Thought Catalogue has become very hit-and-miss with me (something about the number of 20-something girls trying to "find themselves" is getting to me, I think). But this post! This post I loved. Darren Johnson, my friend, you have hit onto something. He takes his take to explore a few sets of English language oddities: 5 pairs of words we don't quite use properly, and even when we do, they don't quite make sense. 1. Smart and Swell "That's smart" does not make sense to say when something hurts: it simply doesn't! And it's not swell when something swells. 2. Old Fashioned vs. Newfangled "We usually refer to antiques and quaint concepts as being “old fashioned,” while modern, cutting edge things are “newfangled.” What occurred over the last few centuries that turned fashioning into fangling?" I don't know Darren, I don't know what fangling is. 3. Facial Tissue and Toilet Paper I'll let you figure this one out. 4. The Opposite of Discombobulated? "Why isn’t combobulate a word? Meaning NOT confused and upset. Cool as a cucumber and in control." 5. Pro and Con Are pro and con opposites, or are they not? Protest and contest can exist simultaneously: how?