Little did I know
Little did I know that I was just a replacement. It broke me into particles to know that he had always been waiting for that specific someone all of these times. She had the same name as me but was way prettier than me. Little did I know he was waiting for someone's girlfriend. Up until these days, I'm just mad. Mad at how a girl let a boy wait for her while she already had a boyfriend. Mad at how that boy really waited for her when she was already someone's girlfriend. I've always convinced myself that I am not a replacement, that's also what he told me. I mean only fools believe that I am really not a replacement. I am so upset every time I think about it. Has he moved on from her? Has he truly loved me? We're just recovered from a fight. A big fight. And when we were both feeling extremely down, she chatted to cheer him up. I am his girlfriend but I couldn't even talk to him. Every time I talked, the bigger the fight got. He really seemed better after she cheered him up. "I have missed you", that was what he replied. In such a bad situation between us, he thought about her. :") :( Who Am I to you? It's his summer vacation and he had told me that he wouldn't go home because he wanted to accompany me as I was new to this country, he was afraid I would face difficulties. You didn't know that when you told me so, my world was brightend up. I thought no matter what happened to me, I would always have you by my side. I thought you were so thoughtful about me. Your thought warmed my heart. I love you. But days ago, he started acting strange and told me that he wanted to go home. I am that kind of person who would turn around and cry rather than hold anyone back from their decision. I told him to go. He knew I didn't want him to go and that I would be really sad when he's not around yet he still chose to go. He told me that he really missed his family. As a girlfriend, no one would say no to that reason. Yes please go. :) I decided to rush my trip to see my family in Singapore just to get back to him. And now, right after I come back from SG and still feel sad because I would miss my parents so much, my boyfriend with whom I planned to spend my time, leaves me to see his family. I would be doubled sad and there comes the final exam. :) I hope I can go through it. Then it comes my vacation. I planned to have a nice time with my boyfriend because we would be both on vacation but now, he leaves me here all alone. Really all alone because he already knew I wouldn't want to hang out with anyone without him. He's all I have and now he tells me to learn to live on my own. :) you know what, I still love you so truly.