When a separation occurs between two spouses, the role of each parent remains, and in this case, the term co-parenting is used. A child makes visible the union between two people, visibility that is irrevocable as an indelible bond is created that will exist forever. From the birth of the child, the system becomes permanent: even if the couple separates, each person will always play their parental role.
Co-parenting: what is it?
The term co-parenting is used to refer to the educational relationship that parents establish with their child, trying to be as consistent as possible in the education and management of their child, avoiding pitting one parent against the other and denigrating them.
The co-parents work together, choosing a single, shared style of education; they manage conflict in a mature manner; they put the good of the child first, putting it first after the break-up of the marriage or relationship.
Usually, co-parenting situations arise after a separation, when parents, although separated, necessarily remain in contact with each other, both for the practical management of their child's life, but also and above all for their child's growth and education.
Co-parenting is seen as the best way to ensure that children are protected after the break-up of their parent's relationship and is the safest way to minimise possible trauma.
Here are some tips on how to manage co-parenting after separation.
1. Move beyond mutual recriminations
Precisely because the parental role and function last forever, whether or not the relationship between the two partners continues, it is important for each to be able to move beyond what the other may or may not have done and keep the focus on the welfare of the children.
What both parents need to focus on is ensuring that their children have as peaceful a situation as possible, and this is achieved through the role models and examples of behaviour they set for each other.
There's no doubt that for co-parents, the management might become tough in many cases, and they would need some. We recommend them to use a co-parenting app to facilitate them a platform to manage their roles effectively and reduce stress and unnecessary issues.
2. Respect the agreements made
When a couple separates, there must be a clear and precise definition of the children's rota, including holidays and special occasions.
The time each parent spends with their children, together with financial issues, can become an easy area of conflict and therefore parents need to take responsibility and commit to each other to respect the agreements made to avoid them becoming a source of dispute.
3. Do not argue in front of the children and do not use them as tools
Unfinished business should be treated as something other than the children and their management, so avoid involving them in conflicts and using them as a means to express anger and resentment.
4. Consistency and continuity
Parents need to ensure that their children experience continuity of rules and consistency of parenting style whether they are at one or the other's home. Once rules and regulations have been agreed upon that the children are expected to follow, both parents must commit to enforcing them to avoid creating confusion and insecurity.