DISCLAIMER: I’M NOT TRAINED IN THE MEDICAL FIELD SO I DON’T KNOW IF ANYTHING IN THIS IS ACCURATE. I COULDN’T FIND ANYTHING THAT COULD HELP ME FROM A WRITING STANDPOINT. SO LET’S PRETEND THAT I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT AND IGNORE THE THINGS I’M CLEARLY BULLSHITTING.
I fought against the growing pain in my head as I sat on the couch, waiting for my boyfriend to finally get home from practice. He told me that once it ended, we would spend some time together. Namjoon texted me a couple hours ago saying that practice was running late, apparently Hoseok had insisted that something wasn’t right with the choreography. It’s been at least 3 hours since practice was supposed to be over. I understood that the choreography needed to be perfect for the fans, but I just wished that Hoseok would rest. He always pushes himself to get better when he’s already perfect.
Finally my phone vibrated as Namjoon texted me that practice was finally over. Next it vibrated as Hoseok texted me, “Hey jagi~ I’m not going to be able to come over tonight. Practice ran late and we have an event tomorrow really early so it’s be easier for me to stay at the dorm tonight. I’m sorry! I promise I’ll spend as much time with you as you want tomorrow!”
I rolled my eyes and refused to answer as I looked back through the messages of the last month that all said basically the same thing. I made my way to the bedroom, my head throbbing in pain. Over the last couple days, I’ve had a horrible headache that wouldn’t go away. Jin was the only one that noticed my discomfort as I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my forehead while helping him cook at their dorm.
“You okay?” He asked, his voice talking the caring older brother tone he had given me for as long as I’ve known him.
“I’m fine.” I had promised.
It got worse today. I had thought about going to the doctors, but I’ve been so busy with a full work schedule. All I could do was keep all electronics on the lowest setting so they weren’t too bright. As I rounded the corner to the bedroom, the pain got worse and I yelped, stumbling against the wall and sliding down. Something was definitely wrong. Whimpering, I pulled out my phone and speed dialed Jin.
“Hey, what’s up? Come to complain about Hoseok? Because I’d like to do the same to you.”
“No, no. Something’s wrong. I need to go to the hospital.”
“What’s wrong?” He asked, I could hear keys jingling.
“I don’t know. Please hurry.” I said, crumpling into a ball.
“Okay I’m on my way. Hold on.” He hung up. The pain was getting worse every second that went by. A sudden wave of nausea hit me and I crawled my way to the bathroom before losing consciousness.
Jin and Hoseok burst through the apartment door, looking everywhere. I slowly regained consciousness.
“Jagi!” I heard Hoseok yell.
“Here..” I whispered, though he couldn’t hear me.
“She has to be here, calm down Hoseok.”
“I can’t calm down!” He yelled. I lost consciousness again. This time when I came back, the boys were kneeling beside me, looking terrified. I tried to talk to them, but couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get my mouth to move. So I just laid there and stared at them. “J-jagi can you hear me?”
“We need to get her to the hospital. She’s so pale.” Jin said.
“S-should we get an ambulance? I mean..is it okay to move her? We don’t know what’s wrong.”
“That’s true. I’ll call one.” Jin said, pulling out his phone. As he was talking on the phone, Hoseok kept trying to get me to respond to him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even move my hand. Suddenly my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
“Hyung!” Hoseok yelled. A high pitched ring drowned them out. I was honestly so terrified. What was happening? And why was it happening now? In front of Hoseok? I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want him to be worried and stressed out.
When I came to, I was in the ambulance. Hoseok was staring at me, tears running down his face as the EMT hurried around the ambulance attaching random things to me. Once they both noticed that I was conscious, they both started talking to me.
“Hey sweetie. I don’t want to scare you, but you need to try your best to stay awake, okay? It could be very dangerous if you fall asleep.” She smiled at me. I slowly nodded, best I could with the oxygen mask on. “Ok good. Your boyfriend is quite worried. We shouldn’t worry him more, right?” She gestured to Hoseok as she shined a light in my eyes. After that she started yelling medical jargon to the driver. Hoseok looked so scared.
“Are you okay?” He asked. I nodded. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve just come over.” He looked down at his hands as more tears fell down his face. “Maybe I could’ve helped you.”
Soon after we arrived at the hospital. The EMT started doing her thing as the doctors and nurses helped take the gurney out of the ambulance then put me on a hospital bed before rolling me into the hospital. Hoseok tried to keep up as best they could but they eventually made him sit in the emergency room as Jin walked through the door and joined him, phone up to his ear as he was talking to someone. The doctors ran a couple tests then one came up to me.
“Hello dear. So you have an aneurysm that is very close to bursting. If it bursts that could be extremely fatal. It appears that when your boyfriend got to your house, you had a seizure. This is a very bad sign.” He continued to talk about what needs to be done. Eventually we decided on trying what they could to control the aneurysm and to hope for the best. He said that operating could be dangerous as well, but it may be the best shot.
Hoseok, Jin, and my parents walked into the room as the doctor debriefed them about what was going to happen. Jin had his arm around Hoseok’s shoulders, trying to comfort him as he cried. Meanwhile my mom was sobbing into my dad’s chest.
“It may be best to say your goodbyes. Just in case.” The doctor said, bowing and walking out. Just with the word “goodbye” my heart tightened as I stared at my family. I couldn’t talk to them. The aneurysm was affecting my speech. I couldn’t tell them I love them one last time, in case the worst does happen. The last time they’ll have seen me alive would be lying in a hospital bed with machines, an oxygen mask covering my mouth, and IVs hooked to me, unable to talk.
My parents went first, my mom holding my hand tightly and petting my head, talking about how much she loves me. My dad telling me I’m his strong baby girl and I can make it through this. They kissed me on the forehead, told me they loved me, and then walked out. I could still hear my mom’s sobs as she walked down the hall.
Jin and Hoseok walked over and Hoseok tightly held my hand and forced a smile. He was trying to be strong. He was trying to be my sunshine, like he always is. But I could see that he was absolutely terrified this was going to be the last that he saw me. I pulled my hand out of his and laid his flat with the palm facing up. Using my index finger I wrote “I won’t give up. I love you.” To which he dropped his head and small sobs escaped him.
“I’m sorry to intrude, but we need to do the surgery as soon as possible.” The doctor came in and rushed the boys’ goodbyes. Eventually, I was moved into an operation room and put under anesthesia. As I drifted to sleep, I kept repeating to myself that I have to survive. At least for Hoseok. He wouldn’t smile anymore if I were gone, and I can’t have my sunshine sad.
I was out a few days after the surgery. Apparently my heart had stopped at one point. Luckily, it happened when Hoseok was in the cafeteria and it had been solved by the time he got back. I don’t know how he’d be able to cope with seeing that. When I eventually did wake up, no one was in the room. I brought a hand up to my head to feel a bandage wrapped around it.
The door opened to reveal my handsome boyfriend, his teeth holding the edge of a coffee cup as his arms were full of snacks and a bouquet of flowers. I looked over to see wilted flowers in a vase. Smirking, I looked back at the boy as he struggled to get the door closed with his foot. When he finally got it to close, he did a small victory dance then walked over to the chair beside my bed, setting the snacks down on the table. Then, he started to replace the old flowers with the new ones, glancing over at me. Taking a double take his face erupted in the brightest smile I’ve seen in a long time.
“You’re awake!” He exclaimed. An evil thought came into my head…this is too good an opportunity to pass up.
“Who are you?”
“…What?” Tears started forming in his eyes.
“Because my Hoseok isn’t as gorgeous of an angel as you are.” I said, smiling.
“Jagi!! Don’t do that to me!” He yelled, pouting as he sat down in the chair. I laughed at him.
“I’m sorry.” I sputtered through the laughter.
“…..Am I really that handsome?” He asked.
“More handsome that Jin Hyung?”
“Oh most definitely.”
“Yes!” He fist bumped the air, making me laugh again. “I missed your laugh.”
“I missed you.” I said as he came over and laid a sweet kiss on my lips. The surgery was a success, but people who have had an aneurysm are at risk of having another, so my doctor told me to be very wary and to take care of my health. Which I was planning on doing anyway. I don’t want to put my family through that again. Never.
A/N: man oh man that turned out worse that I wanted it to hahaha sorry guys.
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