3 years ago
kristenadams
in English · 8,232 Views
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What To Do When His Friends are Jerks
You may love your guy’s humor, haircut and dog, but you simply can’t stand his friends. Now what? Before you take any action whatsoever, keep one firm fact in mind: You’re dating him, not his buddies. If that's not enough to help the situation, here come a slew of dos and don'ts for dealing. Dos and Don'ts When His Friends are Jerks Do: Give them a chance. First impressions are important, but if one of his pals made a memorable one by puking on your couch in a fit of drunkenness, you might want to try giving him a second chance. Perhaps when he’s sober. Don’t necessarily dismiss his pals after meeting them only once. Honestly try connecting with them to see if they’re really jerks or just seem like jerks on the surface. Make the best of it. If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, occasionally putting up with his friends may just be par for the course. Notice we said “occasionally.” You don't have to see them every day or even every week. A dinner out once a month or so is generally plenty. Treat it as an act of charity Don’t Lie and pretend to like them. Lying is never cool for a relationship, even if the truth is that you can’t stand his best buddies. Tell your guy the truth, but be nice about it. Also explain why you don't like them so he can see where you're coming from. Make him choose between you and them. Ultimatums work about as well as lying in a relationship. They don’t. The them-or-me ultimatum can also put him on the defense, making him vehemently defend and protect his longtime loyalty to his buddies. Hint: This means you're not going to win. Feel obligated to hang out with them. If the thought of hanging out with his buddies, even once a month, honestly makes your skin crawl, you can try avoiding them altogether. Just give your guy the space and time to go hang out with his pals while you find something else to do. Even if you and your guy share your hopes, dreams and love of Rottweilers, there’s no relationship rule that says you have to share his adoration for his friends. Just remember he doesn’t have to dig your pals, either, so cut him some slack if the tables are turned.
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3 comments
Luckily I like all of my boyfriend's friends. I don't know hoe i'd feel if I didn't get on with them!
3 years ago·Reply
10
Easy, good guys don't have bad friends, don't date guys whose friends are jerks.
3 years ago·Reply
@pipeline agreed!
3 years ago·Reply