Contrary to what we’d like to believe, clingy guys don’t stand around with big signs on their forehead revealing their true nature. They are instead seemingly passionate, compassionate and even handsome creatures that treat you like a queen. That is, of course, until you try to break up with them. The warning signs of dating a guy who is too clingy are fairly evident, at least in hindsight, but I still chose to ignore a few early ones in lieu of my desire to be blissfully in love. He asks you to marry him after two weeks of dating. This rapid response to legally bind your hand in marriage is not a romantic gesture. Rather it’s a sign of fear that the more you get to know him, the less you’ll actually like him. He needs to strike now while the new-love buzz is still on high. He moves you to his place, far from your friends and family. Once you say yes to the proposal and order your custom ring, you start spending lots and lots of time at his place. He makes sure of it. Since your home is near your friends and public transportation, he prefers to hang out as his house, far from everyone and everything you know. He throws a fit when you thank the grocery man. Or talk to the neighbor man. Or if you happen to be heading down the street and say hi to the lawn mower man. Extreme jealousy is a major red flag that you’re not dating a keeper. He's likely to get enraged if you talk to or about any man, even if it’s your dad or your brother. He shoves a dog in the closet after wrapping the dog’s muzzle with duct tape to make it stop barking (figurative (at least I hope)). Those who abuse animals may be prone to abuse people. At this point I could no longer ignore the signs and called for our immediate breakup. The drama continued with several weeks of harassing phone calls and two arrests for his violation of the order of protection. But he eventually gave up, moved on or, if wishes come true, simply dropped from the face of the earth.