Who: Jung Kiseok x Reader What: Angst, smut Story: I was always told to be careful around men. Even my own instincts told me not to trust him. I never did...but I did get addicted to him. Y/n's POV Hyun Jung got a job as a waitress somewhere at least a month after she moved in. Her parents offered to hire her at their businesses but she'd have to go through the hiring process and she knew she'd be treated like everyone else. She considered the offer but I don't know if she ever went through with it. There was an office job she was looking at in hopes of getting something that she could still do when she was too pregnant to do physical labor like carrying trays and what not. I would've tried to help her in my department but the place I worked was soul sucking. God I hated it there but it paid my bills and I had been so distracted with Kiseok that I had stopped looking for a new job. Hyun Jung was off at work and I was putting my make up on for an early date with Seonghwa before we both had to work I was hoping plans wouldn't fall through, I was really looking forward to seeing him. We hadn't seen each other in the past few days because work was really busy for the both of us. It was passing the Christmas and New Year Holiday so things piled on and we had some over time work to get done. Honestly, the last time we saw each other in person was when we met up at his holiday party at his job. I got to meet the famous Park Jaebeom. He was a good looking guy but I preferred Seonghwa to him. We had some egg nog and Harry came with us too. Seonghwa brought us both as his guests. It was a lot of fun and it seemed that him and Jay had gotten along with each other again. It was reassuring when it came to thinking about me and Hyun Jung. She came home from long nights and she was exhausted. We shared the same bed but we kept our covers separate. It was like when we used to have sleep overs and we stayed up all night doing each others nails or doing spa packages. Those days were a lot of fun, we laughed a lot with each other and we just talked but we were both too tired to do either of those things now, considering the work we're putting in. I doubt we'd be able to stay up like that for a while. I was still unaware if she told Kiseok and I didn't want to ask at the risk of pulling myself deeper into an already bad situation. We were building our relationship back up but very slowly it was honestly kind of stagnant at this point. It didn't feel like much was moving when it came to us. A knock on my door came just as I was finishing up my make up and I figured it had to be Seonghwa. I hurried over to it and opened it up with a big smile only to find an even bigger surprise. "How's my baby!" My mother practically squealed while bursting through the door. She wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed me tightly, while my Appa stepped in quietly. He hadn't closed the door yet he was watching my mom bear hug me to death. I was completely confused, despite how happy momma was to see me. "Appa, Momma what are you doing here?" I asked confused. "That's how you greet us? It's been so long since I've seen you or heard from you-" "Momma we talked the other day." I said. She continued on in her dramatic banter. "How can my ONLY daughter be so unkind to me. She's the ONLY little girl I have and she's not even happy to see me. She doesn't call or come visit." "Momma I'm a grown woman I have a life now and stop emphasizing "only" like I'm an only child. You have six addition sons two of whom are in prison and YOU don't even see." I poked back at her. She stuck her hands on her hips with a pout. "Why should I grace them with my presence? We didn't raise them to be criminals-" "No momma you raised us to be law abiding citizens of society but Royce never liked your rules and you know Jace looked up to Royce so much he'd follow him." I plopped down on my couch with a sigh and my mother sat in the chair adjacent from me. I watched my father walk over, he'd been quiet since they showed up. Momma probably talked his ear off on the way over, I wouldn't put it past her. By now, after all these years he knew when to speak and when not to. By the fact that he hadn't even acknowledged me yet I'd say my mother was about to do the most. "So it seems like you're going to a therapist now, what's that about?" She asked. There was no segway into the question just straight blunt force, just like momma. I could feel a headache coming in already and Seonghwa would be here soon. I really didn't feel like introducing them. Momma had the tendency to be over bearing when it came to her first impressions. She complained about not knowing alot of my friends but that was because she'd turned most of them off. They found it better to just gravitate away from me just so they didn't have to deal with her. Beliefs were one thing, me and momma were close when it came to that. That could be one of the biggest reason I felt so used up by Kiseok. She was the one to tell me to never give up my first time to someone who didn't deserve it. In an effort to live my own way, I had done the exact opposite and now it was like she was proven right. Harry would tell me it wasn't bad to not be a virgin anymore, it wasn't the end of the world but when it came to my mother- it was like when Vesuvius erupted on Pompeii. She was strict in her beliefs, shed convinced me all my life if I gave it to someone who didn't deserve it that I would regret it. I would hate myself and I would be nothing. For so long, I had felt that way even my therapist had broken down, that how I felt was just a reflection of training I received as a child. I wasn't even paying attention. I didn't even think that it would get to me like that but I suppose the subconscious is more powerful than we realize. I don't blame momma for it, she was raised the same way so she taught how she was raised. For the most part, momma was a fine, caring and loving woman. She looked out for us, she hugged us almost every day and told us she loved us every chance she got. She and Appa fed us, they read us bed time stories, they took us to fairs and museums. Momma always looked forward to doing things with us. She tells us how she cried when each on of my brothers, and eventually me, went off to school. She swore the reason she continued to get pregnant was just so she'd have someone at home with her. It was a joke her and Appa had but on some level I really felt it was true. The more we started to move on and break apart from each other, the more lonely Momma seemed. She was always very stern but loving, as we grew up the two balanced themselves out but when Rene, my eldest brother, moved out her balance seemed to tip. She became a little more stern. Rene was her first son and someone she's considered her first love outside of our father. All of us knew she loved him the best but like I said, she was so balanced in how she raised us none of us ever cared. We all felt equally loved. Rene moved out because he didn't want to follow her rules anymore. He wanted to live life his own way. That made momma annoyed, she felt like he had disrespected her and her teachings because he was going out "exploring" and he was very heavily going against what momma taught us. Momma cracked down on us a little harder and then at eighteen Adam left to live with Rene. They ended up having a falling out about two years later and Adam moved far away. With each brother that left, the more Momma seemed lonely but more hell bent on keeping family close. I had always stuck close to momma and I hadn't understood what my brothers hated about her rules so much. Royce was the third eldest and he was always into trouble since he was young. The more she cracked down on him the more he rebelled. Jason and Todd were twins, the next oldest, and they did just about everything together. Jace was the youngest of the brothers and he looked up to Royce so much, especially when he was the last brother standing when it came to big age gaps. Royce could do no wrong in his eyes, even when he decided to rob a bank for shits and giggles. They were both serving two counts of armed robbery in prison. I stayed by momma through everything I could endure; it wasn't until I was in my early twenties I broke off from her. It wasn't because she was over bearing it was because I thought it was time for me to be on my own. I thought I could do it and for the most part I had been living fine. Momma got really overbearing after her last child had left her and anytime she talked to me it was always some over dramatic display. I hadn't realized how she was until I had left her. My brothers were right. Appa, poor Appa endured all her fits about how her children didn't love her or were disrespectful to go against her teachings. He'd be her shoulder when she broke her own heart thinking about how "her children didn't love her". That was never the case, at least on my end, I had always loved her I always will but she could be too much to deal with at times. She had pressured me into seeing a doctor just because Appa had kidney stones and they had finally passed. He was fine, it was only in that moment that she'd calmed down some but now that he was okay she was back at it again. I think what she wanted and needed was someone to take care of. She always loved being busy and taking care of children. She probably wanted grandkids of her own. I didn't know if any of my brothers were married let alone had kids. A lot of the brothers fell out of contact after leaving the house and aside from when they felt obligated to protect me from bullies or boys we were never really close enough for me to want to be in their lives. If I ever told my mother this she'd condemn me. Family was family, I couldn't erase blood but I didn't see the point in carrying about grown men that didn't care much about me. I was already having an issue with that when it came to Kiseok. I pinched the bridge of my nose and said, "Yes Momma I am and I don't want to talk about it." "Why not?" She asked. "Honey let her be." Appa said. "Aren't you curious? Has something happened honey, you can tell us." "Momma it's nothing to worry about. I'm doing well for myself. Please don't make such a fuss over me." I begged. She looked at me suspiciously. Appa finally turned to me and leaned over to give me a hug. I gave him a big smile along with a big hug. I could always count on Appa keeping momma at bay when she got to be too much. They were both equally strict but Appa was a little more laid back compared to momma. "How are you really?" He asked me. I sighed softly and smiled, "I'm fine honestly." "Good I'm very glad." "Y/n are you here?" A male voice called from my door. Oh no, Seonghwa momma's gonna be all over you. "Who's that?" Momma asked "Um- y-yeah I'm in the living room." I said standing up. Seonghwa had walked past the wall and smiled when he saw me. I walked over to him and gave him a side hug, he pecked me on the cheek and looked at my parents. "Hello there." Seonghwa waved. He looked at me wondering and I looked at him apologetically. "How did you get in here young man?" Momma asked. I sighed, "Momma isn't it obvious? He's got a key." I said. "Why?" "Momma he's my boyfriend we exchanged keys a while ago." I said exasperated. Seonghwa chuckled and walked deeper into the living room. He bowed to my father and my mother. He took her hand in his politely introducing himself to them both and for a brief shinning moment I felt so proud. Seonghwa was someone I didn't have much fear showing off to my parents. If this had been Kiseok I would've been so distressed, more about what he could reveal to them rather than how they'd act. My parents shaped a big part of me they taught me well but there was always some underlying fear that one day I'd disappoint them. I didn't like making mistakes because they would notice them first. Mom would be so disappointed in me and she'd yell or run a guilt trip for hours. My father did this thing, I remember when he did it to Royce when he first got arrested, Appa was all about honor and when Royce and Jace were arrested he felt they had dishonored themselves and the family. He simply looked them in the eyes with a hard expression but the pain, anger and disappoint in his eyes were so painfully clear that he didn't have to voice any of it. He pressed his lips, shook his head and turned away. Something in me made me feel like that was him saying they weren't his sons anymore. If Appa ever gave me such a look I think I'd stop breathing all together. "Actually me and Y/n were going to go out to eat breakfast. I won't be able to be with her tonight so we decided to go out this morning." Seonghwa said with a gentle smile to my mother. While he was talking to her, I was freaking out in my mind. "Breakfast isn't much of a date." Momma said. "Momma please. I suggested it. I haven't seen him in a while, I'd take any time with him that I can get." I said sitting next to Seonghwa. "Well you don't need to -" "I think it's sweet. Seonghwa you seem like a fitting young man for Y/n." Appa said. I smiled so proudly it was like I was blushing. My eyes went into a smile, they always did when I smiled really big. I felt Seonghwa's arm wrap around my shoulder and he kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him happily and he chuckled. "You should join us for breakfast " Seonghwa offered. My eyes opened wide, "Seonghwa you down have to do that." I said carefully. Seonghwa didn't even waiver under my mother's kind of pressure. When she vets, she gets aggressive and she puts the pressure on. Seonghwa seemed ready for that. He didn't mind it. I felt lucky that he liked me enough to want to put up with it. "I thought you liked Harry, what happened to that?" Momma asked. "Momma I never liked Harry in that way. He's my best friend." I said. "The way you talked about him all the time how was I supposed to know?" Momma said. Seonghwa chuckled, "At first I thought the same, Harry talks about her alot. He thinks highly of her, as do I. I'm just confident that she enjoys my company a little more than Harry's." I stifled a laugh, the way he smoothly came back at my mother who was clearly trying to see if she could threaten his placement in my life. She didn't know Seonghwa, competition was nothing to him. He was confident, not stuck up but confident in how I felt for him. I had been doing so much better with him in my life. I just kept reminding myself I didn't need to be addicted to him. I wanted to give him affection and treat him as well as he treated me. There were a few times I became insecure in my placement in his life. I was concerned that I might lose him some how and when a pretty girl at his holiday party was chatting him up I walked out onto the terrace of the building just to calm myself down. I started freaking out, thinking that I was used again and he may be doing that in my face because he could get away with it. He was always so calm, cool and collected but he quickly calmed me that night. He reassured me she was only a Co-worker and I felt even more embarrassed when I saw her fiance. He didn't hold it against me. He found it sweet that I liked him enough to be affected but he also didn't want me comparing him to Kiseok. My therapist warned me of the same thing and sometimes she'd call me out on it, when I'd talk about Seonghwa. Kiseok hurt me really bad so it seemed like, even when I didn't want to or mean to, I compared Kiseok to Seonghwa. They started off the same to me in the beginning but it was very clear to me that they weren't the same now. "So how about it, we should get going before its too late." Seonghwa said smiling. "Sure we'll join you, it's been a while since I've had a good meal with my little girl." Appa smiled at me before pinching the top of my cheek. He often called my cheeks plums because they were plump at the top especially when I smiled. He said it went well with my face which I always adored hearing from Appa. His compliments were frank but flattering. He was often dense to how a person may emotionally respond to his words but at the same time the way he delivered them made it seem like he was perfectly aware. He wasn't brutal with his honesty but he was honest. Seonghwa and me headed out of my flat after Momma and Appa walked out the door. I locked the door behind me while saying, "You know she's going to grill you like fresh shrimp right?" "That sounds delicious actually." "Seonghwa." I whined playfully. He chuckled, "It's alright. I'm good with parents your father already likes me and from what I can tell your eomma just what's the best for you. She's not doing it to scare me off or to be rude or even to embarrass you. She's testing my merit. Believe in me." He placed a hand on my shoulder giving me eye contact and he smiled. I trusted him simply because of that smile. I stepped closer and cupped his face to give him a soft kiss and his hand left my shoulder to wrap around my waist and pulled me closer. His tongue slipped in my mouth making me offer him a soft moan as a reward. I loved kissing him. We hadn't slept together since that one night and I didn't really crave it so much as I used to with Kiseok. I think this was Seonghwa's way of detox. It helped us get to know each other better though, instead of just jumping into bed. This kiss was just so sweet a lot of them were; I wasn't ever sure if he wanted me. "Come on." He whispered in my lips before pulling me away. I nodded and followed behind him. We got to the little diner that we picked out as our favorite brunch place and we were all seated. It wasn't even twenty minutes in before my mother started to barrel down on Seonghwa and he dodged and hit every question so effortlessly he almost sounded trained in this kind of interrogation. I tried to sneak in some words to Appa and he would answer in soft responses so Momma didn't hear him. The woman was a fire cracker. I almost didn't have to worry until Momma asked, "Have you two been sleeping together?" I looked to momma both pale and appalled. "Momma." I scolded. "Okay, honey I think you've made your point." Appa said. "What's that reaction for? I just want to know." She said. "Enough." Appa said. She leaned forward as I was looking at Seonghwa completely embarrassed. He was just giving me this, it's going to be okay look and I only wished I could believe him. We were in a very uncomfortable position right now. "Y/n can you look at me and tell me you're a virgin." She asked. "Momma why does that even matter to you? What does that have to do with anything that's going on right now?" I asked upset. "You're getting defensive." She said. "Because you're asking personal, way out of line questions." "I'm out of line?" She cocked an eyebrow and straightened up. I sighed, I knew that tone and that posture. There was nothing good that would come from this. I could feel stress shoot through my body in a way that I just wanted to end things with Seonghwa to save him the trouble of my crazy mother. I could never live up to her expectations. Just because Appa was the first man that she had ever been with didn't mean that I had to be the same. "Momma, Appa had sex with women before meeting you, do you feel ashamed about that?" "That has nothing to do with what I'm asking you." She said. "It has everything to do with what you asked me. You over glorified virginity so much that even the thought of me having a boyfriend makes you go insane. You grill them like they committed some crime against humanity. What, did you want me to find some perfect angel sent from heaven to love me? I'm human momma I make mistakes every one does. Seonghwa has made them, I have made them but instead of focusing on the things I do right you harp on and over dramatize the things I do wrong." I said pissed. "Y/n it's okay, calm down." Seonghwa rubbed my arm. How was I supposed to calm down when I knew once I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore she was going to tell me how much I disappointed her. Inwardly, I knew I was trying to throw blame on her to over shadow the amount of shame I felt but I was also sick of being hounded on like I had to have every part of my life live up to her standards. I have always loved and respected my mother but good grief it wasn't until I left that I realized what my brothers were complaining about. The fact of the matter was, she had control over all of us, even Appa at times. Appa didn't mind letting her run things but when he put his foot down she listened, other than that rare occurrence, she ruled. It felt like now that she didn't have any control over our lives she was upset and didn't know what to do. She tried to push herself into my life because I was close to her but more than anything it was because I'd stopped talking to her a long time ago. I was trying to get sometime away and she'd just stopped by unannounced just to ruin a date with my boyfriend and add stress into my life. "Y/n just tell me." She pushed. "Honey drop it." Appa said. "Don't you want to know?" "If my daughter has been having sex? No, not particularly. I'd rather live my whole life being oblivious to the fact, she's our daughter." Appa said. He was getting stern in his voice talking to her. He was reaching his point where he wouldn't continue to watch us make a scene in public. She'd already gotten me upset and turned what could've been a sweet visit into something hostile. Appa was trying to de-escalate the situation but Momma wanted to push it. Despite seeing how upset I was, she was trying to get an answer to her question. "Y/n answer the question. Are you two sleeping together?" She said. "Oh come on Y/n you haven't told your mom about you yet?" I looked up with Seonghwa and we both saw Kiseok standing in front of us. I felt my entire spirit leave my body. "She may not be sleeping with him but-" Seonghwa quickly jumped up and grabbed Kiseok by his shirt. I was close enough to hear his threat. "Cut it out." "I've fucked her plenty of times." He said loud enough. I was stunned but looked at my mother. She pressed her lips together. I looked at Appa, he didn't seem disappointed he just knew the amount of grief this situation was. "After everything I've taught you. I'm disappointed." She said. I couldn't say anything. "Don't be disappointed she was a good girl. She tasted amazing." Kiseok dug the knife deeper. Seonghwa kneed him in the groin and punched him in the face. He'd already done the damage though. I slowly got up from my seat. I could see Seonghwa turn to me. Tears had formed in my eyes already and I just bowed to my parents to keep from making things worse. A scene was already caused I couldn't avoid anything now. I walked out the door and Seonghwa followed behind me. He pulled me against the wall of a building and covered me with his body while I broke down in his chest. He brushed the back of my head while my tears wet up his shirt like the rain had got him. "It's okay. I'm here." He whispered. "Why, why would he do this. I've left him alone I haven't done anything I haven't gone back to him or anything and he just- I've never seen my mother look at me like that." "It's okay, disappointed doesn't me disowned. Your father was back there talking to her." He tried to reassure me. "My mother is so set in her ways she won't hear him. He'll say the words but she won't take them in, he's wasting his breath. She's just so-fucking crazy. Why is it such a big deal? I'm not some whore. I fucked up once." Seonghwa kissed me. He cupped my face in his hands and he kissed me hard. There was so much desire in his kiss unlike any of the recent kisses we'd been sharing with each other. He kissed me like that one day we slept together but so much harder, so much better. I pulled him closer to my body almost as if we'd melt into each other. I moaned into his mouth. His kiss caused arousal to stir in me and butterflies to rush into my stomach. The deeper he kissed me the more of him I wanted. Him and only him. This felt good. He pulled away for a moment, to my regret, and said
"You're perfect to me."
What other choice did I have but to believe him....
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