DanielRivera
3 years ago500+ Views
sun shine
the light shines so briefly sweet wine share secrets discreetly love has but one truest form I see it in you when I see the sun that shines so brightly and keeps me warm Like the sun you shine so radiantly but in this love there is only one who cares so painfully waiting you pushing through my life is a mess ever since you left destroyed memories I dress I have given my best so as the sun shines as I taste the sweet wine I'll be by myself this time asking god, the sun, the sky. . . . why?
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I like that the last stanza is kind of an expanded repetition of the first? At first, I didn't get what the sunshine or sweet wines really meant to you, but in the last stanza, enough context had been built throughout to really give me a good feel for what you feel.
3 years ago·Reply
thank you. honestly I wrote off the top of my head wile laying in bed one night. I couldn't sleep and so I wanted to write a poem.
3 years ago·Reply
@DanielRivera I've found that writing when there's a lot on my mind finally let's me get to sleep. I'm impressed your night writing is so much better than mine.
3 years ago·Reply
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