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Love Advice from the Phantom of the Opera
Hello, my name is the Phantom. You may also know me as the man behind the mask, OG (opera ghost), or the Angel of Music. As the lead in the super-successful broadway musical, I know all about love and emotion. Keep your hands at the level of your eyes and make sure to pay attention to my counsel. The Phantom of the Opera is here to give you all a little love advice: 1. Love her from Afar No need for romantic dates or actually meeting in person, because true love creeps around and follows you everywhere! Essentially don’t talk to her unless you pretend to be the ghost of her dead father. Coach her to be the best and most talented singer at the opera. Make sure she comes to you for everything: life advice, career advice, and relationship advice. 2. Seduce Her with Your Voice All ladies love a man who sings. No need to seduce her with your looks when you can SING TO HER SOUL. This works only when she’s alone though, so make sure no ones around. 3. Take Her on Your Sweet Ride I mean...We’re on a boat. The ladies love boats. 4. Ignore the Fact that She has a Super Hot Boyfriend He’s her childhood friend turned super-successful hottie. He’s strong and can protect her, and he also sing really well, but you were there first! 5. ...But Know When to Let Her Go She’s everything you want in a girl. She’s perfect and sings beautifully. But she’s not into you the way you are. You put up a fight for her, but you also should know when to just let her go. Because that’s true love right? "Teach me to live Give me the strength to try No more memories No more silent tears No more gazing across the wasted years Help me say goodbye Help me say goodbye"
Mac Sabbath: The McDonald's Metal Band Of Your Nightmares
Just when you thought Ronald McDonald was as scary as clowns got, in comes Ronald Osbourne. From the poofy red wig and the yellow gloves, he's got all the fast food joint's iconic colors in place; however, something sinister boils beneath the surface. This is Mac Sabbath, a Black Sabbath cover band that combines all things Prince of Darkness with ketchup, mayo, and the occasional sweet and sour dipping sauce. And in this gig, Ronald Osbourne is the fast food world's Prince of Darkness equivalent. Needless to say, you should be scared. Very scared. And instead of 'Iron Man', their signature song is 'Frying Pan', which equal parts mocks the quality of fast food and the health of the people who eat it a little too frequently. Oh, and you've got to see Ronald's bandmates. There's Slayer MacCheeze, Grimalice, and Catburglar, who looks a whole lot like Peter Criss from the original KISS line-up. And just like the original Black Sabbath, Ronald and the crew are just as notorious for their extreme stage antics. After attending their concert last summer, music journalist Jake Manson observed a move pulled right out of the Ozzy Osbourne handbook: "The highlight came when Ronald reached into his takeout bag, pulled out a hamburger with bat wings, and took a massive bite out of it." So what do you guys think about Mac Sabbath? Have you seen any clown rock this hard? Let me know if you'd be down to see Mac Sabbath live in concert in the comments below, and for more WTF news, follow my WTF Street Journal collection.