like that and then turn off your phone—“
“What text?”
“Your friends came over, Seokjin I think was his name? He and his friends came looking for you. They showed me the message you sent.” Just before locking my phone in my locker, I messaged Jin and asked him to tell the others that I was sorry and I did care about them. Then I turned off my phone. I didn’t know why he went to Granny’s, they’d only met her once. “They were afraid you were going to do something stupid. Your friend Yoongi was completely frantic.” It appeared that something in him still cared. But I noticed she didn’t mention Namjoon. I guess he couldn’t be bothered. “And then you didn’t answer your phone. And Meg’s phone was off too.” I held the phone tighter at the mention of her name. “I know you said you wouldn’t… but I was so afraid you’d fallen into your depression again. And with Meg’s phone being off… I was worried sick.”
“No, Granny, it wasn’t anything like that…”
“Then… Did you have to do something dangerous?” I was quiet. “Work?”
“Yes, Granny.”
“Are you okay?” A sob threatened to break out. I’d cried so much over the last few weeks, I didn’t know it was possible for one person to have so many tears.
“Y-Yes,” I told her, but my voice betrayed me.
“Are you hurt?”
“A little.”
“You’re crying, aren’t you?” I wiped at the tears as if she could see them. “What happened?”
She let me take my time. “People died… Meg… Meg died…”
“Oh, oh, Sammy. Where are you?”
While waiting for Granny to come, we heard news about the vampire raid. They were met with the same preparedness and had almost equal casualties. Only a couple I knew personally had died and Ravi had been pretty severely wounded, but it looked like he would pull through.
Granny was already crying when she came in, but the second she saw my face, she broke out into full on tears. She held me tightly in a hug as she rocked back forth. Her words reflected her grief at seeing me injured but she also told me how sorry she was about Meg. JB’s girlfriend came shortly after. Jinyoung, Jackie, and Rebecca came to check in on us after finishing at the sight.
Everything after that was a whirlwind. My gunshot wound was stitched up and my facial wounds were properly dressed. My tip of my ear, which I hadn’t felt much pain from because of all the mess, had to be stitched up because it had been cut fairly severely when I took the blow to my head. I wanted to stay with the others, same as JB and the ones who had been cleared, but we were told to go home and rest as our presence would only cause unneeded congestion.
We knew it was bullshit and our buddies had just talked to the doctors to tell them to make us rest. Jackie and Jinyoung promised to stay and let us know of anything further, especially regarding Jackson. If he made it through, he would be devastated about his best friend’s death. And I would understand that pain.
Granny took me back to the station where I was finally able to grab my phone among other things. I received looks of pity and words of encouragement. I stood at Meg’s desk for ten minutes before someone finally made me leave knowing I wouldn’t have done it on my own. I felt bad for leaving Granny in the car like that. Once in the car, she insisted on taking me back to her house. I couldn’t go back to Meg’s, I would have a hard time even thinking about her for a long time, there was nothing at my apartment (though Granny didn’t know that), and I was too tired to protest. She gave me a change of clothes and I was so exhausted that I didn’t even have a chance to cry myself to sleep that night. Thankfully, I didn’t dream.
I woke up to the delicious smell of Granny’s cooking. A change of clothes waited for me on the dresser in the spare room I was in. My entire body ached every moment, whether or not I moved. I didn’t even need to be told to take the pain meds prescribed to me by the doctor. My broken cheek bone, the bullet wound, and my busted ear fought for pain dominance. Granny light-heartedly joked that I sounded older than her when hissed and groaned at all the pains. I tried not to think about Meg. It didn’t work so well.
A voicemail from work encouraged/ordered me to take the next week off from work to recover. I hated the idea of not being able to drown myself in work anymore. But it wouldn’t matter anyway because I wouldn’t be resting. One of our chat groups was full of messages about helping the families of our fallen comrades. I stared at the list of people in the chat, the names of those who would never join in our conversation again. Mark would never be on telling Jackson to shut up for the umpteenth time, Yukiko would never tease us with pictures of her wonderful marriage, Meg’s savage comments would never be on to make us all crack up… Granny was at my side before I realized I was crying again.
Once I got control again, I cleaned up and made a list of everything I needed to do until the enforcer department decided to hold the mass funeral. Meg’s family had to fly in from out of the country so there was nothing I could do until then, Yukiko’s large family was taking care of her arrangements, and Mark’s brother was taking care of things until their parents could drive in from the other side of the country. Everyone else seemed to be handling things. I dreaded what I needed to do. When I woke up, I had already decided to be a coward. I couldn’t talk to Namjoon. I had texted Jin the previous night as a way to answer all of the texts from the guys that I had received and told him I was fine. More texts had come in the morning with demands of needing to see me and talk to me. Even Yoongi had finally spoken to me again and it was as if nothing had transpired between us. He must have cared for me more than he was disgusted by me.
I wasn’t ready to talk to any of them yet. But I did have to go to Namjoon’s. I could no longer avoid him by wearing Meg’s clothes. The idea of wearing her clothes seemed sacrilegious. I needed at least a couple weeks’ worth of clothes including my uniforms, dress blues, and funeral clothes before I would finally ask Jin to help me get the rest. I was done pretending that things weren’t over between us. I thought I’d had a moment of clarity the night before, but it was only a moment of weak sentiment. While Namjoon wasn’t dead, he was just as gone to me as Meg and I needed to face it. The Namjoon I loved wasn’t there, or if he was, he wanted nothing to do with me. With my mind finally made up, I left.
One of Granny’s daughters helped put on the makeup enough to where, even though I would still look like a mess, I wouldn’t look like a monster. Of course, I didn’t plan to walk around much anyway. A cab took me to Namjoon’s and, after a multitude of stares, I took the elevator up. My heart sank with every change in floor number. By the time I arrived at Namjoon’s floor, I felt physically ill.
I almost turned back, but the stronger voice in my head reminded me that I needed to do this one way or the other. It was midmorning on Monday so I was sure that Namjoon would be at work, but I rang the bell to make sure. This wasn’t my place anymore and I couldn’t just walk in like it was. The seconds I waited felt like years. Just as I was about the press the bell again, I heard the door unlock. I really felt like throwing up from nervousness. It got worse when a pretty, young woman opened the door. I refused to cry anymore.
“Can I help you?” she asked as though she didn’t have a care in the world. It was so wrong.
“I’m here—” I choked. “Namjoon.”
Looking at my face once more, she finally smiled and opened the door, ushering me to come in. “Come in.” I felt dizzy. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be opening the door like she belonged here. This bitch… I shut up my thoughts. The poor girl was probably completely clueless about everything.
Imagine my surprise when I saw mine and Namjoon’s stupid DIY ribbon photo collage still tacked on the wall next to the entrance. It was ragged like the pictures had been crumpled and straightened a few times, but it was still there. This woman didn’t care that Namjoon had stuff like this around? The mirror was missing, which I found odd, but I continued anyway. Things became stranger when I saw the empty frame at the end of the hall where a full-length mirror should have been.
“I’m so glad you came after all,” the woman finally started talking again. “They said they couldn’t ask anyone on short notice, but it looks like luck is on my side today.” She ushered me further into the main room where I stopped in my tracks. “Sorry about the mess but he just did this half an hour ago. Again.” I could practically feel her eyes rolling from the tone of her voice. Her voice went quiet. “I mean, I feel bad for the guy, but he’s just too much. What guy acts like this?”
I finally turned back to look at her. At my confusion she gave me an ‘Aha’ look and walked in further. “They probably didn’t tell you, right? But really, it’s not as bad as it seems. He’s not a danger to anyone but himself and his furniture. You have nothing to worry about. Just try to make sure he eats at least a little something. When one of his friends comes to take over, they’ll care of his blood feeding so you don’t need to worry about it.”
Confused was not the right word for how I felt; I was lost. Though I still felt a little ill, it had changed to a different kind of ill. “What… happened to him?” I didn’t really need an answer to that though, it was apparent that he had taken our… incident, a lot harder than I’d thought. Holes in the walls, the couch upended into the wall, practically everything broken, and the overwhelming smell of strong alcohol, probably Namjoon’s go-to drink whiskey.
“No one said much, but I’m guessing a bad breakup. That’s the problem with vamps dating humans—not that there’s anything wrong with you or other humans,” she quickly corrected. “It’s just… with a vamp, you know what you’re getting into, you know when they love you. With humans… let’s just say that it’s really impossible to feel like you can completely trust them. There’s no way of telling where their true feelings lay. And without trust, every doubtable thing gives you more and more reason to not trust.” She chuckled half-heartedly. “That’s why I decided a long time ago to stick with dating my own kind. My advice to you as well, though any man who does that to a woman isn’t human either.”
It took a second. “N-No, it’s not—this was from work.”
“Really? I’m surprised they would let a human do a watch for someone that violent.” She shrugged. “But you don’t have to worry about that here. Like I said, Mr. Kim isn’t a danger to anyone else. Just make sure there’s always alcohol on hand. His friends took his sleeping pills away so he switched it up.” A different kind of pain shot through my heart. “But anyway, there’s numbers on the fridge to call in case of emergency or even just a question. The fridge was stocked yesterday so just make a little extra of whatever you make to eat so that Mr. Kim can eat as well. If he decides to eat, of course.”
She walked around and started picking up her things. “You’re not likely to actually see him considering he’s passed out now, but sometimes he comes out to grab another bottle. TV is obviously out of service,” she indicated to the TV that was currently sporting a large hole in the middle, “and the couch is stuck in the wall so I would just chill at the table. WiFi password is on the fridge as well. One of his friends will be here around 6 to let you go. Here’s his phone.” She handed it to me. “His friends don’t want him to have it since he keeps breaking them. Thanks again for coming, my son’s sick and no one else could pick him up. I appreciate it.” And then she rushed to the door. “One more thing,” she called back, “his room is the only place you can’t go.” Then the door shut.
I was left alone with my scattered thoughts and even more scattered emotions. I was all the way along the range of ‘He’s insane, What the hell is wrong with him’ to ‘I hate him for making us both suffer’ to ‘I just want to wake him up, hold him, and tell him how much I still love him’. One other thing I realized at the woman’s words was that the woman who had answered his phone before could have just been watching Namjoon. But that would mean he’d been like this for weeks… Before I knew it, my feet had carried me to Namjoon’s bedroom door with my hand already resting on the knob. I leaned my forehead against the door and braced myself for what I might find on the other side.
With steady breaths, I opened the door. I wasn’t disappointed in my expectations. Glass littered the floor almost everywhere. The dresser’s vanity mirror was in shards all over the top of the dresser and the floor, the walk-in closet doors were open and only shards remained in the frames of the mirror. It didn’t take a psychologist to guess that he was self-hating, destroying anything that made him see himself after what he’d done. Shattered liquor bottles made up for the rest of the mess.
But Namjoon’s bed was neat. He was passed out on top of the covers, facing away from me. I walked through the minefield of glass to the other side of the bed, my side. What I saw broke down the last of my resolve to keep away from him, to be angry with him. His arms embraced a small pile of clothes, my clothes. They were so close to his face I could tell he’d been doing the same thing I had, except I’d only had the one shirt—he was reminding himself of my scent. Against my will, a few tears fell.
I sat on the edge of the bed to watch him, the purpose for my visit temporarily forgotten. It was the first time I’d seen him in something other than my pictures in weeks. His snoring was a little stronger, as it always was when he passed out after drinking. I found myself moving closer and closer. He was a heavy sleeper whenever alcohol was involved so I wasn’t too concerned about waking him. I lay down just on the other side of my clothes. My face and ear hurt badly, but I didn’t care. I had to study his face, make sure I didn’t forget a single detail. Though everything showed the pain he was in, I didn’t know if he regretted what he’d said and accused or if he just regretted losing what we’d had. His lack of any sort of communication towards me suggested the latter.
I watched him sleep for about five minutes, maybe ten, maybe longer. Who knew. All I knew was that it wouldn’t ever be enough time. I raised up to move away when he suddenly stirred, the snoring stopping and his eyes moving behind their eyelids. I panicked. Maybe if he was still messed up from the drinking, he would wake up for only a second before falling asleep again. I wouldn’t be able to move away fast enough so I instead lay back down and, even with pain, buried that side of my face in the fluffy pillow, closing my eyes quickly, hoping he would simply think he was hallucinating or dreaming.

**************
So, a lot to take in this chapter. I didn't want to go into details of the raid for obvious reasons, so I hope you'll forgive me on that. But anyway, some questions were answered and many more remain. It looks like there'll finally be a confrontation between the two. But even if there is, can it be solved? Can they forgive each other or even themselves? Guess we'll find out.

I hope to have time to post the next chapter in the next day or two, but we'll see how it goes. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope to see you again next time.

Please feel free to leave any feedback or constructive criticism either on here or messaging me. I'm always looking to improve.

Tag List

Dangerous Bitches

3 comments
😢😢😭😭
3 months ago·Reply
😭😭😭
3 months ago·Reply
@JaxomB @MaritessSison I'm sorry!! 😭😭😭😭😭
3 months ago·Reply
10
3
2