Its taken me a few days to get this all down and was glad for it since I only realized the guys did perform other shows before tour so yey! lol
I stood on the side of the stage watching the guys perform. They were amazing out there. Enjoying the music and rolling. At one point I couldn’t help myself giggling at a slip Tae did and two others following behind him off key for a moment.
By the end of their performance for I’m Fine I had tears in my eyes and was hiding behind a curtain. There was still a few songs left and Suga was going to be up on stage alone in a moment. I hide behind the curtain so that none of them would see me. I could still see the stage and watched as Suga sang Seesaw.
It made me wonder if I was toying with his emotions, and with Namjoons, and with my own. This job opportunity would give me some time and separation from the guys and see what I really was feeling. I wondered if I should resolve it before they left on tour but shook my head at the thought. That was to short a notice for me. Belle may be 100% certain of her choice but I clearly was confused. After namjoon confessed I started getting the butterflies every time I thought of his name or pictured him. Before that I was feeling that way about yoongi.
I groaned and basically plopped down on the ground. There was another hour of their concert before it was over. I looked around. They wouldn’t miss me if I left early would they?
“Eliza where are you?” someone called my name. I looked up and around trying to find the source. I saw Namjoon and kookie on the couch, Namjoon had his leg propped up with an ice pack on his knee and one behind his neck. Kookie was next to him rubbing his back.
“Eliza we need you” Someone called. I got up from the floor and went to namjoon’s side.
“What happened?” i asked kneeling in front of Namjoon. His eyes rolled up to see me but he looked like he was in pain.
“He slide on something on stage and fell to one knee hard” Kookie said.
“Are you in pain? Is it really bruised up?” I asked taking a peak under the ice pack. It was completely red from the cold but there didn’t seem to be a hint of purple discoloration.
“Eliza he needs to go out in 3 minutes, you need to fix his hair where the ice pack is” Someone said from beside me. I looked over than nodded my head and stood up.
I grabbed my kit and came back to stand behind him.
“Do I need to lift my head up?” namjoon asked in a raspy voice.
“No you can leave it but I’m going to remove the ice pack” I said taking it off. I pressed my hand to his neck so the shock of warmth wasn’t so intense. I brushed out his hair and sprayed it down just in time for him to go on stage. I sat on the couch and felt my heart raising. If I didn’t go on the tour with them I would never know how they were doing behind the scenes, if they got hurt or if they needed an extra ice pack. I sighed. No I shouldn’t be thinking that way, that will make me want to stay and I never worried about that before, but that was because I was with them all the time.
The show continued on and I remained on the side lines.
when it was over the guys came in back and fell onto the couches exhausted. People rushed to give them ice packs for their neck and forehead and I stood on the sidelines once more.
It confirmed that I really wasn’t needed.
After the concert the guys went in one Van and than the staff including myself were sent back in another van behind them. Halfway back to the studio I had them drop me off a little closer to my place and just went home.
The next day I went into work and was silent for the majority of the day. The guys were all talking to each other about the mistakes they made the night before and what they could do to fix it, who was to blame, who went off cue. I couldn’t take it anymore and the instant I was done with their make up I walked out of the room. I was just an extra person in that room.
They practiced in their studio and went on with their day. At the end of the day I was heading out of the building when someone pulled me into a room. The door closed and I was pushed up against it. Yoongi was standing there staring directly at me.
“Hello” I said questionably.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“I don’t know what your talking about” I said looking to the right.
“You have been quiet all day. Not a word has come out of your mouth” Yoongi said.
“Nothing is wrong” I said.
“Is it because Belle isn’t here?” yoongi asked.
“No, I already talked to her today. She got into her hometown just fine” I said.
“So than your doing that thing where you over think on something” He sighed, his forehead touching mine as closed his eyes. “Tell me what’s going on” he said. I sighed and pushed him back a little bit. He separated from me but didn’t move far away, keeping me trapped in his arms.
“Did you have a bad time on your date?” He was almost snarling.
“It wasn’t a date, and it turned -” I cut myself off.
“Turned into what?” he asked.
“Well it kind of turned to a work related” I said. He looked at me quizzically.
“Work?” He repeated I sucked in a breath and let it out.
“He offered me a job at a salon” I said.
“A job?” He was confused enough to let me go and take a couple steps back. “So your going to leave?” Yoongi asked.
“I’m thinking about it” I told him.
“You would leave? When we’re going to be away for months?” He was glaring at me now.
“I would have to decide before the tour yes” I nodded. I watched as Yoongi sat in his chair and I took to taking a seat on his couch.
“Well what are the pro’s and con’s? Did you come up with them?” He asked nodding his head.
“Well A pro is that I’ll be able to focus solely on being a colorist and not be moving around all the time, I’ll have more than just a few people. I could make a name for myself . . .” I tried thinking of another one.
“That seems like a lot of good things” He nodded. “Okay the con’s?” He asked.
“That I wouldn’t be with you guys all the time. I’d miss that” I answered.
“That shouldn’t be a con. You’ll still see us a lot.” Yoongi chuckled. “How about a con being you’ll have to deal with building up people coming to you, or how you have to do what other people want and not what you want on the person, Oh money might not be as good as here” He said.
“Those are good ones. But it would actually be a relief to have the person know what they are looking for” I said.
“Well that’s another pro. Another pro would be no dating rule would be enforced” He said.
I blinked, than blinked again.
“Oh yea, “ I chuckled. “The other con about it is that I won’t be traveling all over the world as much” I sighed. “I’ll miss that”
“That’s what you’ll miss” He chuckled.
“Well I’ll miss traveling and being with you guys too” I told him.
“That’s good. I’ll miss having you around” he said.
“You sound as if you think I’m taking the job” I said.
“Well it will be a good opportunity for you” he said.
“So I’m really not needed here” I sighed to myself thinking out loud.
“Is that what you’ve been thinking?” Yoongi questioned sounding shocked.
“Well, yea” I nodded.
“That’s just not true” he said standing up and coming to sit next to me. “Your definitely needed” He said. “But this might be a chance for you to figure out what you want, who you want” He said.
“What?” I was confused.
“Lets be truthful here Eliza you have been going back and forth between us for some time now. Maybe a little time will clear things up” Yoongi stated.
“What do you mean?” I asked dumbfounded.
“Don’t think I’m clueless here Eliza,” He said.
“Your not clueless. I am but I think I do need time to myself to figure out my feelings” I said.
“So take the job Eliza” Yoongi said. “But if you want to stay working at bighit you can too” He added
I smiled at him.
This conversation went the complete opposite of when I talked to namjoon. Yoongi helped me through and is supportive. Not to say Namjoon didn’t hear me out, but he had a different reaction when I told him.
“You’ve given me a lot of help here Yoongi” I told him.
“But your not just going to up and leave us tomorrow are you?” he reached out and took my hands. I smiled at him.
“No, I wouldn’t do that. I’ll talk to one of the managers but I’ll still work with you all until you leave for the states” I told him.
“Good, cause we have a lot crammed into the next few days” he sighed in relief.
The way he said it made me feel as if I really was needed by them
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