I left my husband and it was not something I wanted to do. I dreamed of getting a man who was like my grandparents. They had been married for over a 72-year marriage. I felt that I was more madly in love with my spouse when he died than the day of our marriage. I did not want to do anything more on this earth than to have a marriage that went the distance. I wanted to show the world, life-changing power of prayer.
Man’s Free Will
Over the last seven years, I have learned the most important lessons of my life. A marriage takes two people committed to God and one another. On the other hand, divorce only takes one hard heart. Judgmental Christians are out there willing to quickly point failures of others, even to people who are hurting deeply.
I realized that I was also one of those judgmental Christians. I am a sinner and in desperate need of a Savior. I learned that I like many other people have heaps and heavy loads upon ourselves, which are based on humanoid understandings of Holy Scripture.
I also learned that the God I believe in is bigger than everything. My Father’s love and forgiveness go deeper than every sin committed and that I truly am a sinner and in need of forgiveness. I just learned that all I need is a Savior. I learned the lesson that God is mighty enough to take any pain, heartache, and any twinge to redeem it. God will make something beautiful from it. I also learned that God is good to me all the time.
I frequently write about adultery and divorce because I experienced those things in life. I have experienced the redemption of my Father. I know this is not your life, and you experience a different life. I pray to God that you never have to endure any pain because it truly is devastation.
You cannot imagine anything unless you’ve experienced it. No matter what sin or the pain that you have been through, you can learn from them. You have the opportunity to experience a new life again, given to you by Father.
Because I divorced my husband, I am often accused of preaching heresy. I neglected certain scriptures in my life. I am told again and again that I am going to hell for what I have done, so I must repent. I have scripture threw at me, which tells me that I must pray for settlement. Else I am bound to be the wife of my ex-husband. The bond will only be broken until one of us dies. If I remarry, I will become an adulterer and will be forever condemned to hell.
As Christians, we should be careful about what we say to others. I don’t know the answers to everything, but I try to understand God and heaven. If I pretended that I have all the answers, I would be a sinner. I cannot explain what the scriptures say, but I can tell that when I look carefully at the passages, the ones that you use to condemn others, I see that you condemn those who have already suffered immeasurable pain while getting divorced.
Only if you read the context, you will know that in Malachi 2:16 the Holman Christian Standard Bible says words, “God hates divorce,” are not even there, not ascribed to God.
In the Common English Bible, it clearly states that it is not a sin for the divorced to remarry. Is could be possible that we all are using imperfect human explanations of the bible to hold people to standards that God never himself intended us to use?
God’s ideal for life is one man and one woman for the entire life. I also learned that God knows we all live in a world that is fallen. I believe that God came to this world to set the prisoners free, and I was also a prisoner because I was trapped in an abusive marriage. I adhere that God is the God of love and forgiveness and mercy. His words to a wife caught cheating are: “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.”
What is the response of people towards those who have suffered divorce? We cannot ridicule anyone and criticize them for being sinners. No one is righteous, not even one. Are we all standing by the convictions about the word of God? Can we all affirm that God’s perfect will is to see one man, one woman for life? Undeniably. I know I do.
But as sinners, we all must remember that we will be saved by the grace of God. Divorce is a sin but it is not a bigger sin than lying, greed, pride, and idolatry. It is neither a sin bigger than gluttony or drunkenness.
We all must not criticize anyone for being divorced if we are ourselves not the pious ones. We all should take an examination of our heart and then look where do we all stand? Are we all failing our Savior? Unless our vision is cleared, we cannot see who is a sinner and who needs help.
We Are All Sinners
Only if we could all see ourselves from the eyes of a holy spirit, we would all be startled at what he sees. We will be embarrassed and ashamed.
As Christian, we have all been commanded to love. The scripture is very clear on this topic, so are we following the greatest commandment of God? The second greatest commandment is that we should love our neighbors. Do we love our neighbors? Do we even love ourselves? It is by our lovingness that people see us as Christians.
It is time for us to stop pointing out the sins of others and start loving ourselves and others. We all need to love others as this world has never seen! We should be giving our time, love, resources, and heaping blessings to one another. Be Christ’s hand and feet and help the humans that are desperately in need of love. Give others your words of peace, commendation, and encouragement. Only if we stop proving others wrong, we will be able to see what we have become and done to ourselves. Live your life out of the gospel, and you would see this world filled with the light of the Savior. Our Savior!
I know that marriage and divorce are significant to the body of Christ; they reflect the relationship that Christ has with his bride. But let’s not ignore the greatest commandments of God that is to love yourself and love one another.
John 17 records Christ’s prayer for believers; it shows that God wanted us all to be united. God prayed for Christians and today as he included those who would come to know him.
His prayer was not answered, but I wish I could say they were. Instead, what we all see now is dividing going on, dividing over human interpretations of scripture, dividing over theological differences. Is drinking alcohol a sin? If you are like me and believe it is not, you are wrong. Is the second marriage a sin? If you disagree with a particular theology and my theology, you are wrong. Is homosexuality also a sin? Again, if you disagree that it is a sin, you are wrong.
Christ Prayed for Unity
Why cannot we all just put aside the theological differences? We can all accept that no one of us answers to everything. Can we seek unity for the greater good of the Church? What if we recognize that every human is worthy of love and respect because Christ created a magnificent being? Why can’t we all just discuss our differences and accept what others believe differently? Because we all love God just as much as each one of us can?
Why can we all focus on the pillars of Christianity? Christ was indeed the perfect Son of God, he came and gave his life as a ransom for many, and he is the only way to God—and let outlying opinions be just that?
When we look at judgmental attitudes of all Christians today, we feel that we are not acting the way we were meant to be. My heart breaks to say that we are doing more to harm Christ than we are to represent him.
My dream is to start pointing the world to the life-changing power of prayer. I want to tell people that they should pray to the God who hears our pleas and acts on our behalf? It is true! God redeemed my life. He breathed new life into me, and God has answered all my prayers. It all happened like nothing I had ever imagined. He answered my prayers but far beyond my wildest imagination!
If you are getting divorced, it is not an end. Your marriage that is falling apart will not end your relationship with God. It is a new beginning, more like a new chapter in the story of your life. If you keep God on your side, you will have so many blessings coming in the story of your life. Also, read how you can fix your marriage without hiring a marriage counselor.
