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If Your Favorite Pop Star Was A Pokémon Gym Leader
Leader: Rihanna Badge: ANTI Badge Special Move: Diamond Storm What's her name? Leader Rihanna! If you're looking for love in a hopeless place, Rihanna will let her Pokémon do all of the talking. Leader Rihanna is known for shining bright like a diamond with Fire and Dark Pokémon types. First she'll make you stay, then she'll give you four to five seconds to recover, and then she'll take her bow after she destroys you. You'll have to work work work work work work to beat this woman of Disturbia. Leader: Britney Spears Badge: Venom Badge Special Move: TOXIC It's Britney, b*tch. You want a piece of her? Be aware, Leader Britney may seem like a womanizer but she'll hit you baby one more time. Leader Britney loves her special move, TOXIC which will make you wanna go until the world ends. Her ending line when she beats you is, "Oops, I did it again." The gym is like a circus as her Pokémon are practically her slaves. But after all, don't hold it against her. Leader: Beyoncé Badge: Alliance Badge Special Move: Blue Flare Who run the world? Leader Beyoncé! Listen, Queen B is known for her fighting Pokémon who will show you that her badge is the best thing you never had. You'll fall crazy in love with trying to beat her but Leader Beyoncé puts her love on top calling out all of the single ladies proving that pretty hurts. Can you see her halo? Don't get an ego if you do happen to win because she's flawless. XO Leader: Adele Badge: Crying Badge Special Move: Mind Reader Hello, it's Leader Adele. We all know that you're looking for that hometown glory but Leader Adele with her normal Pokémon isn't going to let any water under the bridge. When you are young, it's easy to think there's someone like you. However, rumor has it Adele makes her competition roll in the deep, watch the sky fall as she sets fire to the rain and she will take it all. You'll be the one chasing pavements as you run to escape from her turning tables. Don't worry, she'll try to make you feel her love even though she can't make you love her if you don't. Good luck. Leader: Sia Badge: Wig Badge Special Move: Heart Stamp You'll definitely feel alive when you meet Leader Sia. The Dark, Ghost, and Psychic Pokémon Reaper will show you that Big Girls Cry. This is the gym where fire meets gasoline, an exotic experience where Sia frequently hangs from a Chandelier as she triumphs over the battle. Don't worry about your elastic heart, you can try again for another opportunity. Just know you've been changed.
Breaking Up and Blue Valentine
Six months ago, I left the longest relationship I've ever had (six years) and it all started with Derek Cianfrance's Blue Valentine. One night, a year or so before the actual break-up, I thought it would be a good idea to watch Derek Cianfrance's Blue Valentine (2010) on Netflix. We both like Ryan Gosling -- as a human specimen and as an actor -- and we thought we'd enjoy it. As it went on, my ex started complaining that the movie was dragging on. She couldn't get into it and kept calling the movie weird, while I was thoroughly enjoying it. By the time the final scene came on (the scene posted above), she was asleep on the couch. The way Cianfrance cross-cuts between the past and the present lets the viewer experience two different timelines simultaneously. As the past and present mirrored each other (in the past they were crying out of joy while the present they were crying about their separation), I started to feel like that was going to happen to my relationship. I thought about our beginning and eventual end the same way Cianfrance had laid it out on the screen in front me. I met my ex outside of a Dunkin Donuts across the street from my house. They were with a friend of mine and needed a cigarette, "Reds, huh? You a tough guy or something?" my future ex asked me in a playful tone. I laughed and handed one over. We talked over black coffee and through wisps of smoke. As the night went on, we made plans to see each other again in two days. I remember feeling so nervous that I was late to pick them up. I chain-smoked two cigarettes as I pulled up to their house and honked the horn. When they walked through the door, I felt stunned. I couldn't believe this person -- I was so into them at the time -- was into me. I screamed a little bit in my head. We went to a Starbucks, sat in the parking lot, and drank ice coffees under the sun. This became our thing. We drank coffee, smoked, got drunk at night, and watched movies. And without any warning, it was decided. We were dating. And I was happy. Things started feeling off after we hit the two year mark in our relationship. At times, it felt like we were going through the motions. We barely went out to eat, we didn't watch new movies, we stopped going out to see bands play, and we rarely touched each other (all of these things could probably be attributed to my own problems, though). Everyday, we'd go to work or class, come back home, then fake our way through conversations until it was time to go to bed. Later, she got annoyed at me because I move too much in my sleep, so I'd push myself up against the wall and out of the way. Eventually, I bought an air-mattress that we put in our bedroom so I wouldn't bother her anymore. This was pretty analogous to our relationship. We were in the same room but we weren't really together. About six months ago I broke up with her in middle of the night. I watched a person -- a person I once loved -- fall apart in front of me. Last weekend, I tried to watch Blue Valentine again. I barely paid any attention. My mind was elsewhere. As I listened to the movie, I saw different visuals in my head. I saw our relationship being built. Like a castle or a fort or a giant skyscraper. I heard our laughter. I remembered all the nights we stayed out late. I recalled the first time we told each other that we loved one another. I saw our smiles but then I saw them turn into frowns. The castle/fort/skyscraper was being taken down. Bricks fell from the foundation until it crumbled. I relived the night we broke up. I felt all of the emotion she did. I felt everything I didn't feel when I was watching her plead and beg with me to change my mind. The way Cianfrance constructed the beginning and end of a relationship -- in this movie -- will never sit well with me. And that's what makes it a great film. My relationship ended with Blue Valentine. And I don't think I'll ever watch it again because of what it represents. I don't how my ex is doing or what my ex is doing now. But I hope they're doing well.
Why Hilary Duff's Clothes Shouldn't Define Her Motherhood
Stop slut shaming. Why is it that every time a mom posts a picture of herself where she feels good, the internet has to tear her down because it's too sexy, too provocative, or too inappropriate? Check out the picture that has garnered 118k likes and over 1,000 comments! Hilary Duff, don't let the haters get to you. The 28-year-old mom is under major heat after posting this photo on Tuesday of the outfit she wore to pick up her son Luca from school. Though Duff was feeling 'semi cute' in her very short shorts, tan top, and long trench, many fans had other opinions on her outfit. While Duff did invite her fans to tag themselves in their own #ootd, she got a reaction that were quite the opposite of what she had probably hoped for. "Hey moms! I came up with a semi cute outfit for school drop off! I usually roll in sweat pants or lulu lemons and look like a disaster but this morning I managed to throw something cute together and I thought I would share," Duff captioned the photo. "Cut offs or jeans. A light weight trench over a sweater or tee, cross body bag sneaks or booties and a pair of Sunnies! Now you try! Tag me in your photo (annnnd you don't have to wear such a serious face haha)." Everything from Instagram user señoritaatomasita writing, "I am sorry, the only issue that I have with her outfit is how tiny her shorts are. It given men mix signals about it's okay for them to cat call a female because what she wears. Plus the outfit does not posh" to other user simplelittleway writing, "I have always like her but no way is this appropriate. They look like panties. To whoever said the only ones bothered by this are insecure moms that never lost their baby fat. I love my body and I am thin. I however would never pick my son up in that. It's inappropriate for kids to see woman in their panties. Also I would not want to embarrass my son." Some moms are furious. However, not everyone has the same opinion. Instagram user iledahorsetowater wrote, "Rock it! What is up with all the negativity?? I think you are doing a fabulous job!" Even user shenry1977 loves Duff's style, "Your outfit rocks! Haters = motivators!!!" Many other moms commented that Duff is looking better than ever and there is no reason to retire the shorty shorts to fit a very skewed social standard. Women who support other women, we need more of this. But here's the thing, Duff should be able to wear this because she feels comfortable and it makes her happy. For a society that constantly promotes feminism and girls uniting with other girls to combat slut shaming and gender stereotyping, the negativity comments are doing just the opposite. A mom can be a mom AND sexy, pretty, cute, gorgeous, stunning, funny, and appealing. Just because you have a child does not mean that a woman should sacrifice her identity. Everyone freaked out weeks ago about Kim Kardashian's almost full nude mirror pick and it looks like the same haters have made their way to Duff's post. Leave Duff alone, she looks amazing. One word : WERK.