Dominance and Submission (D/S) A term for the behaviours or rituals that a submissive person follows in a BDSM relationship.
What does it mean to be dominant?
To begin with, you and your partner must first decide who's going to play the dominant role and who's going to play the submissive. It's significant for both of you to interchange and plays both roles so you can both experience being in control of your shared sexual destiny. Quite simply, the dominant role will demonstrate skill and power and will control the submissive role.
It's significant for both of you to play both roles.
The dominant/submissive dynamic is often also referred to as top/bottom. In BDSM, the top is the dominant partner who dishes out the spanking, bondage, clamping and whipping, and the 'bottom' is the submissive partner. However, bottoms can also be the more dominant partner by demanding the top to perform certain acts of their choosing and even insist on switching roles.
What does it mean to be submissive?
The position of the submissive lover is "one of trust and learning ". It involves "giving away the reins to your mind and body and allowing your lover to take them fully". As much as being a submissive is about relinquishing control, she is keen to point out you will not cease to have a voice.
A submissive lover should always expect a level of balance and to be able to guide sex within the boundaries of their own desires without pressure to exceed them. “Many people with sexually submissive desires have concerns about the effect it may have on their day-to-day living. We have a conscious choice to act, and by submitting to your lover in the bedroom, you will not find this choice has been invalidated. It is, in fact, widespread for confident and socially dominant individuals to act on their sexually submissive fantasies.
It's important to remember that by taking a sexually submissive role, "you are not giving your lover carte blanche to use you in any way they see fit". While couples choose to live in a 24/7 dominant/submissive (D/S) relationship, not everyone who has submissive desires has to follow this relationship structure.
If you're at any point uncomfortable
If at any point during BDSM sex or play you feel like your partner is taking advantage of your submissiveness, then you must tell them how you're feeling. You get to set the boundaries of your sexual play just as much as they do, submissive or not, and if you're unhappy with any part of play, then raising the issue is a must.