WARNING: Long Post and if you are not ready to read this dont read it.
I will miss you. I will miss your smile. I will miss the way you used to make me smile as well. I will miss the way you chuckle and laugh at your members. I will miss the way you looked so lovingly at your members, with that smile.
I will miss your your face, looking and gleaming at other. Looking like an angel sent from heaven. And now you are. I will forever miss the way you will look into the camera, the way it makes me feel like I'm there with you. But I'm not. Im sorry I couldn't be there for you.
Look at you, look at how happy you were. Look at how nobody noticed your pain. Look at how everyone chose to ignore your pain. I'm sorry I wasn't there. Sometimes I think that if I had had met you, even just once, it would have helped you. Sometimes I think that if even just one person said something to you, you'd still be here.
Look here. He was so happy. Did you know he was sad? Did you know he was depressed? Did you know how much pain he was in? No. Nobody did. Nobody took the time to console you. Nobody took the time to ask you "Are you really okay?" He may look happy, but he's dying inside.
Not everyone is a Shawol. Not everyone is a fan of SHINee. But we all hurt the same. Personally I did not handle this situation well and other details I do not wish to add. But if you need any help whether its just grief or whether its personal. I am more than willing to help.
Please if you feel the need to talk to someone email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
I hope you are happier Jonghyun. I love you with all my heart.