Here's an old old old story I wrote years ago...
That ending though, confuses even me
It took me some time to climb the stairs, I was in no hurry. There was time; time meant nothing at a time like this. Everything and nothing meant nothing. I never thought about it as an end but more as a crossing over. Leaping from one journey to another journey, my journey in this life had come and gone, I walked thru it and now it was time to go.
As I came out from the stairwell and stepped onto the top parking lot of the six story parking garage, the sun was shining and the snow was falling from the scattered clouds rolling overhead. The snowflakes swirled and fluttered to the ground as if Mother Nature herself was gently blowing them from off her hands.
I walked to the edge and looked over the little city down below. I thought how appropriate to do it here. My mother was in the emergency room next door for some pains she was having in her stomach. I was waiting in the car and then I felt an impulse to come here, like something was pulling me. Ever since the day I got that letter back, marked ‘addressee-deceased’, I have not felt the same. A part of my soul was gone, my life had not been what it should have been, at least I had seen him long ago, at least I got to fall in love with him but now what is there left.
I could feel the snow hitting my face and then melt away. I looked to the sky and in one easy move; I hoisted myself up onto the wall. I stood there, watching the snowflakes swirl around me. I licked my lips and smiled as I heard the most beautiful voice, ‘hurry’ it said.
I felt my heels lift off the cement, my body falling forward. The wind swept up, pulling my hair back. I felt nothing, not even the cold air rushing past me.
Everything was done, the girls were on their own now, it was a mission to make sure they were taken care of and so that’s what I had done, I took care of them, sacrificing my heart and my only love to do so. I was leaving nothing behind, except broken hearts but they have so much more to live for.
I close my eyes as the ground gets closer.
Behind my closed eyes, I could see green trees, green grass, and I could smell the scent of sea on the wind. I heard the sound of metal, the sound of grinding metal, the sound of a torch cutting thru metal. Then I heard music, all to familiar music playing through the trees, I ran down the sidewalk, heading for the north door of the dorm. As I came around the corner, I seen all my old friends, they were standing around how they used to and my love, my first love, standing against the door, smiling at me. As I came walking up to him, he was as young as the last time I had seen him, and in the glass door behind him, I could see myself as I had looked all those years ago. Forever young.
My eyes were open now, I stare up at a blue sky and it had stopped snowing. I lay there thinking, I’m still alive, body broken to pieces, probably never walk again. The snow stopped briefly as someone leans over me, looking down at me.
“What took you so long?” he asks. He gets down on his knees beside me and kisses my forehead and then my lips; I blink as if his kiss had brought me to life.
It’s my face of heaven, the beautiful one, the most precious one, the perfect one, my heart, my soul and he’s real. I could feel his lips on mine and his breath against my cheek. I felt the warmth of his body radiate against mine.
He hits my arm, “Get up, we have to go.” He says, jumping to his feet, as if we had just seen other, as if a whole two decades had not passed us by.
I sit up and watch him walk down the snow covered knoll. He turns around; he’s smoking a cigarette as always with his other hand in his pocket. His black biker jacket as always with the exception of the black wings protruding from his back. He looked the same. A memory flashed through like a flash from a camera. It was morning, I was looking back down the sidewalk at who my friend was yelling at. Like a god, an angel, he came walking out of blinding morning sun. His long black hair sweeping down the side of his head. He looks up momentarily and smiles. That smile....
He laughs out loud, "Really? is that how you saw me?" he flicks his cigarette off to the side, “Hurry” he says, it’s the voice from before.
I look down at my feet, one shoe is gone, and I look around, “Wait, my shoe is gone.” I say to him.
“Ahhh fuck your shoe.” He says, “Just come on.”
So I get up and as I’m walking toward him, I take my sock off and drop it, then I reach down and untie my other shoe, hopping on one barefoot and as soon as it comes off, I toss it to the side, then off my other sock came and I throw that behind me. He smiles looking down at my feet.
“Always barefoot” he says.
“What can I say and you told me to hurry.” I say to him shrugging my shoulders.
He takes his hand out of his pocket and holds it out to me, I slip my hand into his, our fingers interlacing; my finger, his finger, my finger, his finger, my finger, his finger, my finger, his finger and then our thumbs overlapping.
He tightens his grip and then kisses the back of my hand.
“Don’t let go this time or we’ll get separated, like last time. I had to search five… fourteen different dimensions looking for you before I found you in that last one.” He says.
I nod my head and wrap my other hand around his and then he kisses my hand again. He reaches up and touches my cheek and then kisses me on the mouth, his lips taste sweet.
“You said for all eternity and eternity isn’t over by a long shot.” He said smiling.
It was then the most amazing thing happen. My mind quickly ran thru a series of images, all going back to the beginning of time. I closed my eyes as I watched each one flash in and out of my head. We had loved each other and followed the other throughout hundreds of life times.
I felt his finger hit my chin and I open my eyes. There was a bright light opening like a window curtain, not far from where we stood.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
“I’m always ready when I’m with you.” I said to him, he smiled and turned away but I pulled him back and turned him around to face me, “I missed you.” I felt a single tear, drop down from my eye. He put both his hands on my face and kissed me deeply and passionately. I felt my heart mending and melting to his in that moment; I knew I had finally found my way back to him. He is forever mine and I’m forever his, he knew this the moment we met in the other life, the last life, that’s why he would stare at me with patience and understanding. Hoping I would come around to realize we belonged together.
“Don’t let go.” He said, he commanded.
“I won’t” I said as he took my hand and again I double wrapped my other hand around his.
“okay.” He said and we headed for the light. I held on tightly as the light engulfed us.
We had somehow got separated in the end, in the void. We were reborn into different lives but had found each other again, like we did before, like we always did. But I sensed something in the void, something that didn’t want us together, and it had followed us to this world. Right before we chose our paths for this life, it came and tore us apart. It flung me across the void and I could hear him screaming my name but it was too late. So instead of us spending this mortal life together, that thing interceded and pushed our lives apart.
I have come to believe that somewhere along the way someone cursed us in one of those previous lives. A curse that will try to follow us for eternity, but I believe as long he knows I love him and that he loves me, it will never come between us, nothing not even a curse is going to destroy our love. Perhaps on the other side, we will demolish what ever this curse is, come back and live happily, there is nothing like living a mortal life with all its pleasures.
I hear him whispering for me to come find him, to hurry…he waits for me.