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Fighter Ch. 2

Who: Woo wonjae x Reader
What: Crime x Romance
Story: I used to catch the bad guys now they bet money on me in fights.

Minsik's POV

Two years had passed by since Minsik had spoken to Y/N and he knew how stubborn she could be. When he saw her in the gym, he wasn't even slightly surprised by her attitude towards him. The possibility of her father being back in town caused a cloud to hang over his head. The memory of what he had done started to resurface again. He tried to convince himself that he did the right thing but in the same situation he didn't know if he would feel the same way Y/N felt towards him.

Harry walked over to him with a stack of files and dropped them on his desk. Minsik looked up at him annoyed. Harry grinned like an idiot though.

"Paper work for the last three murders we solved and the two that are already on going." Harry said.

He took a seat in front of Minsik and Minsik started to pick at the files already feeling the pressure of his job.

"I don't know how they expect us to take care of so much paperwork for old cases when they keep giving us new ones."

"Well, that's why you have a partner." Harry said.

Harry stretched his hand out for a file and Minsik smirked and handed him the file he really didn't want to do. Harry sucked his teeth when he saw what he had given him. Minsik could remember playing rock paper scissors with Y/N to figure out who was going to take the larger stack of paper work. He also remembered how much fun it was to go to lunch with her and her brother. The way they teased each other and also the way they worked together showed the strength in their bond.

Minsik was torn inside for what he had done and he knew how much he had hurt Y/N because of his decision. Jiwoo meant everything to her. His decision wasn't an easy one and the price for making it left him feeling empty and hurt for months, not to mention it cost him his partnership with Y/N. Depending on the case, sometimes it came back to haunt him.

"By the way did you hear about this possible new drug going through the city?" Harry said.

Anything that had to do with drugs always made Minsik sit up with anticipation. It might connect to Y/N's father, in the past it never did but that never killed his hope. He leaned over to listen to Harry.

"Apparently, it's called Fanatic. The drug increases reaction time and strength, it's like drugs on drugs." He said.

"When did this start?" Minsik asked.

Harry shrugged,

"Just heard about it today."

Minsik leaned back in his chair, was it just a coincidence that Y/N's father was back in town just as Harry let him know about this new drug? He had half a mind to text Y/N but he knew she either wouldn't respond or use that as fuel to go after her father. She was probably right about one thing though, it was entirely possible that Mr. Young was keeping an eye on his daughter and that he might find her as soon as possible.

Y/n could look out for herself and Minsik knew this but what he didn't know was if Mr. Young would be smart enough to stay away from her. As much as she might like to deny it, her rage was much like her own father's. All he could do was try and keep an eye out and make sure to pin point any evidence he could on Mr. Young even if that cost him his own life.

Minsik started to dig into his own work until two officers came in with a woman in handcuffs. The officers that had the woman were struggling to bring her into the interrogation room. She seemed stronger than what she should've been. She was dressed in gym clothes like she was a fighter. She looked like she had been in a huge fight becuase of the bruising on her face and the swelling on her nose. She seemed like she was itchhing for more though. Minsik watched the officers take her into the interrogation room and close the door with a sigh of relief.

He looked back at Harry who was equally interested in what was going on. They both got up in sync and headed to talk to the other officers. Minsik stood in front of officer Lee and Harry stood in front of Officer Kwon. They both followed the two officers to the other side of the room where they could observe the women's behavior. She seemed erratic, her hands were on her head and she was curled up in the chair. She looked like she was starting to beat herself in the head. She looked strung out, her actions were bizarre. Suddenly she went from a crying wreck to throwing the table and chairs in the room. Minsik looked at Officer Kwon,

"What the hell is going on?" He asked.

"We got a call that there was a woman disturbing the public. When we showed up, she had gone from causing a scene to destroying everything in sight. She was at a restaurant." Kwon answered.

"What triggered her to act like that?" Harry asked.

Harry's face turned up in confusion. Kwon shook his head. Lee answered,

"The hostess said she was meeting with someone there. She seemed very normal at first but then suddenly became erratic. Aside from looking like she'd just come from a huge fight, she was normal up until her friend left her."

"Do you know who the friend was?" Minsik asked.

"No but we have the owner gathering video footage from their security cameras. Hopefully we can find out what happened."

"She looks high. I've never seen a drug that suddenly makes a person that aggressive though." Harry said.

"Well PCP makes people pretty aggressive but, if her drink was drugged by her friend, she should've been able to taste it. Unless she smoked, it can be laced with marijuana." Minsik said.

Even though he thought that, he watched the girl through the one sided glass and how she seemed to be shaking now, sweating even. Her behavior wasn't consistent with someone who had PCP in their system. Did she unknowingly take a drug or did she take something that was more powerful than she was aware of, he wondered. The hostess said she looked like she had been in a fight before and considering her fighting spirit at the moment he wondered if she had taken the drug before and started a fight and then took more. Maybe she had taken some sort of amount that didn't quite make her OD but did cause a bad enough reaction.

"Try and get a drug test on her as soon as possible. Do a sobriety test as well. Let me know when those tapes come in. I want to look at them." Minsik said.

He turned to start walking off when Kwon called after him,

"Why are you looking so deep into this? It's not even our case, if it even is a case."

"I have a theory that it may connect to something else I'm working on."

Minsik headed for the exit with Harry following behind him. He caught up to him to grab his shoulder and said,

"Yo where are you going, we have paper work to finish."

"Yeah I know but I need to go see someone quick. I'll come in early tomorrow to handle all of that."

"You better."

Minsik waved goodbye at him and headed to his car. He had to see her, if he was right, her father was already doing business again.

Y/N's POV

I was getting patched up in the locker room. My arm hurt like hell and the needle going through my eyebrow just added to the pain. I had a headache and my eye was a little swollen from the fight. My pride wasn't damaged just my body. Still, something didn't feel right about that fight. Besides I couldn't stop thinking about that man that was in a hurry to leave Nova. I really wanted to know if my father had found out about this place.

Or did he know about this place all along?

Wonaje came walking in while Kiseok was talking to me. The medic had finished stitching up the cut above my eyebrow and was cleaning up his tools. Wonjae clapped as he walked in to see me, he wore his straight face for a moment before a slight smile grazed his lips.

"You did well out there."

"I lost." I said annoyed.

"Yes but I expected you to this time. I just wanted to see how well you would do against her. Even Seonghwa was impressed."

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up to him. He usually bet on me and when he said he had money betting on me today I figured he meant on me winning. I felt insulted as I sat there on the table looking at him angry. He grinned.

"I'm sorry, you expected me to lose?" I seethed.

"Yes but only because of something Seonghwa had supplied your challenger with."

"I thought Chae worked for Kwon."

"She does and Seonghwa works for Kwon. There's a ranking and apparently Seonghwa has taken over the betting for Kwon." Wonaje explained.

I got off the table and stepped towards him. I got in his face, which apparently made his guards nervous but Wonjae wasn't scared at all. I ,however, was quite pissed about the fact that my match was sabotaged. His guards stepped closer to pull me away but Wonjae raised his hand to call them to a halt. He waved his hand to ask them to leave without even having to speak a word. They looked at him with faint hesitation but left anyway. So the two of us stood there in each other's faces. I was pissed off but he was calm and collected.

"You let me go into that match against someone who had an advantage, without telling me?" I asked.

"To test how a skilled fighter could go up against someone using the drug."

"Drug? What drug?"

Wonjae smiled and moved out of my face to go and take a seat. He looked at me with a smug smile and said,

"I thought you didn't want to know details."

"I don't care when it doesn't involve me but putting me in the ring with a doped up fighter isn't fair Woo and it breaks all of my trust with you."

Trust was such a big thing for me and for him to not at the very least give me a chance to make that decision for myself was a violation of it. Minsik had broken my trust and my brother died because of it. My father was lurking around, he already knew where I lived and now one of the challengers was being supplied with a drug from none other than the elusive Kwon. The fighter in me didn't want to know who created it and who supplied it. That side of me just wanted to know how to beat someone who had it in their system but the old me, the cop me, wanted details. I wanted to take down whoever had done this even if it meant making Wonjae upset.

That quick moment of relapse into my old character showed me that, that side of me wasn't dead yet. It was still lurking inside of me waiting to come out at the perfect time. So, I pushed her back down because I had no intention of being a cop again. I didn't deserve that right after my brother died. I started to walk away from the discussion when Wonjae grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

He had these intense dark eyes that looked like black holes trying to show me some deep dark secret in the universe. Despite that intense gaze, his face looked quite soft. I do know he had some sort of fascination with me, his eyes seemed to always be on me even the first time I fought here. He said he was impressed with my skill and the more I won the more he watched. His fascination was like a kitten to a red lazer dot, his eyes followed me intently as if to capture me one day.

"How's your eye?" He asked.

He lifted his hand to gently touch where I had gotten stitches. I couldn't imagine I looked the prettiest at the moment but the way he was looking at me was like I was the only woman in the world.

"It's fine I've suffered worse."

He nodded softly while still staring at my face. He drew his hand back from my eye and he sighed,

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. My intention wasn't to break your trust but it's hard to tell what you want to know and what you don't."

"I understand that but if you had at least tried then I would have nothing to say but you didn't even try Woo."

He grabbed both of my hands and held them gingerly in his. He gave me a sincere apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. Come on, let me give you a ride home."

"No my car is parked here."

"I'll drive it. I'm sure that fight took a lot out of you."

"How are you getting home?"

"My men know where you live. They can bring the car around with us."

He was serious but I had slipped into a lighter mood. I gave him a slight grin and said,

"Good. I was worried you were going to try and stay the night."

"I wouldn't unless you offered."

His sincerity was touching. I rolled my eyes and gave in though. So he stood up and I grabbed my bag. I dropped my shorts real quick to change into my pants and he looked away to give me some sort of privacy. I was actually impressed by that because I was sure he'd try and sneak a peek. When I finally got my shorts in my bag, I walked ahead of him and placed my keys in his hand.

I saw Wonjae wave to his men to follow along with us and I showed him where my car was. I sat in my passenger seat with a bit of a headache and started to look in my glove compartment for pills while Wonaje adjusted the mirrors and his seat. I found the bottle of pills except that it was empty so I tossed it in the back seat with a curse. Wonjae laughed at me.

"You're just going to forget it's empty again if you don't throw it away."

"I will but right now I don't even want to think about it."

I sighed and melted down in the passenger seat just as the car started to move. When Wonjae first sent me flowers, I was annoyed he knew where I lived but I started to realize that was just his way of business. It wasn't some creepy stalking technique; if he was going to invest in me he had to at least know that I wasn't a narc. Considering when I first showed up at Nova, a good amount of people there knew I was a former homicide investigator.

"So do you want to know or not?" Wonaje said after a moment.

I looked towards him and then forward again. I didn't know what I wanted to know.

"What do I need to know? " I asked.

"Well, the fighters will probably be supplied with that drug more often so your fights will be tougher."

"And you want me to take it?"

"I want you to win so if that means you have to train harder or take the drug then do what you have to do. I bet too much money on you to watch you lose. Besides, I don't like seeing your face get scarred up like that."

"My battle wounds make me unpretty?" I said batting my eyes.

He had looked to the side for a moment to see me do that and it made him smile. I couldn't help but grin at that and I sighed. At least he wasn't giving me an ultimatum but if my fights were going to start being like that I was going to really need to step up my game. I couldn't keep losing but I didn't want to take this drug either.

"For the record, battle scars are sexy, I just don't like seeing you hurt."

"How do you like seeing me then?"

I was only teasing him but his eyebrow cocked upwards as he came to a stoplight. He looked at me and his lips formed into an even bigger smile. He leaned down for a second and came close to my face. He was even cuter up close.

"You're going to learn one day to stop teasing me Y/N."

"I don't think it's teasing. Think of it as me giving you a chance to speak your peace Woo."

I closed the semi large gap between us so that we had at least fifteen percent worth of space before our lips touched. I grinned mischievously at him and he placed his hand on my cheek ready to lean in when the car behind us started to honk. The light had turned green and the person behind us was tired of waiting. Wonjae chuckled and sat up straight to continue driving back to my place.

We finally got to my place and I hopped out with my bag so that I could go inside. Wonjae tossed me the keys and walked me up to the door. I turned and stopped at the door to look at him.

"Did you think you were coming in?" I teased.

"Just trying to be a gentleman and walk you to the door is all."

He raised his hands like I was holding him at gun point. I chuckled at him and unlocked the door I waved him in because I had more to talk to him about. I led him into the kitchen where I grabbed a beer and handed him one before I sat down at my kitchen counter. There were two plastic bar like chairs there and the kitchen was small and basically opened up to the living room. My place was small and everything was basically displayed in front of me as soon as I walked through the door.

I had a small cream color futon and there were about thirteen steps that led up to where I kept my bed. There was a small hallway where really only one person could walk down and it led to the bathroom. My place was clearly meant for one person. Wonjae looked around observing the small space almost amazed by the fact that I lived here.

"This is the first time you've had me in here." He said

"It's such a small place, now you see why."

"I don't mind it so much."

I laughed, he sounded like be was trying to be nice but it was obvious he was used to being in places with more space. I half wondered if he had regretted driving me home and wished he took me to his place. He took a sip of his beer before he stopped looking at my place and looked over at me.

"So what else do I need to know about this drug?" I asked.

"There's nothing else you need know."

"Any side effects?"

"They're still experimenting with it."

"And you don't think that's something I need to know?"

"I'm assuming you're not going to be taking the drug."

"I'm not but I'd like to know how it influences my opponents. Especially if they're going to be taking it. Have the others been informed about this? Kiseok? Jonghan, Sejun?" I said.

"Of course they know about it. Look, what I know so far is that the drug enhances reaction time and strength. It was created by a scientist and that scientist was connected to someone Kwon knows. The drug has been circulating for a while now. I don't know who their supplier is. I do know that given in certain amounts the effect changes. A small does is potent enough to do what Chae did today."

"And a large dose?"

He shrugged. I guess they hadn't experimented with that part yet. If they haven't that meant that these fighters were going around being pumped on some weird ass drug that wasn't completely tested yet. That was unnerving, I never thought Chae would be the one to take a drug for enhancements but maybe Kwon didn't give her a choice. She seemed like she had too much pride for that. I couldn't lie though, the fight itself was exciting. I had never felt so pumped up before. However, I don't know if I really wanted to take that ass whooping again.

"From what I've heard it was some sort of strange drug that was being made in the military to increase the soldiers stamina. I guess the guy tampered with it enough that it didn't just increase stamina but strength and reflexes."

"Hold on this thing started out in the military? So what is this some rouge scientist trying to start a drug epidemic?"

Wonjae laughed,

"You watch too many conspiracy shows."

"Actually I don't watch any and you're not answering the question."

"Because I don't have an answer and even if I did I'm not sure you'd want to know."

He wasn't wrong. I think I knew more than I cared to know already. Still, at least now I know why Chae was so fast and why some of my punches didn't seem to phase her. Most times the adrenaline doesn't let me feel all the pain until an hour after the fight is over but this time was clearly different. No matter how much adrenaline was running through my veins during that fight. I was feeling everyone of those blows.

"It was still unfair of you to not tell me what I was up against when I fought her. At least I could've been better prepared."

"I do apologize but at least now you're aware. How you move next is up to you."

"You know I'm not taking the drug."

He nodded. He already knew and he didn't have to ask. I'm pretty sure no one else ever talked to Wonjae like this. I'm pretty sure he never offered to take anyone home if it didn't involve shooting them in the end. He was a dangerous guy and I was in underground fighting where experimental drugs were now being used on the fighters. I wasn't any better but getting involved with him might be worse for me. I wasn't entirely sure but I did know I had to be cautious with him.

I took another sip of my beer and looked the other way. So much was running through my mind and then I noticed that card from earlier I had left on the counter. The reminder of his "I'm home" message sent a chill down my spine. If he did really show up at the fights, did that mean he was tracking me there? I must've had a serious look on my face because Wonjae peered over to look at me.

"What's wrong? " he asked.

"Nothing," I took another sip when I thought, maybe he would know, "actually do you know-"

I stopped talking and he just stared at me again with intense eyes. He straightend up and said,

"What is it?"

"Never mind."

I didn't want to give him any information that he didn't need. I wondered if maybe he already knew my father or not. I mean if he knew I was a cop and he knew where I lived it wouldn't be so suprising that he did know him. That just annoyed me though, I tried not to think about it just because he was cute and he's how I got my money.

I placed my beer down and walked around the short wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. I threw the card away and Wonjae noticed the flowers in the trash.

"Did you ever find out who sent you those?" He asked.

"Yeah, someone I'd really rather not think about to be very honest. Where did I put my asprin?"

"You really think you should take that after drinking a beer?"

"Good point."

My head was still aching though. My jaw hurt too but at least it wasn't dislocated. That was something else that irritated me, if my father was there then he saw me lose that match and that was embarrassing in itself. I didn't have a need to impress my father but I did have a need to prove to him that I was capable of destroying him the way his decisions had destroyed Jiwoo.

I rubbed my temples for a moment trying to relieve the stress that was starting to come on. Even from that one beer, my body had already started to warm up and the tips of my ears were hot. Wonjae got up and walked over to me and started to massage my shoulders. His hands were stronger than they looked. He was working out some deep knots in my shoulders that had me placing my hands on the counters and humming in pleasure. Then I felt something soft on the nape of my neck.

His lips.

I turned my head to look up at him. I think he enjoyed touching me. His thumbs rolled circles into my upper shoulders. There was this intoxicating pleasure that his hands delivered that I didn't want to fight. I turned completely to look up at him now and whatever conclusion I had come to earlier about being involved with him had been forgotten. I reached up to cup his face and pulled him down to kiss me. That action was all the confirmation he needed.

His lips caressed mine while his tongue slipped into my mouth. He didn't need to ask for permission I was giving him his opening. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this. He lifted me up and sat me on the counter with rougher kisses. His hands started to remove my jacket. Just as everything was getting fast and furious, there was a knock at the door.

"Ignore it." Wonjae said.

It wasn't a command more like a plea. Like he didn't want to stop what was going on yet. His hand came to my neck to tilt it one way while he sucked on the side lightly. The knock came again and it came harder and louder. I knew who was at the door.

I stopped Wonjae, I was panting a little and he looked at me surprised I was really stopping all of this. I looked at him with regretful eyes before I said,

"You should go."

I hopped off the counter and went to the door. Wonjae moved slowly behind me but he did start gathering his things. He wasn't one to push me. He did at the very least respect my space when I asked for it. I opened the door and just who I thought was behind it was standing there.

"Really bad timing Sik." I grumbled.

"We need to talk." He said.

"As if your aggressive knocking wasn't obvious."

Wonjaechad come up from behind me and Minsik looked at him as if processing who he was. He looked back at me disappointed and I looked to Wonjae. He leaned down to whisper in my ear,

"Join me for dinner tomorrow. I'll have my men pick you up."

"Is that a demand?" I teased.

"It's a request, one I'm hoping you'll accept."

I smiled at him but I wasn't going to answer him in front of Minsik.

"I'll call you." I said.

Wonjae nodded but there was a small smile of hope on his face. It disappeared when he looked up at Minsik. He didn't introduce himself he just left the apartment. I stretched my hand into the house and Minsik walked in. I closed the door behind him and sat down on the couch.

"There's a drug going around called Fanatic ever heard of it?" Minsik said.

"No, why would you think I would?"

"Don't you think it's a little curious that as soon as we find out your father is coming back there's this new drug on the market."

"Well one, I had no idea there was a new drug on the market. I'm not a cop anymore remember? And two, my father is already back."

"How do you know?"

I stood up from the couch and walked over to the trash can. I opened up the crumbled card and handed it to Minsik. He stared at it for a moment but even he couldn't deny what he was looking at. He sighed,

"This all connects. I know it does I just have to prove it."

"Well you better prove it before he comes to me."

"You're really going to risk your freedom for revenge?"

"I don't know why I have to keep warning you about it. If you choose to take my threat lightly that's on you but even my father was smart enough to let me know he was back without showing his face to me. So find him, before I do."

I headed for the stairs to basically show him that I didn't want to talk anymore. I flopped down on my bed and I heard Minsik walk up a few steps before he stopped. Maybe he was thinking about his actions I didn't really know. I didn't care either. This night had been very eventful.

"Look, this drug increases strength and reflexes. Now, there was a woman that came in today and I think she may have used it."

The increased strength and reflexes made me sit up. I looked at him.

"What makes you say that?"

"Two cops were bringing her in and she was erratic, she was fighting to get away from them and she was pretty powerful. She looked strung out and then she started breaking down like someone having a withdrawal."

That couldn't be Chae, I had just seen her and she seemed to be in perfect control over herself. She didn't look any different than before but that drug sounded like something serious. I couldn't be certain but maybe it was a side effect of the drug, or maybe she took more of it. She was fine in the ring, she was fine when she left. Why did this have my adrenaline kicking? I both wanted to be on this case and I wanted to stay far away from it.

"Look, I came to tell you because I really think we could get your father this time-"

"And you want me to help you catch him rather than killing him."

"He'll suffer in jail."

I laughed. I sat up to look at him and shook my head.

"You don't get it do you? My father is a powerful man, he won't suffer in jail he'll own it. He'll run the street from the inside and no one can stop him. He has to die."

I know he wanted me to change my mind but I couldn't. I didn't want to in all honesty. If I could get rid of him, if the spreading of this drug was because of him, maybe my demons would go to hell with him. It was a theory but one I was willing to test. Minsik didn't have anything else to say he had done all he could do.

"By the way, what happened to your face?" Minsik asked from the door.

"I got into a little fight, it's nothing."

I'm pretty sure he knew there was more to it than that but he also knew I wasn't going to tell him anything. He left the apartment and I laid in bed thinking about what he said. The drug was called Fanatic. It would be a really big coincidence if my father had nothing to do with this.

The next morning, I had run through my normal gym routine except for the fact that I had heavier weights, higher speeds and a longer time on the punching bag. I wasn't going to take the drug so that meant I was going to have to get better and stronger the natural way. Not only that, but I was going to have to come up with better techniques. As I was leaving the gym, I got a call on my cell from an unknown number. I hung up but when it called me back immediately I answered it.

"Who is this?" I asked.

A chuckle came from the other end,

"Always trying to prove how tough you are, huh Y/N. How are you?"

That cold chill went down my spine again. The blood rushed in me as my hands balled into fists. I had the phone pressed to my ear and my jaw was tight. My heart pounded, there was so much hate building up in me. My tone rang with animosity as I said,

"Dad."

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why u gotta put 3 sexy men in this damn u evil child
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Trauma Ch.4
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Junmyeon's POV Junmyeon admitted to himself only that Y/N cut him deep when she asked him if he were "so incapable of understanding he wasn't wanted somewhere". That brought back a feeling he didn't want to remember. After what happened tonight though, he understood her a lot more. It cleared up a lot of the things he thought he knew about her. He could tell her father was strict but he could see it in her eyes and her manners that she was terrified of him. When Junmyeon witnessed her father push her, he was in shock and when he basically attacked her, he was furious. He couldn't comprehend why her father hated her so much. Junmyeon never hated Y/N, he liked annoying her though. She kind of got on his nerves as well but he didn't hate her. He never hated a woman enough to want to put his hands on them and it baffled him that her own flesh and blood could do that. It made him recoil in his head when he realized what he'd done to her just a week ago, purposely bumping into her. It was unnecessary. He could've triggered things in her the way he was triggered by his past. Actually, if he was thinking about it hard enough, he was perfectly aware of the fact that there were people out there that came from dysfunctional families. Families with issues, pain, abuse. After all, his own father was planning on killing him. Junmyeon sat Y/N down on his couch and he brought the cat out in her cage. She took her out and sat her on her lap while Junmyeon retrieved the beers from the kitchen. She looked up at him seeing the beers and smiled softly. He sat down next to her and said, "What?" "I didn't think you were serious about the beers." "Oh I never joke about beer." He smiled big at her and opened her bottle then handed it too her. He didn't know if she was a beer drinker or not but when he saw her take that first gulp he could tell that it was hitting her just right. She wanted to forget what happened tonight. She may not be a drinker but she needed the drink. "Slow down a little. I need to catch up" he said. "I have a feeling your temperament is better than mine when under the influence." "Have you ever been drunk before?" He asked. "A few times. Some times weren't as bad as others." She said. She sighed and relaxed deeper into the couch. He watched her hand pet her cat while she drank from her beer with the other. Junmyeon joined in and sat in the silence with her. He wasn't sure what to talk to her about. He doubted she'd want to discuss what just happened at her place. He wanted to kick himself for not noticing that she was afraid earlier. He was upset at himself for not reacting fast enough, the shock just took over his body. Before he knew it, he had finished his beer and when he looked over at her, she'd finished before him. She was touching her face where she was hit, he could tell from the look in her eyes she was reliving it. "I think we're going to need something stronger than beer." He said as he got up. She reached out for him and said, "We didn't eat much, drinking too much could cause a lot of problems." "I'll order out, although, your food tastes way better than take out. I may have to start dropping by during dinner. " She rolled her eyes but she didn't say no. Even though he was just joking, he was tempted to try anyway. After all, they still had a project to work on, maybe they would end up eating together anyway. He shook his head as he grabbed the bottle of apple soju out of the refrigerator and grabbed the shot glasses. He ordered take out from an app on his phone and poured the shots for him and her. She was quick to throw the shot back leaving Junmyeon wide eyed. "You're a better drinker than most girls I know." He laughed. "I've had my practice, believe me." She wiped the side of her mouth with her wrist then pushed the shot glass over to him. Junmyeon looked at her with a cocked eye. He took his shot before he poured her one and then refilled both of their cups. By the time she finished that shot, she was fanning herself. Junmyeon laughed, "You're hot already?" "Hey, alcohol tends to spike up my temperature. You're telling me you're not hot?" He shook his head, "I don't feel it yet." "You will." He laughed as he stood up to go and lower the temperature in the room. Her body temperature would only rise and his would too as he drank. He figured this trick out a long time ago. The more he drank, the hotter he got and the more clothes he'd strip off. He then found himself under a blanket in his room freezing in the morning. It kept him comfortable while he drank, it was the waking up part that was a bitch. The doorbell rang and he answered it to get the food. He watched as she slipped her cat back into the cage and whispered to her, "Be good Lady." She was calmer but she was tipsy he could tell. She started pouring another shot and Junmyeon hurried over to stop her from drinking it. "Hold on you lush. Let's get some food in you first. You know, to absorb that." She chuckled but placed her hand on her face like she was embarrassed. Anguish washed over her face for a second and she started to pick at the containers that held her food. Junmyeon took a moment to get himself settled. He started wondering if bringing alcohol in the mix was a wise decision. She suddenly looked over at him and said, "Why did you help me?" "You can't think I'm that heartless can you? Any decent person would step in." "I didn't know you had one." she smirked. She went ahead and took another shot. The alcohol was getting to her more now than before. He could see a glaze over her eyes like she wasn't really there. She blinked hard, something he recognized in other women he drank with. She had a few shots and a beer, she wasn't a light weight but she didn't seem to have a very high tolerance either. She covered her mouth and burped or hiccuped, maybe both, he wasn't entirely sure. She giggled though and said, "You didn't have to bring me here though. You didn't have to- be nice... So why did you?" She asked. "Well I couldn't just leave you there like that. What's the deal with your father anyway? He's- well he's abusive, why are you putting up with it?" He asked. "Oh that's a boring story. Someone like you wouldn't care to hear it." She said it sarcastically but Junmyeon knew that was really how she felt about him. She relaxed deeper into the couch with her eyes closing; she smiled even though it was clear to him that she was hurting. He regretted ever giving her a hard time. He clearly knew nothing about her and even if she did get on his nerves sometimes, he wasn't okay with seeing her submit to her father like that. She was tough around everyone else, why couldn't she stand up to him? Why wouldn't she? Junmyeon was seven when everything with his family happened. He hated his father now, the rage that grew in him towards that man only built the older he got. He was sure if his father was still alive he would rage against him so much so that he'd kill him almost on sight. Y/N held her own against everyone else though. Why just her father? It was a mystery he didn't want to wait to find out, as long as she was drunk she might be more willing to tell him. "What makes you think I don't want to hear it?" He asked her. Her eyes opened up and she turned her head to look at him. She twisted her lips in an odd fashion and then bit the corner for a second. She then sat up poured herself one more shot and threw it back. Junmyeon looked at her oddly, she really needed another shot to tell the story? How bad was this story? "Hey, I'm not that pathetic, I just don't actually want to remember this evening in the morning." She said. She fixed herself on the couch to face him more and said, "Okay, so my sad little story begins... not so sad actually. My father used to be really gentle with me, he was a good guy. In a lot of ways, he was just a normal papa." "So what changed?" She released a heavy sigh. "My mother did actually." She stopped for a moment, there was a half smile on her face but her eyes did that gaze like she was zoning out. Her mind was still there but she was staring 40 yards ahead of her. She wasn't looking at Junmyeon she was just...staring at space. Or perhaps the memories that were playing in her mind like a movie. He knew how that felt. "When I was ten, my mother walked out on us. We never got a reason why. My dad has bipolar disorder so when she left him, he flew off the handle in a very big way. He wasn't consistent with taking his medications anymore. At some point, I think he just stopped so his moods were always erratic; he would be in a euphoria one moment then a month later he'd be angry or depressed. He threw everything out that belonged to her. He burned the sheets they shared and destroyed the furniture she picked out. He even threw out items she bought me. I loved my papa so much that if he was that angry at my mom then it made sense for me to be that angry at her too. So, I didn't really care that he threw that stuff out. He got rid of almost half my wardrobe though, it took him almost two months to replace the ones he threw away." "When did he become abusive?" Junmyeon asked. She looked up at him like she was hurt he was calling her father's actions abusive. He could also see on her face that she knew she couldn't argue that he was abusive. She said, "Almost immediately...My father loved my mother very much and when she left us without a warning it put him in a bad place. She was his reason for being, she accepted him so when she left him without a reason it destroyed him. I did my best to not need her, to not whine but I missed her. I was angry at her for all the pain she put us through but I really wanted my mother. That was a trigger enough for him to get angry. I cried for my mom and he just went off. He screamed and threw things at me and then he hit me. He came to apologize to me and begged me to keep it a secret. He told me that he couldn't lose me too. Someone would take me away from him and he would die without me." "Y/N that's manipulation and it's dangerous." Junmyeon said concerned. She looked up at him with tears resurfacing and brimming her eyes. She swallowed hard as a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. "I look like my mom," She confessed. "It took me a while to realize that's what he hated about me the most. He didn't want me to be like her. He wanted to remold me. It's so confusing and so fucked up because-" she sniffled and wiped her tears but more ran down to replace them "I lived with someone that loved and hated me at the same time. So when he flew in a rage...even if it wasn't because of something I did, I was the target. I don't know what was worse, when I was the one that screwed up or when it happened for no reason." "I don't understand, why do you keep letting him into your house?" She gave a weak smile. Her eyes looked like a water falland red blush rand from cheek to cheek across the bridge of her nose. "He's my father." She said. That didn't seem like a good enough reason to him but to her it made sense. It was clear she was struggling with her feelings for him as well. She loved him and probably hated him too. Junmyeon wouldn't blame her for hating him. However, he didn't think she should keep allowing herself to be subjected to that kind of abuse. He saw how quickly her father reacted just because she mentioned her mother he couldn't imagine the beatings he gave her years before. He felt sick to his stomach but she chuckled clearly drunk. Her breathing skipped and hitched like a child that had been crying furiously and was told to calm down or face a harsher punishment. Her hands worked to clear he face like it was important for her to not show such a weak side of herself. "Did no one else know about this?" Junmyeon asked. "Minseok did." He shouldn't have been surprised by that but he was. He didn't see Minseok staying quiet while something like that happened to her. He was annoyingly protective of her. Now that he realized that, maybe that's why he was asking him to be kind to her while they worked on their project together. She always seemed like the type of girl with a normal up bringing. She was a good student, she had her friends and she didn't seem to have any problems. When she suggested doing their project on depression he assumed it was because of what Minseok went through, maybe it was or maybe it was also connected to her. When she mentioned PTSD connecting to depression, all he could focus on was his trauma. He never would've suspected that she knew what real trauma was. She was a full grown adult and she was still being abused by her father because her father hated her mother. To Junmyeon, it seemed like he hated her too. When Junmyeon spoke with Y/N's father, he didn't seem like the warm welcoming father he expected her to have. He thought that had more to do with his comments to her when he arrived than it did with her father. As they talked, he asked questions about how well they knew each other and how she behaved in her classes. Her father was using Junmyeon as an informant almost as if he was hoping to catch her in a lie later. He was annoyed with her for getting a B but to Junmyeon that didn't make sense. It seemed like he just wanted a reason to go off. Though her father may actually have bipolar disorder, Junmyeon was sure he was treating Y/N that way of his own sound mind. It wasn't his disorder that made him this wicked towards her it was his own hatred of her mother, the person she looked like, the root of his pain and the one he actually hated, that made him treat her that way. It occurred to Junmyeon that perhaps her father couldn't separate the two of them. When he saw Y/N, it was possible all he was saw his estranged wife despite knowing she was his daughter. The face that kept looking back at him with big sad eyes, almost like an injured puppy belonged to his daughter but triggered his hate for his former wife. It was up to her father to recognize that he was the problem not Y/N. Junmyeon was starting to understand a little bit that Y/N was desperate to have a parent. She loved her father so she convinced herself to make allowances for his behavior. She blamed his disorder and kept up the role as the daughter that did her best to make her father proud. "That's why he doesn't like Minseok," She said. "I guess he always figured he'd tell someone what he was doing and then I'd be taken away." "And then he couldn't beat on you any more." "Myeon." She sighed. "No, Y/N that's not okay don't let it be okay. He may be your father but he knows what he's doing and he's doing it on purpose." Junmyeon came closer to her and cupped her face. He made her look him in the eye, "He knows he has control over you. That's why he's does this. If you keep letting him do this he might kill you, do you understand? " "No, he won't. He wouldn't." "He may not on purpose but he could hit you and you could fall the wrong way and die. No one should be putting their hands on you. No one." "No, he always apologizes," She was starting to slur her words but tears still spilled over from her eyes. Junmyeon felt hurt just having to talk to her about this. She didn't seem to be hearing him, she was too drunk to really let it all sink in. She smiled despite her eyes being closed, she touched Junmyeon's face and said, "He's my dad. He's all I have." He couldn't relate. When his grandparents took him; they were kind and gentle. They worried about him and tried to make sure that he was okay. They loved him and were tender with his emotions. They made sure they did everything they could to help him work through his trauma. He still wasn't really okay but he was better than he was before. He actually wanted to help her. Her body started to go limp and he realized that she fell asleep. He carried her to his room and laid her on the bed. He would try and stay in Minseok's room for the night. He was sure Minseok wouldn't mind, he would be able to keep an eye on him. At least now, he understood his guardian nature towards her. It was a little past midnight when Minseok and Jongin came back in. Junmyeon had to shush them before he explained that she got drunk and fell asleep. Minseok immediately could tell there was more to the story than that but Jongin shrugged it off and mentioned that it seemed like they had fun. He walked off to go get into bed and when Misneok was sure Jongin wasn't in ear shot anymore he asked for the non abridged version. After he explained everything, Minseok shook his head upset. "I wish she'd just let me turn him in." He seethed. "She's very attached to him." "Of course she is, he's her father. She's so scared to get rid of him because if she does then she'll have no one left. He is all the family she has." Minseok said. "What about the run away mother? Do you think they could make it up?" Minseok looked at him like he was crazy. "She hasn't heard a word from her mother since she was ten, after all she's been through, who'd you forgive her?" "No but then again there's lot I would do that she wouldn't." "Of course there is because you two are different people. She's not really a fighter." "She doesn't have grandparents?" "She's never mentioned them. I don't even know if she knows them. I doubt it honestly. This is why I asked you to be careful with her Junmyeon. Things would've gone smoothly if you didn't barge in like that." "Are you kidding me? How the hell did she even get you to keep your mouth shut about all of this? Someone has to wake her up and see that guy for the monser he is." Though Junmyeon was referring to Y/N's father he partly knew his own problems were seeping out. This whole situation was bringing up bad memories for him. They didn't have the same background but they shared pain, a pain that he was sure Minseok couldn't share with her. If he could convince her to stop seeing her father, to keep him out of the house, would she? "She doesn't listen to me. She won't listen to anyone. As long as she does what he says, he'll pay for her college she uses that as justification, if not that she thinks if he apologizes he actually means it." "I talked with him he's got this-- I don't know obsession with her. He needs to have control over her. She's using his mental health as an excuse but that doesn't cut it Minseok, that man is perfectly capable of understanding that what he is doing is wrong." He argued. "Y/N's capable of understanding that too. I'm not condoning what's happening Junmyeon, by no means is this okay-" "Then why aren't you hounding her ass about it?" Junmyeon was utterly frustrated about this situation. His grandparents were his support system. Minseok was the closet thing she had to a support system so why was he just letting her go on like this? Minseok was frustrated himself. A lot of guilt flashed through his face even as he huffed. "I've seen him hit her Junmyeon. I know how bad it is but unless she's willing to speak up about it there's nothing police can or will do." "Okay but as her best friend you should know that you have the power to convince her that she can speak up. You can talk to her and convince her into reporting him. " "I talk to her. All I do is talk to her but she won't listen. I'll try again tomorrow. " Minseok said. Minseok walked down the hallway to his room. Junmyeon took a moment to peer into his too see if she was still asleep. She was out cold. He wanted to try talking to her too. Since they both experienced traumatic events in their past maybe he could help her with the issue. Or at least he could tell her that her father's behavior wasn't worth excusing. There was a simple doubt in his mind, if she didn't even listen to her best friend why would she listen to him? Someone he was sure she wasn't too fond of. He could only try. The next morning came and Y/N walked out of Junmyeon's room looking confused. She covered her mouth as she yawned and then made a face like she could smell her own morning breath. She probably did, Junmyeon resisted his normal urge to tease her about it and walked over to her. "How are you feeling?" He asked "Um...I don't know. How did I fall asleep in your bed?" Junmyeon chuckled. "Don't worry I didn't touch. I laid you down in there and I slept in Minseok's room with him." "Oh," she seemed surprised that he did something so generous. "Thank you." He chuckled, "Well you dont have to seem so surprised by it." "I just didn't expect you to do something so nice. I just hope I didn't get any disease from sleeping in your bed." "Aish you're such a pain in the ass!" She laughed at him. He was being playful when he said it but then he started to wonder if he may have hurt her. He wondered how much his words stung her. He was careless when he spoke with her because he assumed he knew what kind of person she was. She was guilty of being just as careless with him but they were both pretending. They both wanted to be normal, so they could play the role of a typical person despite childhood trauma. Junmyeon cleared his throat, "Listen, about last night," "Oh Junmyeon I don't want to talk about that." "I think it's important that we do." "You don't know what's going on." "Except that you told me what was going on last night. Look, it may be uncomfortable for you to talk about but it's something that really needs to be addressed." "Even if I did tell you, what do you know about what I'm going through. I mean really Junmyeon, you're the one that acts like you have this perfect life and that everything life is gold." "Trust me Y/N, everything that glitters isn't gold. I can understand what you're going through because I my father tried to kill me." She stopped putting up a front and stared at him with wide eyes. The confession didn't just throw her off but she was baffled by exactly what he confessed and he could tell. The police had shown him pity and his grandparents expressed grief, everyone said they couldn't believe someone would do what he did to his own wife and plan what he planned for his own son but in the end, those were the cold hard facts. "I'll tell you my story since you told me yours. That'll make us even, yeah?" He said. She still looked shocked but she nodded yes. Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97 @dalenalw
A New Suga Fanfic coming soon..
would anyone be Interested in a reader/yoongi fanfic? It is going to based of an old country song that I adore... Strawberry Wine by Deanna Carter... The story is an AU fic but a coming of age story. You spend the summers at your grandparents farm with your best friend Taehyung. You aren't a stranger to the college boys that your grandpa hires in the summer to help out with the harvesting and the running of his farm. You grandpa has animals, and produce on his farm but you and Taehyung usually spend it in the Strawberry fields. Your grandpa also makes wine from the strawberries. What you didn't expect was two college boys helping with the strawberries and the wine making. The college kids your grandfather usually hires help with the animals and other functions on the farm. You spend your summer falling in love and not hoping for heartache come September? You naively fall hard but as you get older it becomes a fleeting thought across your mind... If interested in the story comment below. I'm looking forward to writing a story of summer love and first love... but also a story about growing up Suga's Genius' @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @jeonraeyoo Suga's starchildren @MelissaGarza @Starbell808 if you would like to be added to the official Suga cmty taglist comment below. Taglist is only for the Suga council and will be used on the content we create for the community... My vingle fam @WinKonVIP @luna1171 @LiyahBoon @BTSMicDrop @twistedPDnim @YulaGyeom @MelissaGarza @jjrockstar @yehetmyohorat97 @CrookedShadow @ESwee @Lexxcisco @awkwardjazzy @sukkyongwanser @QueenLeLe @QueenPandaBunny @SweetDuella @BabydollBre @SugaKookieV @InfiniteKiss @QueenyCrossGene @Halsyeon RMs Fearless Leaders @VeronicaArtino @BTSMicDrop @WinKonVIP @MelissaGarza @Just2BLoved @SugaKookieV @DefSoul1994 Taehyung's Purplers @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @jiminsnooder Suga's Genius @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV JIMIN Squad @BTSMicDrop @Queenpandabunny @Just2BLoved @jiminsnooder @SugaKookieV @VeronicaArtino Golden Maknae Crew @SugaKookieV @LiyahBoon @MelissaGarza @Yugykookie97 @DefSoul1994 @VeronicaArtino Sunshine Hope @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @VeronicaArtino Winner Council @WinKonVIP @MelissaGarza @Just2BLoved @VeronicaArtino Fantastic Losers @WinKonVIP @MelissaGarza @Just2BLoved @Starbell808 @VeronicaArtino BTS @DeyaniraEstrada @lilbr0wneyes @KokoroNoTakara  @cbellea @Helixx @sarahdarwish @Hurdkpop @biancadanica98 @xMangaLover @KellyOriane @wordlesseyes @jojojordy2324 @TleahEdwards @MissyKim @EmilyPeacock @Journ505 @ShadowAngel87 @Kyokeo @GenesisZiporrah @FelicianaRomero @ScarletMermaid @SeoInHan @IMNII @jcl4rks0n @heidichiesa @humairaa @torchix @sarahpjane @SugaKookieV @Bangtanss @ReynadeKpop @PrincessUnicorn @SimplyAwkward  @OneOfAKind @MadAndrea @musicmofo @nicolejb @jcl4rks0n @ashleyemmert @Katherina2078 @unnieArmkeY @AlloBaber  @EvilGenius @Dabaesaplayer @CloverShadows @Mandubum @PassTheSuga @SugalessJams @danidee @ButterflyBlu @B1A4BTS5ever  @btsgotshinee @EasternShell @ShadowAngel87 @EmilyPeacock @Journ505 @MissyKim @TleahEdwards @jojojordy2324 @KellyOriane @xMangaLover @Hurdkpop @peahyr @biancadanica98 @sarahdarwish @cbellea @johnevans @terenailyn @gabbycalzada @taetaebaozi @lilbr0wneyes @xxMollxx @Xionheart @Defy24601 @TanyaGautam @ZionPerezFlower @NickySerban @KwonOfAKind @krin @Emealia @FelicianaRomero @DestinaByrd @ScarletMermaid @ashleyemmert  @Katherina2078 @TaehyungV @Starbell808 @SweetDuella @MelissaGarza @Lexxcisco @resavalencia@sukkyongwanser @KarenGuerra93
Trauma Ch.6
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Junmyeon's POV Y/N came over to work on their project again. Two long weeks had passed since he had told her about his past. The flashbacks in his dreams didn't stop but now mixed with seeing her in them. When they spoke at the cemetery, he had felt something he was unaware of. Almost like he was afraid to break her as he touched her but he had a desire to protect her. He understood what Minseok meant when he said she was fragile but he knew why no one would ever guess that. She acted as though nothing had gone on the past two weeks. Everything was normal with them, the same way he had gone on with his life, medication aside, he was normal. From the outside, no one would know the two of them had experienced the worst trauma imaginable. He found himself staring at her while she was in his room. She no longer had an aversion to sitting on his bed. She was laying across it with her laptop open, she was scrolling through some webpage and she had a psychology book open beside her. Their project was more detailed now, probably too detailed considering they only had about six minutes to present all their facts. She was working on the written paper part of it. He helped with the research but he felt like her part was still the biggest of the whole project. She volunteered for it, saying it was her strong suit. He wondered what else was her strong suit. He was curious about her now and his curiosity was being starved by her. Since he'd talked to her about everything going on with her father, she seemed to want to keep him at arms length. It was like she wanted to go back to her everyday normal life and that scared him. He just knew that meant if she was trying to assume her normal life that also meant letting her father get close again because to her that was normal. He had already heard her make up excuses to keep him around. Junmyeon could understand that she didn't want to be alone but she wasn't alone. She had her friends, she had Minseok why would she want to keep allowing that man, who called her pathetic, worthless, a bitch, to continue being in her life? Just because they were blood didn't mean he wouldn't hurt her. He knew that first hand and now she knew it. What was she so desperately clinging onto? Junmyeon had been staring at her for so long that Y/N could feel it because she looked up at him curiously. She offered a little smile, though it was a bit bashful. "What?" She asked. "What?" She chuckled light heartedly, "You've got a look on your face," she said. "What look?" She sat up while covering her pen with its cap. She crossed her legs and said, "Like you want to say something but you don't want to say it...or can't." He stared at her for a moment and then looked away. He didn't really know what he wanted to say. There were things he wanted to ask her like was she okay, did she talk to her father, was she going to stop seeing him? He didn't ask her any of those things. He just sighed and stood up, "I'm going to get a beer, you want one?" "No I'm good. I probably shouldn't be drinking while I'm constructing an argument," she laughed. He smiled at her politely and walked out to the kitchen. Something about being around her was bugging him. It was that feeling he always got when he was around her though, this need to be on her nerves just so he would be the center of her attention. He took a sip of the beer he pulled out of the fridge while he recalled the gigantic smile she gave Siwon when she saw him. They must've been close for her to be so happy to see him. Was she ever happy to see him, Junmyeon wondered? Does she even like me? He thought. Maybe that was a dangerous thought. He wasn't even sure where it came from. Maybe it had something to do with the day at the cemetery, when he touched her face. He saw her crying for him not just for herself. It touched him in some way he couldn't explain. He felt closer to her for a moment but now that she had pulled back he was a little frustrated by it, especially if that meant she was going to give her father another chance. He was lost in thought as he was leaving the kitchen, he didn't hear Y/N approaching. He bumped into her by accident and his beer spilt on her shirt and exploded onto the ground when he dropped it. She gasped when the beer splashed on her pants as well. She pinched the dry parts of her shirt and pulled it from her skin. "Shit, I'm so sorry Y/N I didn't see you there." He said. "It's alright, I should've been louder I guess." Junmyeon grabbed a napkin and hurried to pat her shirt down until he realized he was patting along her breasts. He stopped and laughed awkwardly and handed her the napkin, "Maybe I better let you do that." "Yeah. Thanks." Junmyeon scrambled to get his beer cleaned up as Y/N made her way into the living room and took a seat. She slipped off her socks that had gotten wet as well and sat with them in her hand. She turned the TV on, now giving the room some noise. He finished cleaning up and walked over, "Glad to know you're so comfortable here you can just turn the TV on." He chuckled. Staring at the TV, fliping through channels she said, "I thought you said you'd stop teasing me." "I wasn't teasing," he sat down. "I'm just making an observation." She had turned on a drama to start watching. She must've hit a dead end in her project, that or they really had been working on it for too long. They had been working for at least two and a half hours straight. The time went by so fast, it probably didn't seem like they had spent that much time working until he got up. Junmyeon had retrieved a new beer and sipped on it while watching the drama with her. His arm instinctively relaxed on the back of the couch. He noticed she shifted in her seat for a moment, almost like she was avoiding him. He set his beer down on the table and said, "Y/N why are you doing that to me?" "Doing what?" She asked, still watching TV almost as if not taking him seriously. Or maybe she wanted to avoid eye contact with him. "Why are you avoiding me?" "Who's avoiding? I've been here doing a project with you and now I'm watching TV with you, how is that avoiding?" She tugged at the bottom of her shirt raising the wet part off of her body. He still felt bad about that even though he never heard her coming. She was as sneaky as her cat. "You don't talk to me much" he said. "It's not like we've talked much to each other before. What conversation we did have involved insults being passed around like a bong at a frat party." He chuckled at the reference, it seemed out dated but she was right. He wanted to talk to her now. The main thing that was on his mine was, is she alright but he didn't want to ask it. He was afraid if he did, he might upset her. She was staring at the TV the entire time she spoke with him though, and that was annoying him. He grabbed the remote and shut the TV off, which finally gave him her attention. "What?" She said. "Can't you at least respect me enough to look at me when we talk?" "I'm looking at you now." "Are you that annoyed that I got you wet?" "Excuse me?" she said, her eyebrows raised. Junmyeon rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean...Unless?" He added suggestion in his voice with the last bit even though he knew he didn't do anything to her to turn her on. At least, he didn't think he did. She smiled though, finally seeming to relax the tension he was feeling and said, "No, I know what you meant I was just messing with you. I'm not annoyed with you Junmyeon. I think you're just reading into things." "I don't think so. You've always been different towards me, ever since we met. You seem so loving with others, so why do I get the feeling that you're always trying to shun me?" She faced him more and took in a breath before she said, "I think the bigger question is, why do you feel the need to be liked by everyone? Or more specifically, me?" It was a good question. He had never felt himself to be a narcissist but as she asked that it took him back to how he felt when she was speaking to Siwon. He wanted her to look at him the same way for some reason. Something was churning in his gut that he didn't understand. For some reason, he wanted to be wanted by her. He couldn't pin point where this feeling was stemming from. He wondered if it had always been there. He looked deep into her honey crisp rounded eyes. Some how they looked doe like to him as she stared back. She looked innocent, he started wondering did her mother drive her father crazy with that look. Were those eyes the reason he had fallen in love with her? In love? Was that what he was feeling? There was no way, the feeling of love wasn't that foreign to him. He loved his grandparents but falling in love was much different and definitely uncharted territory for him. He liked the way she looked, he always had even if he never told her. He was drawn to her when he fist saw her in the apartment talking to Minseok. It had more to do with how cheery she was. That's what made him want to join in on the conversation in the first place. By the time he gathered himself together to sit down by her the mood between them had already changed. He was annoyed that she didn't resume that same demeanor when he sat down though, even as Minseok changed the subject. He supposed he always did tease her because sometimes there was something he said that made her laugh at him. He never noticed how that made him feel though. No, he couldn't be falling in love with her. Yet, his chest felt a little tight as he stared back at her. He had gotten so deep in his head that he cleared his throat and stood up quickly. "Let me get you one of my t-shirts. Looks like you don't like wet clothes." He said. It was his excuse to get away from her for a moment. He took his time getting the shirt too. There was a knock on the door just as he was coming back out of his room. He handed her the shirt and went to answer it. He was surprised to find both his grandparents standing at the door. His grandmother opened her arms wide, "Hello Myeonie!" She said. She wore a giant smile and gave him a big hug. He was so glad to see them too. "Hey grandma Ji Ji. Hi gramps, why didn't you guys tell me you were coming?" He said. He stepped aside to let them in and then walked with him deeper into the house. "We were out and around here so we thought we would surprise you. We're glad your home." His grandmother said. "Yeah, I got some hours on my shift cut back so I could work on this school project-" "Oh are we interrupting your work?" His grandmother asked. "No not at all. Actually, I just took a break. Anyway, I'm always happy to see you guys." He said. "That's good. Have you eaten?" His gramps said. "Uh no, not yet. Do you want to go out to-" "Oh! You have company." Y/n said. Junmyeon turned around to see she had come out wearing his white t-shirt. He was actually happy that his grandparents wouldn't be able to tell one way or another that it was his. His grandfather wasn't a subtle person and he would've assumed they were doing something they weren't. "Oh Y/N, these are my grandparents from my mother's side. This is my grandmother Lee Jimin. I call her Ji Ji." Junmyeon said. "Which you're welcome to call me as well." Grandma Ji Ji said with a smile. Y/N smiled big, that smile that she'd given Siwon and so many others. What was it about him that he wasn't getting that same reaction. It was annoying that he was the only one that seemed to notice it. Did she even know she was doing it? Even if she didn't, what did that have to say about the way she felt about him? Was he really that annoying to her? He did have a habit of being cruel to her though, perhaps it would take more time for her to adjust. Y/N had bowed to his grandmother and said, "It's very nice to meet you." Junmyeon continued with the introduction, "And this is my gramps, Lee Junwon." "Nice to meet you as well Lee-nim." She said. She offered another bow with the same pretty smile. Pretty? It was a pretty smile. He might've gone as far as to say beautiful but only in his head. When did he start thinking these things, he could only wonder. "Yah, why are you so formal to them but not me?" He whined. She chuckled which was a far more light hearted mood than before. "Hey, we were going to go out to get something to eat, did you want to join us?" He asked. "Oh no that's okay it's your family time I wouldn't want to intrude." "Oh nonsense child, we'd love to have you join us. Any friend of Junmyeon is welcome." Ji ji said. Y/N smiled politely and said, "Alright. Junmyeon do you mind if I leave my stuff here though?" "Sure, no one will go in my room." She grinned at him like she had a joke to say but stopped herself because of present company. They all left the flat and jumped into his grandparents car. Grandmother Ji Ji was talking about somethings she remembered about Junmyeon while he was a child which made Y/N laugh. He was embarrassed that she was giving away such secrets and giving Y/N ammo to use on him later. His grandparents had lots of questions regarding Y/N like how they met and what she did in school. He had no idea that she worked a late shift at bar as a bartender but he never asked. He found out she was looking to start a non profit organization for abused children. Her aspiration was to give them housing while allowing siblings to stay together rather than be separated by the foster system. She wanted to make sure that even if they weren't adopted by family members or couldn't be taken in by other family members that they had a stable home and were taught well. She admitted she was stilling planning out all she wanted to do but she was happy that her business degree was helping with all of that. Junmyeon's goals weren't nearly as noble as hers were. He wanted to be able to own a business, any business that would allow him to take care of his grandparents and live life happily. He didn't really consider others in his plans. He just wanted to be something other than the little boy that lost his parents in such a tragic way. On the way to the restaurant, Junmyeon heard Y/N laugh and talk as if she'd known his grandparents for years. It was still annoying to him that she was so much more relaxed with everyone else than she was with him. She did seem to warm up a little around him though. She didn't mind sitting next to him in the restaurant and she smiled at him as she spoke to the table. She smiled at him the way he wanted her to smile at him. He was startled again by the way it felt to see her smile back at him. The way she looked when she was happy was drastically different from when she was terrified. He felt like if he had the ability to keep her this happy in life he would; he'd do it every opportunity he could. If he could make her smile permanent, he would. She caught him staring again, he didn't realize he was. He didn't even notice that his grandfather got up to use the restroom. She looked at him giggling from something his grandmother said, "What?" She asked. Her large grin and rounded eyes were alluring, like a innocent babydoll. Those eyes had to have drove her father wild, if she looked just like her mother, he understood why he lost himself when she walked out on them. Though, he didn't know what type of woman her mother was, he was seeing what a gentle soul she was and despite being fragile, she was captivating enough to lose himself. Her skin was soft, he remembered holding her cheeks when she was crying, her cheeks had become a little rosey as he held her face but she was soft. Her cheeks were puffy, squishy. Just as he remembered that touch, he smiled at her. "What?" She asked again. "Nothing," he said. He was almost bashful as he looked away. He cleared his throat and made a B line to the restroom after excusing himself. He could only imagine what his grandmother might say to her but right now he needed advice from the one person in the world he trusted more than anything. Junmyeon entered the bathroom seeing his grandfather washing his hands. "Gramps, I need to talk to you." He said. "In here?" He chuckled. "Yeah, it'll only take a second though." "Alright son, what is it?" "How did you know- when you were in love with grandmother I mean?" "Well that's hard to say," His grandfather thought for a moment as if searching through his history records of that very day. The moment he fell in love. Junmyeon wasn't sure that's what it was but he was feeling something strongly towards her and he was doing everything he could not to kiss her. He had never resisted such an urge but he didn't want to risk scaring her off either, not after she had finally smiled at him the way he so desperately wanted her too. "I suppose I knew I loved her when I realized I didn't want to live without her." Junmyeon looked at him confused. His grandfather laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It was more than that, I didn't want to live without her actually. I just couldn't live without her. Her most annoying traits had become features about her that excited me the most. She made me feel alive when I was around her. She still does." He said. Junmyeon looked down discouraged. He didn't feel any of that for Y/N. Not at the moment at least, he felt protective of her though. He didn't want anyone to harm her, not even her father. Still, there was a throbbing in his chest even as he thought about her. His grandfather sensed that he didn't give him the answer he was hoping for and patted his back, "Don't worry son, when you know you'll know. Just try asking her out on a date." He said. Junmyeon looked at his grandfather suspiciously and his grandfather smiled back. If anyone could pick up how he was feeling and who he was feeling it for, it would be his gramps. He smiled back and they walked out of the bathroom together. There was someone who had stopped by the table and Y/N's face was lit up as she was talking to him. It wasn't the Siwon guy that he had seen before. She was very interested in what he had to say though and she was laughing so hard she covered her mouth. When they made it over to the table, Y/N looked at him and said, "Junmyeon this is Ryeowook. Wookie this is my project partner. He's also Minseok's roommate." "Oh, hi! Nice to meet you." He said. Junmyeon bowed politely, "Nice to meet you too." Y/N popped out of her seat and let Junmyeon scoot inside so she could finish talking to Ryeowook. He felt like he was invisible at the moment. It was starting to crush him a little. "Uh, listen I better go before Heechul gets back." Ryewook said a little weary. She crossed her arms and sounded intrigued, "Oh he's here?" "Yeah, I don't want to make you uncomfortable though." "I wouldn't be. We broke up four months ago I'm over it. Besides, I've missed you two so much, my cutie Wookie!" She sounded cute as she pinched Ryeowook's cheeks. She was friends with her ex's friends? That was odd to him. That also meant that her and Siwon weren't actually an item, old or current. Minseok did tell him she went through a break up. Her friend seemed to blush as she teased him cutely but they also seemed like they were as close as Siwon and her used to be. It was a secret Junmyeon wanted to discover; how does he get close to her? At this point, he seemed obsessed with the idea of getting Y/N's attention he just wasn't sure if it was because it was directed else where, if it was because they experienced a similar past or if it was because he was developing feelings for her. He started wishing he had spent time alone with her. "Oh, here he comes. I better get going." "See yah, tell Siwon to stop by any time okay? Lady misses him." She beamed. Her friend laughed and waved goodbye to her before heading to her ex. Y/N took her seat by Junmyeon again and resumed speaking with his grandparents. Junmyeon wanted to get a better look at the guy that she used to date. He looked over her shoulder, he looked a few years older than both of them. Her ex had turned back to see Junmyeon staring at him. Junmyeon felt territorial for a moment. There was a look in her ex's eye that he didn't like, it was almost the same kind of look he saw in her father's eye when he arrived at her front door. That look made him sick. Junmyeon's arm wrapped around the back of her seat like he was marking his territory and telling her ex to stay away. "Isn't that right Junmyeon? " his grandmother chuckled. Junmyeon looked back at her a little surprised, "Huh?" "We were talking about favorite foods. Yours is japchae right? " she said. "Oh, yeah. Actually, Y/N made some for dinner one night. It was the best japchae I ever tasted." "Really, we'll have to try it someday." His gramps said. Y/N's smile beamed like a ray of sunshine. It was like she was so proud that someone wanted to taste her cooking. "I'd love to have you all over one night to try it!" She said. "We can arrange a date right?" Junmyeon asked. "Of course!" "Oh darling, you must let me bring dessert then." Grandma Ji ji said. "She actually makes the best moon pies in all of Seoul." Junmyeon confirmed. "Sounds like a dinner plan to me. Let me know whenever you're free we can set up a night." Junmyeon actually liked how well his grandparents took to Y/N. He took to her well too. He was definitely feeling a much different way about her now than he had before. After they had finished eating, Junmyeon's grandparents dropped them back off at his flat and Y/N came inside with him to get her things. Minseok had classes earlier that day and work that night so it was obvious he wouldn't be home but neither one of them knew what Jongin was up too. Y/N was gathering all her stuff together when Junmyeon thought he might take a moment to really test what he was feeling. "So how did you like going out with my grandparents?" He asked. "Oh I really like them. I was seriously about the dinner night too. If you all ever want to drop by, just give me a heads up about it. I'd love to have them over." "You seem to be cheerier than before." She nodded with a huge smile. "That's the first time I've ever been around someone's family and felt so welcome. Today was like- being in a dream. Like I got to experience what I always wanted to experience when I was little....It was like I was with family," "My grandparents tend to have that affect on people." he said. She hummed as if day dreaming about being around them again. "Were they the only ones you liked being around today?" He asked stepping up to her. "Hm? What do you mean?" He came closer and his voice lowered almost to a whisper as he gazed into her eyes. "I mean did you enjoy being out with me?" "Yeah, you're more interesting than I gave you credit for." She chuckled. "So let me ask you this," he cupped her cheek again, like he did the day at the cemetery, "does being with me make you feel anything?" Her eyes widened a little, they looked doey that way. Wide, surprised and glittering. She was still like she was just now recognizing how close he was to her. She took in a shaky breath but he couldn't tell if that meant she was turned on or scared. "Like what?" She whispered. "Like how I feel?" He dipped his head down hovering over her lips. "How do you feel?" "Like I want to kiss you...Can I?" The question must've taken her by surprise. She swallowed and her lips parted again with labored breath like her heartbeat started to run away from her. He teased like he'd kiss her hoping to coax an answer out of her. He deeply wanted her to say yes, even if it was in a whisper. His body was aching, he felt excitement rush through him with anticipation. He never asked to kiss, he usually surprised the girl or he just knew it would be okay but with her he couldn't take any chances. He needed to know if this was okay. Everything inside him was hoping it was okay. "Yes." She whispered faintly. Junmyeon smiled, even though he wanted to crash his lips into hers and kiss her so hard he could draw out his soul, he didn't. He lowered his lips to hers and tasted them for the first time, small but soft. She breathed in like she was scared but their lips molded together and Junmyeon's hand felt the softness of her cheek. Their warm wet tongues caressed each other and Junmyeon's heart pounded in his chest. He felt heat rise through his body and that feeling he felt in the restaurant returned again. He wanted her. He wanted her so bad he wanted to scoop her up and take her without asking but he forced himself to be patient, to enjoy the taste of her on his lips like a savory candy. He kissed her long and took his time before pulling away as if he would never get this chance again. He was hoping to get this chance again. It felt like his heart was in his throat as he reluctantly broke the kiss. He looked into her eyes, her pupils now blown up which made him stir below. She looked hypnotized like he caught her under a spell. "Don't hurt me," She whispered. "I don't think I can survive being hurt again." She said. "Believe me, hurting you isn't anywhere in my plans." "What is?" He smiled, lifted her chin and brought his lips to her ear. "Will you let me have you tonight?" He pulled away to look at her face, she looked stunned he even asked her. She looked like she was conflicted between her body wanting to say yes and her mind saying no. She looked scared but she also looked like she wanted to allow it to happen. She looked uncertain. She must've been questioning him in her mind. "Will you be gentle?" she whispered. He smiled and brushed hair behind her ear, "Of course." She looked like she was still thinking her decision through before she looked back at him and said, "Okay." He was ecstatic she agreed. He pulled her close to his body, and kissed her down to the bed. Would sleeping with her fulfill this aching in his heart, he wondered, or would it throb even more to know her? Boss Squad: @royalpandajedi @Fromblue2u @Queenpandabunny @marrickej33 @BBxGD @Starbell808 @MelissaGarza @liyahboon Fans: @elishafisher @JaxomB @EXOahjummafan @StefaniTre @Yugykookie97 @dalenalw
❤ Vingle cmty Love ❤
Communities that between 5000, 10,000 members There are several communities in here that are very active! The presidents of these communities and their Editors have done an amazing job in bringing content and love to these groups! To show some Appreciation and love for these communities and their amazing work and activity! In the Month of activity and new people there has been so much buzz and growth in these communities!! Thank you Presidents for Growing and lovingly looking over your communities! ♡♡ ■•■•■•■▪•▪•▪• •▪•▪•▪•■•■•■•■ ■•■•■▪•▪•▪• •▪•▪•▪•■•■•■ Over The Last Month The amount of members is amazing for these cmtys!! Jimin:         Cmty Had 5104 With @BTSMicDrop as president, It has grown to    5818 members! Whoohoo Congrats with  714 new members! ▪▪▪●▪▪▪●▪▪▪●▪▪▪●▪▪▪ BAP:        Cmty Had 5162  With @MaeLyn as president, It has grown to     5193 members now! Congrats Girlie!! 31 new members! ○.○ ○.○ ○.○ ○.○ ○.○ Jungkook:    Cmty Had 5178 With @Yugykookie. as president, It has grown to 5986 members! Amazing news with growing the cmty! 808 new members! •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• Taehyung:      Cmty Had 5241 With @ VeronicaArtino    as president, It has grown to  6052 members now! Whoohoo! Congrats with 811 new membes! •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• TVXQ:         Cmty Had 5524 With @TaylorHill5    as president, It has grown to 5736 members now! Congrats! That is 212 new members! •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• Winner:      Cmty Had 6049 With @WinkonVIP    as president, It has grown to 6382 members now. That is great! WIth 333 new members! •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• Suga  :         Cmty Had 6660 With @VeronicaArtino as president, It has grown to     7605, Dam Girl! Congrats withgrowing the cmty! 945 new members!! •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• FanFiction  :   Cmty Had 6937 With @LiyaBoon as president, It has grown to 7272 members now! Lots of readers out there! Congrats on growing the cmty! Thats 335 new members •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• •●• Got7 :        Cmty Had 7605 With @Luna1171 as president, It has grown to     7964  members now! Congrats girl! 359 new members! •●• •●• •●• •●• ☆ •●• •●• •●• •●• Infinite  :      Cmty Had 8040 With @Just2BLoved as president, It has grown to 8146 members now! That is amazing gilr! 106 new members! •●• •●• •●• •●• ◇ •●• •●• •●• •●• There will still be 1 more Appreciation/tracking card for the Top Communities which are in the Thousands! They are communities that have been around and seen so many people come and go! These groups happen to be run by people who have been on Vingle for a long time! I want to thank them for being here on Vingle, sharing a common interest of Kpop •●• •●• ♡ •●• •●• ♡ •●• •●• ♡ •●• •●• fam tag! new updated list!  @SugaKookieV @StefaniTre  @SimplyAwkward @Starbell808 @SerenaArthurs @Sugasadamsapple @BabydollBre  @WinKonVIP    @Taekookimonster  @ESwee @Just2BLoved  @QueenPandaBunny   @Yugykookie97 @kpopandkimchi  @VKookie47 @MelissaGarza  @VeronicaArtino  @tinafalcon22 @tigerlily84 @Taekookimonster   @JaxomB  @divanicola05  @ynsamgwlk @rchacon19 @cns1391  @PolarStarr  @rocklvr @BTSARMYBOI @QueenyCrossGene Suga's Statgazers @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella Suga's starchildren @MelissaGarza @Starbell808 Taehyung's Purplers @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @SweetDuella @Jiminsnooder Taehyung's Purplees... @MelissaGarzaMatoki Council: @MaeLyn @Halsyeon @awkwardjazzy @QueenyCrossGene @SweetDuella Baby Taglist: @kpopandkimchi @MelissaGarza @ynsamgwlk @SimplyAwkward @SweetDuella   @JaxomB @MaeLyn @mitchix5 @InfinitySky @AlexisJ15 @awkwardjazzy @StefaniTre @JiyongLeo @axosrain  @Starbell808 @simpsonsamantha @AkiraMarie13 @QueenyCrossGene @cns1391
Trauma Ch.5
Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon What: Angst, Romance, Smut Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch Y/N's POV When you woke up in Junmyeon's room, you were a little disoriented. Your stomach was a little unsettled and at best you could remember Junmyeon bringing you back to his place. You remember having Lady sitting on your lap and drinking with Junmyeon for a little bit. The rest slipped off into darkness. You were completely clothed so you didn't really think you and Junmyeon did anything but you had the distinct feeling that something happened between you two. You just couldn't place your finger on it. Then, Junmyeon admitted you had explained things to him. Of course you said something while you were drunk. You felt stupid. It wasn't until he said that his father tried to kill him that you stopped resisting. He told you he'd explain his side since you told your side. You were about to find out something so secret about Kim Junmyeon it was almost unnerving but it was your chance. You were finally going to be able to understand why he acted the way he did. Maybe it would explain why he treated you certain ways. You agreed to hear him out. He gave you the chance to get yourself together first. You knew that just meant he didn't want to talk about it at his flat with Minseok and Jongin. You could understand that, besides your morning breath was annoying you and you needed to get Lady back to the house. You just hoped your father didn't randomly show up to talk about what happened last night. You didn't want to talk about it with him of all people. After you got yourself dressed and your morning routine was done, you sent Junmyeon a text. He ended up meeting you close to fifteen minutes later and you both walked in silence for a moment. You wanted to ask him what the story was but you also didn't want to be rude. You couldn't remember if he asked you or not last night. You wouldn't put it past yourself to just start talking when you're in that state of mind. You didn't get seriously drunk often, you liked a nice buzz to relax you but last night you were embarrassed and hurt and you wanted to forget. So, that mission was accomplished. Junmyeon seemed like he was lost in his own train of thought and you partly wondered if that meant he no longer wanted to tell you what happened. You both ended up at a cemetery; you stopped at the entrance when he walked in. He turned back around to see you staring at the graves to the side. He walked back over to you and held out his hand to you. You kind of felt like a child being offered a hand by a guardian. You took his hand anyway and he led you through the graves until you both stopped in front of one with that looked like an award from school more than a headstone. A rose that was wilted laid at the base. Junmyeon released your hand and walked up to the headstone and placed his hand on the top of it. "Hey mom...I'm back." He said. You looked at him hurt. You covered your mouth and let out a soft breath. His mother was dead. You could only imagine how it felt for him. Did he really understand what you went through as a child? Junmyeon looked back at you and said, "My mother died-- was killed when I was seven years old and the man who did it was my own father." You swallowed when he said that, it was scary to hear him say something like that happened to him when he was a child. It didn't seem to even slightly compare to what you went through. His seemed worse by a lot more. "Did you see it happen?" You asked. He shook his head, "My dad was really frantic that morning. He was always kind of rough around the edges, he was a real disciplinarian but that morning I knew something was really wrong. When I tried to run to my mom, he took me out of the house and packed me up in the car." He sighed heavy, like the weight of the events that took place where ready to cave in his chest. He sat down in front of the tombstone and leaned against it. You could see a hollowness in his dark brown eyes. Without the sun to illuminate them, they looked like black holes sucking in space. He almost looked like someone petrified and frozen in time by the fear. He continued his story with his eyes glued to the ground. "He yelled at me a lot that morning, especially because I was whining for my mom, then he just got oddly calm and told me that we'd all be together soon." There was a pause and his expression changed like he was questioning his father's actions right now. It was almost as if he was watching the whole memory play out and he was a ghost of the future making comments on the side lines. You partly wondered if he remembered he had you as an audience. "He drove us to this place we used to vacation at and he sat me down to talk to me. He was calm then, it was a normal conversation between a father and son but I could tell he wasn't himself. So when he left to go to the car, I decided to wander off. I walked for miles, I wasn't sure how long but there were some cops that saw me walking alone and started asking me where my parents were. I told them that my mother was at home and I didn't want to go with my dad. So, they took me to my place and it turns out my dad didn't even lock the door. So I ran up to my mom's room and that's when I found her- laying there," "Junmyeon stop." You said. Your heart was racing and tears had rolled down your face, you could hear the pain in his voice. He looked up at you and his eyes widened a little. You were sure he wasn't expecting you to be the one that cried. You knelt down to be on his eye level. He gave you a pained smile. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to relive it." you said. "Just listen... When they found my father, I was still with them. I didn't see him kill himself but I heard the gun shot. I saw his body hit the ground. My father's mental stability was so skewed he was planning to kill me too, the police were sure of it and then he probably would've killed himself. If I didn't run away I would be dead." "My father won't do that." You denied. "Y/N you've admitted he has bipolar disorder. I saw how he changed moods very quickly but I also know that he likes controlling you. I think he likes it because you look like your mother. It's his way of punishing her instead. He can control her by controlling you." "I'm not my mother Junmyeon." He touched your face tenderly, the brush of his finger tips on your face awakened your senses. He was close to your face, you felt your heartbeat trip over itself. It stopped and started again while he looked in your eyes. You saw something in his eyes you never thought you would've seen coming from him. "You're not your mother but I'm very scared that your father doesn't always know that. When his moods change, I don't think he can tell that the person he's trying to hurt isn't his ex wife and I am terrified that he'll end up doing to you what my father did to my mother." You were terrified of your father but you never had the nerve to keep him away. You acted more like him than you wanted to admit. When someone left you, you erased everything that connected you to them. You erased them from your life the way you erased Heechul from yours. You were even going to push Siwon and Ryeowook out because of what happened. You erased people and memories and that was exactly what your father did when your mother left. You were angry that your mother left you behind with him and she never gave you a reason why. "I come and talk to a stone as a way to feel closer to my mother. Are you going to make me talk to you that way too?" You smiled through some tears trying to change the mood. "You'd talk to me in death? I didn't know you cared." "Neither did I." He said seriously, "but I do and I know what that helplessness feels like. I saw how scared you were last night. I saw how hurt you were. My grandparents helped me with my PTSD and the fact that Minseok isn't trying to convince you to stay away from him pisses me off." "He's tried, I just don't listen." "Then listen now Y/N. Don't let him hurt you anymore. Just because he's blood doesn't mean you have to endure it." You shook your head. You wanted to break away from him, you had for years but he was your father. He was all you had, if you pushed him away maybe he would die like he said. Maybe it would make things worse and he'd show up at your place and kill you like Junmyeon had feared and maybe you got to go on with your life, maybe you'd be free of him but then you'd have no one left. You were more afraid to be alone than you were of dying and even as you thought that, you knew deep down it was illogical. You stood up and pulled Junmyeon up with you. You wiped your eyes and Junmyeon wrapped his arms around you to pull you into an embrace. You were surprised by it but you relaxed in his arms and heard the pounding of his heart. It sounded like it was running away. You looked up at him and he looked down at you. Your eyes locked and there was a moment you felt you may swoon just from the look in his eyes. The cemetery was still and the world followed with it. Junmyeon placed his hand on your cheek again, caressing it sweetly. His eyes started to follow the path his thumb took to feel your cheek. He bent his head an inch as if he were about to do something but stopped himself. Your eyes looked at his lips for a moment before they looked back at his eyes. You took in a shaky breath and pulled away from him. You pulled hair behind your ear as you cleared your throat, "Um, I will- I will try and...do what you said." Junmyeon cleared his throat and threw hands in his pockets. The moment had become awkward so suddenly. Junmyeon started to lead you out of the cemetery and decided to talk about something else. "So why was the cat at our place last night?" "My dad would've made a big deal about it. If I could pay for a cat then I could pay for my tuition too." "Oh." He sounded like he realized he made a mistake by asking that question because it all came back to your father's treatment of you. You were still shaken by Junmyeon's story and there was so much you wanted to ask him but you saw how hurt he was when he was talking about it. You couldn't fathom how much it hurt for him to tell you that story. "The funny thing is, I never bought the cat. My boyfriend at the time bought her for me." "Really? A whole animal he must've really loved you. I can't imagine why you two broke up." You chuckled, "He cheated on me." "Why is that funny?" He smiled oddly at you. "Because your comment sounded really sarcastic." He laughed with you and it seemed like the tension between you two had finally lifted. You both walked in silence for a little while without much of a destination in mind. You considered talking about your project but your project was about depression it didn't make sense to start a topic like that after everything that had been discussed. "So, I know it's probably not something either of us wants to talk about right now but I just have to know," you stopped in front of him, "Now that we know these things about each other...Where do we go from here?" Junmyeon looked like he didn't really know what to say. You were in the same boat but things were different now. He knew something about you that only Minseok knew and you knew something about him you were sure no one else close to him knew. How did it get to this? The two of you couldn't get along often, you competed to see who was smarter than the other and you were both... empathizing with each other. "Well you know something about me and I know something about you, now we've got leverage over each other." "I'm being serious Junmyeon." "Serious? Okay- seriously speaking, I think we should take the time to understand each other and watch what we say. You only annoy me some of the time but I know that some of the things I've done to piss you off on purpose could've really triggered you. I know better now." "I can handle that." You said. He grinned like he was about to say something but he didn't. There was nothing much left to say so you two stopped by a diner to get lunch and then went your separate ways. The conversation between you two was relaxed, it was the first time you two were around each other for a long period of time and neither one of you fought. Although, the competitive nature between you two didn't disappear you both found ways to compete in a healthy way. Junmyeon had to leave for his night shift which left you going back home. The silence of home, even with Lady running about, was no longer comforting though. Your mind jumped back to your father pushing you down and hitting you in front of company. Junmyeon never would've seen it happen if he hadn't shown up or if your father didn't invite him in....or if you hadn't mentioned your mother. You laid down on the couch, you knew full well you had homework but you didn't want to move from where you were. Saying you'd run away from your father was one thing but doing it was another. You couldn't help but think about how brave Junmyeon was for leaving his father and trying to make his way back home to his mother. He was only seven, you were ten and couldn't manage the idea of leaving your dad. You were older and couldn't manage it now. Your phone rang and the collar idea read "Father". You didn't want to answer it, you shouldn't have but-you did. You placed the phone to your ear but didn't say anything for a second. You almost thought to hang up but you finally mustered the ability to say, "Hello." "Y/N." It sounded like he was crying on the other end. These calls were too routine, you knew everything that would be said and what would end up happening. It was the same story with the same predictable ending. You really wanted to listen to Junmyeon and cut him off but you didn't know how without the big fall out. You felt as if you were damned if you do and damned if you don't because either way, your father knew where you lived and he wouldn't let up. "Please don't hate me ttal, I'm sorry." He whined. The sound of his crying was almost sickening to you. "I don't hate you papa." You said softly. You just hated that he hit you. You hated that he scared you and manipulated you. You hated that Junmyeon might be right, even if your father might not mean to kill you, it's possible he might kill you on accident. You heard him cry and say, "Please forgive your papa. I'm so sorry." "It's okay papa." Your tone said that you weren't interested. You'd seen him cry before. You knew how bad his disorder got when he didn't take his meds. If you asked him about it he'd lash out again. You didn't want to deal with that. You didn't really want to care. You were sure you didn't but you wanted to avoid more trouble. "Is your friend going to tell the police what I've done? I'll never be able to see you again. You won't come and visit me." He said. "Papa, nothing is going to happen to you....Papa," You wanted to say it, to tell him you needed some space. Your hand shook a little as you thought it. You didn't want to make him angry but that was the issue. You didn't want to do anything to alter his mood any more than it already was. You wondered how long it would be before he was overly happy again. Those were the days you tried to make yourself remember when your father lost his temper. When he took you and Minseok out for ice cream and he held your hand, you two were actually smiling and having fun. His highs always followed with lows that were painful for you to endure. It seemed worse when he didn't take his medication. "Y/N? Are you there honey?" He asked. You came back to reality and said, "Um, Papa you should schedule a doctor's appointment to get a stronger medication." "I'm fine, I was just angry. I don't need medication." He still sounded distraught but he wasn't angry. You didn't want to push him even harder. What were you supposed to do? You sat on the phone with him in silence for a while before you made up an excuse that you had to get your school work done. You had work in the morning and class right afterwards so you didn't have time to linger on the phone any longer. He let you go, apologizing again and telling you he loved you. You hesitated when he said that and he called your name to see if you were still on the other end. "I love you too papa." You said. "Good. You're a good girl." You could imagine a faint smile forming on his face. It was a sad pathetic smile that didn't mean much. You wondered if you had always felt this way about your father. It would make sense if you did, that deep down somewhere inside of you, you really dispised him but because he was all the family you had, you convinced yourself to push it down. Even after you hung up the phone, you kept thinking about what Junmyeon said to you. The fact that his father would've really killed him was terrifying and it was even scarier that he was only seven when it happened. It made you think about the real possibility that maybe one day your father's temper would get out of hand. You had to ask yourself the question, was that the real reason behind why you were so terrified of your father. Deep down, were you always afraid he may kill you? 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