Who: Reader x Kim Junmyeon
What: Angst, Romance, Smut
Story: You're just two trauma filled people trying to live normal lives... but trauma is a bitch
A few days passed by and Y/N was still unconscious, the good thing was that the swelling had gone down and she was now breathing on her own. The doctors were optimistic about her recovery. His grandparents stopped by the hospital once to see how he was and to see her in the hospital bed. His grandfather gave him some comfort while making sure he took his medication. He had to admit he was starting to flashback to when he was a child, the only difference is that there was no chance his mother would wake up. Y/n still had that chance.
He was sitting in her room finishing his part on their project. He spoke to her even though he knew she wouldn't respond. He didn't feel stupid for asking her questions though. He partly hoped that she'd hear one and wake up.
"So I was thinking about moving your statistics about the symptoms of depression to the middle section. We can go over how many people aren't diagnosed with depression as the first point and as the second point we discuss the problem of people having depression and not coming forward to talk about it. What do you think?"
Silence... he smiled,
"I think it's a good idea too." He joked.
He sighed and stared at her for a moment.
"Y/N...don't you think you've been asleep long enough," he stood up and leaned over her bed.
"It's time to wake up." He said.
She stayed still, her eyez closed and no response; he looked down with a sigh and sat back in his seat. He caught a glimpse of Y/n's finger twitching, making him jump up a little. He felt hopeful for a moment and came closer to her bed.
"That's it. Y/N? Can you hear me?" He said.
He watched her hand but there wasn't any movement. He came closer to her and took her hand in his.
"Come on Y/N, I know you're still in there, wake up." He said.
He felt her hand attempt to squeeze and his heart leapt. He leaned over her petting her head hoping she'd open her eyes. He waited a few more minutes but there didn't seem to be any attempt of her trying to wake up. He sighed feeling discouraged and sat back down. He really thought she'd wake up. He left the room for a moment to get a soda. He stopped by the nurses desk and told one of the women that he had felt her squeeze his hand. They said they'd send someone to her room as soon as possible.
He was gone for only ten minutes, when he came back into the room, he saw Y/N's eyes open. She was blinking slowly. He hurried to her side and held her hand. He smiled huge, the creases in his cheeks were so deep they almost looked like dimples.
"Y/N! You're awake. You woke up, I'm so proud of you, you did it!"
She looked at him, she blinked at him silently like she didn't know what he was talking about. She tried to sit up and pull the IV out of her arm. He grabbed her hand to stop her; she touched her throat wincing a little as she did. He told her to hold on while he went and got a doctor. Someone came in after a few moments and checked her vitals, her response to pain and whether or not she knew her name.
"Do you remember what happened to you Ms. Jeon?"
She pushed herself up again.
"Um...no...yes... a little bit." She said confused.
"What can you tell me?"
"Um....I was home.....the cat was hissing."
She stopped and touched her head, like remembering was causing her to have a headache. She shook her head and sighed after a moment.
"I'm sorry, that's all I really remember at the moment."
Junmyeon wondered if that was the truth or if she was hiding what happened to protect her father. She looked over at him for a moment and then looked back at the doctor. She looked like she didn't know why he was even there. She must've remembered what happened between them. What Seohyun said.
"Okay we're going to keep you here for monitoring Ms. Jeon. We need to make sure nothing major has happened to your brain function so we'll run a few tests. Don't be too concerned though, short term memory loss is expected for what happened. Do you know what year it is?" The doctor asked.
"Um...2018?" She said.
"Very good and do you know what month it is?"
"January." She answered.
"Actually, it's feburary now but I can give you credit for it considering you've been out for three days." The doctor smiled.
Y/N's voice was weak. It might've had something to do with a mix of her not using her voice for a while and her father strangling her to near death. She looked over at Junmyeon once more and then looked over to the doctor again.
"Can I eat?" She asked.
"Sure. I'll have something sent over to your room as soon as possible."
She gave him a weak thank you before he left. Junmyeon took a seat next to her bed and she stared up at the ceiling as if to take everything in again. She made a face for only a moment and then put her hand to her head,
"I know this was my father's work. Unless you want to tell me otherwise."
She spoke with a low whisper, like speaking at a normal volume hurt too much. Maybe talking all together hurt. Junmyeon let out a soft breath before he reached for her hand. Her hand jumped as she looked at him then she pulled away from him. She looked like she regretted her reaction but she didn't explain why she reacted that way or apologize. He didn't expect an apology, it wasn't necessary. She probably retreated because what she did remember was that they had slept together and, although the night was great, when they woke up the next day, everything had gone to pieces.
"Me and Minseok caught your father strangling you." Junmyeon said.
"Wow... I must've made him really angry then. I do recall saying something about my mother...That'll always do it." She said slightly sarcastic.
Junmyeon looked at her like she was crazy. Was she defending his actions? She had no idea how terrified he was of losing her. How all her friends were scared that she might not wake up. Minseok was furious when he saw what happened, as much as Junmyeon disapproved, even Heechul showed up to see if she was alright, though he still debated whether or not that was genuine. She turned to look at him, noticing his irritated face, she blinked and said,
"Y/N that man almost killed you, when I got to you, you weren't even breathing. How can you defend him?"
"You say that but I can hear it in your voice, weak as it is, your father is no saint he's the furthest thing from it. I don't care how angry you made him, he has no right to do what he did to you. We almost lost you. I almost lost you. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is?"
Junmyeon's hands started to shake so he rubbed them together. She noticed and turned to face him more. She reached out for his hand this time. He stared at her outstretched hand, she didn't move, she let it stay there. She must've sensed what was happening to him. He took her hand and came closer to her bed. She looked up at him,
"I don't remember much but I do remember what you told me. I know that must've been hard for you. I'm sorry." She said.
He sighed and he came closer to her face, resting his forehead against hers.
"Don't apologize. None of this was your fault, I just need you to be safe."
"Why do you care so much?"
He looked her in the eyes. Now wasn't the time. He just sighed and looked away.
"We never talked did we?" She asked.
Her voice cracked as she said that. He looked at her curiously. She cleared her throat but it was still a little weak,
"After we slept together."
She didn't remember? If he didn't remind her of what she heard she'd be angry later but if he mentioned it now, it would cause too much stress. He didn't want to lie to her either. He placed his hand on her cheek and said,
"Now's not the time for that." He said.
"If I didn't leave the house in the morning we might've had the time. It wouldn't have changed anything though."
"My confusion. I think the only reason you're invested in me is because we share similar pasts."
He shook his head,
"I can't deny that's what brought me towards you. Perhaps our connection is rooted in trauma but that's how every relationship starts right?"
He laughed at her confused expression.
"No, a connection. One way or another there's always a connection that bridges two people together. Being with you, being this close to you made me realize-" he stopped.
She looked up at him with her glittering doe eyes, they were wide once more and he smiled at her. He leaned down towards her lips and kissed her unexpectedly. It was a soft kiss although, he wanted to be rough, to devour her lips but her throat hurt. He could only take what he could get. It felt amazing to kiss her though, she made his calm heart race anytime she came around, especially when she looked at him with those big round eyes. Her smile could melt him. He loved everything about her. He didn't want to be away from her.... ever.
"Y/N! You're awake!" Eunha yelled.
Eunha came busting in the room leading a crowd: Minseok, Siwon and Ryeowook. They hurried to her bedside and Minseok hugged her. She chuckled until she broke into small coughs. The others had taken up her attention so Junmyeon took the opportunity to slip out of her room.
He was going to say it.
He started to wonder if she actually already knew how she felt about him; if maybe she was too afraid to admit it because she didn't think his feelings were real. He wondered if it was too soon to say it to her. His grandfather told him he'd know he was in love with her when the time came. He supposed the time came but he wondered how she would've reacted if they hadn't walked in. He went to the vending machine to buy himself a snack.
"Heard she was awake,"
The voice caught Junmyeon's attention, he turned his head where it was directed. It was Heechul, leaning up against the opposite wall from behind him.
"She's a remarkable girl isn't she." He said.
"What are you even doing here again?" Junmyeon practically spit at him.
"She may be my ex but I do care about her."
"Care? Is that why you cheated on her?"
Junmyeon's eyes pierced through Heechul but Heechul offered a smug chuckle as a response. He walked over to the vending machine, inserting his money before he made his choice.
"Y/N held my intrest for a while but I always knew there was something she was hiding from me. She found confidence in Minseok, which was only annoying because it was obvious to me that he loved her. So I had to ask myself, if she could share her secrets with him and not me, what else could she be sharing with him?"
"That's your excuse?"
He laughed again,
"There's no excuse for cheating but you can't honestly tell me you haven't noticed? Her love is different because it's empty- or shallow rather. You can tell there's someone else in the way, someone she wants more than anything else."
Heechul sipped on a soda he bought from the machine and leaned against the wall next to it. Junmyeon didn't want to admit he was right but he was aware of what he was talking about. However, her love wasn't for Minseok it was for her father; he took up the space in her heart. Her desire to be what he wants her to be took away from her being independent. It made more sense why she was afraid to give into her feelings for him. He was almost positive now that she felt the same for him but letting go of the hope that she would fulfill her father's wishes was terrifying for her. It was even more terrifying for her to try and enter into a new relationship if it was purely based off of her trauma. She couldn't take anymore hurt, especially from him.
"There's no denying I screwed up by cheating, even worse I hit her during a fight. After finding out what landed her in the hospital, it makes sense to me why she completely shut everyone out,"
He sipped again as he stared off into space,
"In truth, she was never really my type but she has this thing about her, like a gravitational pull. She doesn't seem real sometimes. You look at her eyes, her smile- there's just something."
"Not sure I want to hear this." Junmyeon grumbled.
"Because you love her too?"
Junmyeon's eyes shifted over to Heechul. He chuckled,
"It's pretty obvious, it's all over your face."
"Why'd she date you, what did she see in you?"
Heechul kicked himself off the wall and walked over to Junmyeon. They stood in front of each other like they were going to face off. Heechul was smug, too smug. Outside of his demeanor reminding her of her father, Junmyeon couldn't figure out why she ever loved him. Heechul smiled,
He started to walk off but then stopped and said,
"She kicks everyone and everything out when they hurt her. She may have let Siwon and Wook back in but I can promise you she has no intrest in me now. If it's all the same to you though- I need to know that she'll be okay. If only for my own peace of mine, call it selfish if you want but- she still affects me in some way."
"Tell me about it."
That was the first time that Heechul looked genuine in his expression, at least as far as Junmyeon had seen for himself. Heechul walked off and Junmyeon leaned against the wall with a heavy sigh.
A week and a half went by and things between Junmyeon and Y/N were frustrating. More frustrating for him than it was her. She at least listened to Minseok and followed through with pressing charges against her father but she also pitied him. It took everything in Junmyeon not to shake some sense into her. She chalked everything up to him being bipolar but he had the medication to help him with that and he willingly refused to take it. He made his own decisions in that effort. He couldn't get through to her.
Part of the reason that irritated him so much was because of what Heechul and him had discussed at the hospital. That piece that lived inside of her that wanted to be the perfect daughter still resided in her. He hated that. Anytime the conversation so much as sounded like it could go in that direction she avoided it. She with drew from him so now it felt like a heavy weight is pushing on his shoulders. His heart was heavy; was there never a right time to tell her he loved her?
He tried saying it again when they spoke about the encounter with Seohyun. She didn't fully remember what they had discussed, nor did she recall what it was that Seohyun said that made her storm off. Junmyeon had to explain to her that they were now officially done as a couple but, while they were together, Junmyeon had slept with her. Her disappointment had stirred again and that's when she pulled away from him. He tried to give her time, Minseok had suggested that much. So they only found the time to meet to finish their project and even that was about to come to an end.
They were in her living room today, Junmyeon gave her space and sat in the chair across from her while she sat with Lady in her lap. She wore grey sweatpants and a tie dye hoodie. She seemed like she was sinking into it while she read off her computer. Junmyeon stared at her, half her hood was on. She felt partly insecure about the spot where she got stitches, just like what Minseok said. Her short hair framed her face but it didn't hide her eyes from him. He noticed something different, the lack of a sparkle in them, like she wasn't in reality. He started thinking she wasn't reading anymore.
Where did her mind wander off to?
He recieved a text from grandma Ji Ji asking him if he'd like to come over for dinner. He remembered Y/N said she'd like to have them over one day; he contemplated asking her if she'd join him at his grandparents. He told his grandmother he'd be over and stood up.
"I'm going out for dinner."
He heard himself and realized how cold his tone had become. Being pushed out the way he had was making him act the way he normally did towards her. He considered that might've been what Heechul felt; although, cheating wasn't the answer. Junmyeon could understand why he might've decided to find pleasure with someone else though. He was too aware now of how much she had endured to attempt to tease her like normal. She looked up at him finally, her face void of all emotion.
"Okay." She said softly.
She still didn't seem all there. Her eyes shifted back to her computer but it still seemed like she wasn't reading. Junmyeon bit down his pride, the part of him that wanted to resort back to how he acted with her. He loved her, he was firm in that, he just didn't like being shunned the way he was. He apologized, he told her the truth, he was there by her side in the hospital. He deserved at the very least an adult conversation with her that might lead to a resolution.
"Do you want to go with me?" He asked.
She looked over at him again. Her face said that wasn't a good idea, she was searching for a polite way to say no he supposed.
"It's at grandma Ji Ji's. They won't leave us alone I can promise you that. Ji ji likes you too much." He said.
Her eyes shifted to a corner of the room. The corner where they found her unconscious and her father strangling her. She zoned out like that often now, like pieces to the puzzle came back more and more. She didn't want pieces to that puzzle though. It hurt too much to remember. She took in a breath like the next thing she would say would be a refusal.
She stood up and walked into her bedroom to his surprise. Lady sat on the couch watching her move. She came back out a few moments later wearing a pink modern style kimono. Junmyeon's eyes got wide as he watched her smooth down the dress at her waist. She slipped on a white jacket and said goodbye to Lady before they headed out. Junmyeon hailed a cab to take them to his grandparents; she marveled at their house. It was nothing big but the outside upkeep was beautiful.
"Grandma Ji Ji spends her free time taking care of her garden." He explained.
"Maybe I'll take a page out her book. I need a hobby."
Junmyeon laughed and opened the door to his grandparents home. His grandfather was in the family room watching soccer while grandma Ji Ji was in the kitchen. She came out to say hi but when she saw Y/N she squealed with joy. It even caught Y/N off guard but she laughed as Grandma Ji Ji came over and gave her a hug.
"I'm so glad he brought you along! Come dear, I want you to taste this." She said.
Y/N laughed as grandma Ji ji led her to the kitchen. The sound of her laugh was relieving to Junmyeon. The stale atmosphere between the two of them was too much, just hearing a genuine giggle from her warmed his entire body like he was defrosting. He walked over to his grandfather and sat beside him.
"How are you doing son?" He asked.
"Um-better. I think the worst of this is over."
"Not entirely, she'll still have to deal with the charges against her father. You'll be a key witness, can you handle that?"
"Honestly, I'm too worried about her to reflect on whether or not I can handle it. I mean I never did it back then, there was no need to."
"It's important to self reflect Junmyeon, especially in matters like this. It's more than maintaining your medicine; it's maintaing your mind."
Junmyeon chuckled even though he was right. He had to keep his mind straight. Concern washed over his grandfather's face. Junmyeon settled, wondering what he was thinking,
"Your relationship with each other might prove to be even more trying." He said
"Shouldn't that mean we'll understand each other more? Get closer?"
"It should but that's not always the case. You need to at least prepareyourself for that."
Junmyeon looked over his shoulder to see Y/N laughing with his grandmother. It seemed like peace had washed over her face but Junmyeon wanted to know what battle still waged inside of her? Her feelings for him? Her feelings for her father? Midterms were about done, he could only anticipate how she might try to start avoiding him once they didn't have to work together anymore. His grandfather placed a hand on his knee drawing Junmyeon's attention back towards him.
"I remember your grandmother being the most unapproachable woman when she was young. " His grandfather said.
"Really? Grandma Ji Ji?"
"Yup, she wasn't just a spitfire but her father was a large man that was known for his service in the military. He excelled because he was a sharp shooter."
Grandma Ji ji laughed as she headed over with Y/N in the living room. Grandma Ji Ji took the other side of his grandfather and she placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Appa liked to flaunt that he was the best sniper. He'd shoot his targets down before they even knew he was coming." She laughed.
"Oh boy did he try to get rid of me. He didn't like me one bit."
Junmyeon and Y/N laughed at their story telling. She seemed very relaxed and more at home than she was at her flat. He figured there were less echos of abuse in his grandparents home.
"I was so infatuated with her," his grandfather began again, "that I basically followed her around like a puppy dog begging her to go out with me."
"What finally made you agree?" Y/N chuckled.
"Oh me and my boyfriend, at that time, had gotten into a huge argument. He thought he was better than everyone else and because my father approved of him he figured he'd proven his worth to me but in reality he didn't know a thing about me. Junwon on the other hand had dazzled me by how much he knew about me. Down to the name of perfume I wore." ji ji answered.
"Who said stalking isn't romantic?" His gramps joked.
Junmyeon placed his palm against his face with a laugh of embarrassment. Grandma Ji Ji lightly slapped his gramps arm with a giggle of her own. Y/N was beside herself in laughter. Everything felt natural, normal, lighthearted.
"In truth, I never liked Sangmin. I dated him because of my father's approval but, when I finally took control over my own life, appa had no choice but to listen," she giggled. "Junwon was my choice and it took appa a while to accept it but he finally did. At the end of the day, it was my life to live."
"Although, I may have ended up winning him over because I ended up becoming the top aeronautics engineer in military." Gramps added.
Everyone laughed, the whole room was warm. Junmyeon was happy just seeing Y/N act a little more like herself, the way she acted around Minseok and Siwon.
"That's amazing." Y/N said.
"Oh I better go check the oven." Grandma Ji ji said after hearing a beep from the kitchen.
As she walked away grandpa Junwon stood up.
"If you'll excuse me, I need to go take my medicine before we eat."
Y/n bowed her head politely with a smile and Junmyeon mimicked the motion. She looked over at him for a brief moment, nothing awkward or cruel, just a glance before she took in the rest of her surroundings. She stood up and walked over to the small fireplace they had. Pictures sat on the shelf that was just above it. She took in each detail of each picture. She moved slow like she was in an art gallery trying to understand message of each piece. She came to a halt in front of one picture. She made a small noise the equivalent to that of a character just having a light bulb moment. She pointed at the photo.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I know her."
Junmyeon looked at her curiously and walked over to her. He pointed at the same picture trying to get clarification.
"Her?" He asked.
"Yeah. She came over to visit my mom sometimes when I was a kid. She never stayed long, when she visited they usually were out all day."
Junmyeon's eyes narrowed on her. He partly wanted to ask her if she bumped her head but that wasn't the case. Y/N looked at him,
"Well, it's just that woman in the photo- she's- she's my mother."
Y/N's mouth opened a little in shock. She stared at him with large glassy eyes. Junmyeon's heart pounded. Could this really be true? Their mother's knew each other? How is it that they never met until college? There was a twist in his stomach.
Were they always meant to meet?