2 years ago
uberwren
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Unorthodox Relationship Advice
“Go to sleep angry” It sounds like the craziest idea, but when you stop to think about it it makes a lot of sense. As do the rest of the down to earth marriage tips from Offbeat Bride’s article “Unpopular But Realistic Marriage Advice.” Having just passed the three year mark with my guy, and our ten year mark as a couple I can safely say I agree completely with this article and the advice they offer. I think a lot of the time we get this idea that marriage is some magical fantasy and you have to follow all sorts of rules to be “doing it right” when actually it’s messy, it’s complicated, and it’s entirely unique to you and your partner. And honestly that’s not even limited to marriage, all relationships are like that. I recommend the full article for the Offbeat Bride take on it, but here’s the basics of their Unpopular Advice. 1. Sometimes it sucks, and that’s okay. It’s important to still have your own friends and activities because trying to do everything together all the time will cause you and your partner to burn out. 2. Go to bed angry. Trying to discuss something rationally when you’re tired is unrealistic and will just cause unnecessary hurt. 3. Change is inevitable. Both you and your partner will change, and that’s also okay! Maybe you decide to cut all your hair off, get ten piercings, and go vegan. Maybe your partner decides to take up body building when they were a comp sci nerd. It’s not about having to stay the same or your partner having to stay the same, you can evolve together. 4. You and your partner aren’t a single unit, nor should you be. The idea of “two becoming one” is ridiculous and in my opinion detrimental to both you and your partner.
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@kristenadams If you forget how ti be seperate people, it becomes impossible for anyone to change or stay happy I think.
Going to bed angry is often good for both parties. If I go to bed angry or annoyed, I can feel the true reason behind it by morning.
The going to bed angry part is true- you can't sort anything out when you're still fired up and irrational. Cool off and come back to it later.
I'm a big believer in "if you wake up the next morning and you can still be seething over it, then it's an issue to actually tackle" mentality. Everything else is water under the bridge to be honest. Just a day in the past.
@Spudsy2061 exactly! If you don't care or even can't remember after a few hours it wasn't worth fighting about. And yes @NoctemOUT cooler heads win out or whatever the right cliched phrase would be.