Mistakes
Tagged by @DeniseiaGardner in a make your own story challenge thingy... We were tasked with writing a story (not a short) about ourselves and our favorite bias (I chose JoonBug). We were also given certain things that must be in the story. *Warning, hella long* Here we go ladies and gents, enjoy. Sitting there staring at the phone in hand for nearly twenty minutes, pretending to play games and sneaking glances at him, I saw my chance. Snapping a quick photo, one of the few saved to the memory card in the little black cell phone, I smirked to myself and switch to the gallery. It was such a cute candid shot, an oblivious NamJoon. "Delete it or I will." His voice boomed out in the silent room, causing the electronic to nearly fall to the floor. "Christ Joonie." Righting myself and getting comfortable in the chair again ",And I don't know what you're talking about." Saying it matter-of-factly gave me a swell of courage. Courage that was instantly crushed the second he gave me that look. The kind of look a predator gives it prey, challenging it to run and give it the satisfaction of a chase. I should have given up, turned tail and just deleted the photo. "I didn't take a picture, I swear." I hadn't so much as finished the sentence and he was standing, inching every closer with that look. Chills traveled up my spine and I inched away, creeping my butt backwards until it met with the edge of the chair. A step, a simple step, separated us and he was taking his time crossing it. Giving me the time to change my mind and surrender. "Would you two just date already." Our heads snapped up causing the girl to squeal and take off. "Delete the stupid photo yourself." Tossing the phone without much care if it hit him or the floor, I raced off after the girl. - It was some time later that afternoon, I sat on the rooftop of the apartment building. The sun was just beginning to set and the sky looked like a painting. It might be the last time I see the sun set this way, in this place. "You can't wait inside like a normal person can you?" A bag of chips smacked against my legs and the blanket was pulled away for the briefest of moments. Cold air rushed against my skin for a single second before being replaced by his warmth. "If I'd waited then the beautiful sunset would have started without me." Without looking at him, I popped the chips open and watched the city around us. "When does your flight leave?" There was a silence after that, it was a question that I hoped wouldn't be brought up. We both shifted under the shared blanket, the uncomfortable tension sinking between us. "Seven hours." It come out more like a squeak, my throat tensed up. "How-how long have we known each other JoonBug?" Inching a little closer, I dug into the chip bag. "Well we started high school together, so three years now." We didn't talk much after that, just enjoying the sun disappearing beyond the buildings. The light dimmed out to nothing and our faces were cast with shadows from street lights. The air turned nippy, dropping several degrees and causing the two of us to push closer. How do you say goodbye to your best friend? Since living in this country, moving across the globe, he was the only one to stick by my side. Now life was taking a serious turn in the final year of school and we were being shipped off to another country. - All to soon it was time to leave, sleepy travelers milled around the airport. NamJoon pulled me in for one last tear filled hug, neither of us wanting to let go of the other. Nearly being drug away by reluctant parents, we finally made it to our gate. My phone was blown up with messages, from people at school and from NamJoon. I didn't check them, to scared of a breakdown in the airport or on the plane. We boarded, finding our seats and the tears found their way out. One last snap was sent out on my end, a photo of the planes wing over the city as we left. It held one sentence, 'See you again' even though I knew the chances of that were slim. Switching it to airplane mode, I stared out the window and let the tears dry up. Remembering the photo from class the day before, I opened the gallery to find a few selcas. They forced a small giggle from me and when I came across one with a message, tears pressed their way again. NamJoon had added text across one of his photos, 'Take care, jagiya' "This was such a bad idea." Sunny spoke up, huddling herself closer to me. Wind whipped up around us and lighting flashed overhead, a storm was about to hit and we were lost in Seoul. Sunny was a girl I met in my last year of high school, and although extremely dim sometimes, she was an excellent friend. How it was decided to go clubbing on our first day here, was beyond me and yet here we were. Roaming the streets of Seoul trying to find this underground club she was so desperate to see. "It was your idea. Sunny-" "There it is!" Her squealed out discovery and near violent tugging had me shutting up. Soon we were inside, music pulsing and vibrating in my chest. Sunny was grinning, moving to the music and pulling me to the dance floor with her. This was her kind of thing and back home, it had been mine for awhile. Our last year of school had been such a rebellious stage. Four days out of the week, we were drinking and living up that life. It got worse during college, between skipping classes and being to hungover to actually pay attention when we did attend, Sunny was kicked out. She never grew out of it but it was a kick to gut when she was gone, I got my shit together and graduated. "Stop being such a bummer." She giggled next to me, urging me to dance with her. Smiling, I complied and we started our night of drinking and fun. Dancing nearly nonstop and taking whatever drinks were handed to us, we were both a giggling mess. All to soon, I was tired and needed a stopping point and Sunny disappeared into the crowd. "Can I buy you a drink?" Not paying much attention to the man, I brushed him off and went for the bar. Water was needed at this moment. The man didn't go away, offering over and over to buy me a drink. After several refusals and a handful of eye rolls later, the man was starting to become aggravated. He roughly grabbed at my shoulder when I told him to get lost. "I think she told you to beat it." Tugged back into someone's chest, the man looked rather annoyed. "What are you? Her boyfriend?" "Yeah, I am actually so get lost." The man sneered at us for a moment before grumbling and leaving. Letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and turning to the hero of the evening, I was taken aback. "JoonBug?" It couldn't really be him, it'd been like seven years since our last encounter. "I should be the one shocked to see you. How long have you been back in Seoul?" He smiled, dimples fully visible. "I just got in today. My friend Sunny is helping me move in before she takes off for Busan next week." We spent a few hours catching up, swapping stories of embarrassing times. Remembering things from our years together and pointing out things we missed. Things like our rooftop dates, as he called them, and fighting over when I took pictures of him. Sunny found us and insisted we head home, she was tired of creeps hitting on her. NamJoon decided to walk us home, saying three drunks are better that two. We didn't refuse, even having a drunk guy along was better than no guy at all when two girls were barely able to hold themselves up. My dimwitted friend was out the second she flopped onto the couch, heel still dangling from her foot. Through stifled giggles and tripping, I manged to get her heels back to the front door and kick my own off. NamJoon followed me around, making sure I never ate the floor. "How come we never dated in high school?" It was a question I'd always wanted to ask. "Hm?" He glanced up from whatever book was left open on the desk. "Well you knew I liked you," I tugged my over shirt off and tossed it aside, tired of the material ",And I knew you liked me, so how come we never dated?" Pulling the band from my hair, the dark strands fell. I didn't have a chance to so much as fix my hair and he picked me up. Capturing my lips before I could utter a word of protest. But I wasn't protesting, I didn't want to, and right now I didn't care. My legs wrapped around his waist and my back met brick. Waking was a hassle, my head didn't want to move from the pillow and it seemed to weigh a hundred pounds. Instead I laid there and tried to remember the events of last night. Everything was a bit fuzzy, which is to be expected after the amount of drinks I consumed before they actually hit me. We'd gotten lost but eventually found the club, much to Sunny's delight. Dancing and drinking and then more drinking and dancing, until I couldn't anymore. And then, NamJoon was there and we we talked. Sunny wanted to come home and- "Oh my geezus." Realization struck me like a boulder and ever so carefully, I turned my head the side. There sleeping, was the man I'd been in love with in high school and the same man I hadn't spoken to in years. Dread filled me and pure panic rose when he shifted, starting to wake. In full panic mode, I dove from the bed and into the bathroom, hiding out there. NamJoon cursed loud enough for his mumbled words to reach me and then he was moving around the bedroom, probably gathering his clothes. Finding whatever clothing was on the floor from our showers the day before, I dressed and summoned up the courage to step out. NamJoon was searching for his shirt with his back to me and however much I wanted to admire the sight, I picked his shirt up from the floor and tossed it at him. He quickly pulled it on before looking at me, neither sure on what to say. Several minutes past in silence, both of us shifting on our feet. It was awkward to say the least and we weren't meeting each other's eyes. "This didn't happen, okay?" My voice broke the silence finally, shaking at the end. "Agreed. I have a girlfriend and this was a mistake." I'm not sure what hurt more, the fact that he had a girlfriend or that he called it a mistake. He was right though, I knew that, this whole thing was a mistake. Going clubbing had been a mistake, drinking after years of being almost completely sober had been a mistake and catching up with him had been a mistake. NamJoon left soon after, promising to hang out sometime. It left a small hope in me that maybe we could be friends again. That hope was slowly crushed over the days and weeks that he never called or showed up. Days and weeks came and went, NamJoon was no longer a smudge on my mind. Until I got sick, it was sudden and violent. Throwing up and barely able to even go to work most mornings. When a coworker asked what was wrong, I told her and that day after lunch, there was a package on my desk. She told me not to open it until I was home, it'd save me the trouble. So I waited until the apartment door was locked me behind me. When the box was opened, I wanted to cry at the realization of what this was. Taking the test, one after the other, real sobbing tears were flowing. Positive. This wasn't right, I couldn't be pregnant. I'd used protection every time, every single time. "No, no, no" The first night here, the mistakes. The repeated mistakes of that night were here. After the tests, the doctors were next. They gave me better results, ultrasounds and even a due date. I really was expecting and it was a boy. No one at work knew, not until the final months when hiding it was to hard. Sunny was the only person who knew, she moved to Seoul and transfered jobs. She brought me to the doctors and was there to hold my hand through it all. Holding my hair back in the mornings when not even medicine kept the sickness at bay, bringing olives and chocolate whenever I craved it. Sunny was my rock throughout the whole nine months. So here I was just days from delivering and sitting at home, alone for a rare moment. Maturity leave kicked in just a week ago, Sunny was still working and the woman next door was out of town. It was raining both outside and inside, I was crying again. Something I did all to much and wished I could just stop. I tapped at the glass of the living room window, watching the drops slink away. A cramp hit me, hard, and I was doubled over on the cushions. Just as my muscles relaxed, another cramped hit and I slid to the floor. My cell phone bounced next to me, grabbing it up and calling Sunny. This was it, I was gonna be a mom. "SungJi! Your aunt Sunny is coming to pick you up. Don't you wanna hang out with her?" The little two year old was hiding, again. Lately he'd gotten into that terrible twos stage and I was loosing it. So tonight, I was going to hang out with a guy I met at the grocery store and some of his friends. Completely ideal situation but we'd exchanged numbers a few weeks ago and tonight was one of the few nights he was free. A few girls from work were going to meet us at the karaoke place so it wasn't like I was alone. "SungJi, I have snacks." Last resort but from the squeal and running little footsteps, it got his attention. The little boy came sliding around the corner and into the living room. A wide grin stretching across his face when he stopped right in front of me, waiting patiently for his snack. "Now you only get this snack if you hurry up and get ready. Find your jacket and shoes for mommy." Like that he was off in search of his things. "Would you look at this hot momma." It was accompanied by a whistle. "You think so?" I turned towards my best friend, pulling at the hem of the shirt. "He likes pink but this is the closest I'm getting to that." "It's cute but you can ask him yourself, he's in the living room." She moved to the fridge like having the guy in my house was normal. "Seriously? I don't want SungJi to meet him yet. What if my baby gets the wrong idea? I haven't even talked to the guy about dating yet and-" "We can try it out," His voice caught me off and I spun to see him holding SungJi in the doorway ",And he's cute. I'm practically a mom to six of my friends so I like kids." "Oh, Jin," A blush crept up my cheeks ",I'd like to try it out." "Gag me. Hand the kid over," Sunny walked over, waving her hands to take the toddler ",now leave. I'll lock up on my way out." She shooed us out the door. "You sure you'll be okay like that? It's snowing." Jin questioned, gesturing to my attire. "I'll be fine, it's just a short walk over." I sent a smile at him and tugged at the hem of my shirt again. "Ah, I think my hand is cold." Jin slid his hand against mine and intertwined our fingers. "Is it okay for you to warm it?" "You are a grease ball SeokJin." He chuckled and I tightened my fingers around his. "So how many people are going to be there?" We stepped outside my building and headed for the karaoke place. "A few of the guys I live with and their girlfriends, and one moping idiot." "Moping idiot?" "He never listens and his girlfriend just left him." Fat snowflakes caught in his hair and he looked like a real angel. "Ah, stop staring at me We're almost there." We talked about little things, how work was going for the both of us and what our schedules were. He was going to be super busy, traveling out of the country for awhile. I told him it was exciting to be able to travel like that, I never got to go to the big cities in countries I'd lived in. The room was already going, music blaring inside. Jin smiled at me before pushing the door open, everyone in the room went silent to greet us. Most smiling, others just nodding in our direction. Jin went around the room introducing each of his friends. "Where's the moping idiot?" It was sarcastic and I was on the verge of laughing. "Ah, he's over there." Jin tugged me towards the edge of the room and it felt like the breath was knocked out of me. "This is-" "NamJoon." His name crossed my lips just above a whisper. "Yeah, do you know him?" Jin asked looking surprised. "We went to high school together, I haven't seen her in about three years." NamJoon spoke up, looking almost starstruck and when his eyes skimmed down to my hand clasped with Jin, they darkened. The rest of the evening was spend in a mix of purposeful bad singing and awkward tension. NamJoon stayed in the corner the whole night but I could feel his eyes burning holes into my back. It was after seven when my phone started buzzing, messages from Sunny. She had a night class in just a few hours so I needed to hurry. Saying my goodbyes and convincing Jin I could walk myself home, I left the karaoke place. The temperature had dropped outside and with the wind, my outfit wasn't enough. Rubbing at my arms, my heels clacked against the pavement. "You always get cold" A jacket was draped across my shoulders ",and you always forget your jacket." "Go away NamJoon, I can walk home by myself." "We should catch up." "We're not catching up, we're not not doing this again." I stopped walking, my building just a few yards away ",Last time we 'caught up' you screwed me and never called again. Who does that? I liked you so much back then and you just used me. You had a girlfriend and I got left alone with-" "Mommy!" SungJi ran up, hugging my legs. NamJoon stared between me and my son, eyes wide. I didn't speak, only nodded to his silent question. He's yours. "Give me your hand." "Why?" "Just do it." I stuck my hand out, reluctantly and scared to see just what my boyfriend planned to do. He simply laughing, grabbing it and sliding something on my finger. Cautiously I looked down at my hand and gasped. A beautiful and yet simple ring sat on my ring finger. "Jagiya, we've been through a lot in the last few years. We're raising SungJi like a family so let's make it official." He smiled taking my hand in his. I could only nod, choked up by his sweetness. I should've known something like this was going to happen. He had me dress in something nicer and took me to my favorite café in downtown. My favorite time of year, my favorite place to go and now I could share it with no longer my boyfriend but my fiancée. So thoughts? Who do you think she ended up with?
