3 years ago
pixiedust
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Why Friends With Benefits Goes Wrong
The idea of a friendship with intimate “benefits” has been around for years, and popularized by the Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis movie featuring the dynamic. But do these relationships really work, or are they doomed to end in hurt feelings? According to this study by communication scholar Kendra Knight there are four reasons these relationships go south that all stem from communication. Fear or being vulnerable. ● Intimacy carries a lot of weight with it, and the added complication of no romantic attachment can make one of even both people fear opening up about a change in how they feel. Getting jealous becomes stigmatized because you should have known what you were getting into, right? Don’t want to be seen as crazy. ● It’s all fun and games until one of you develops feelings and then that person gets labeled obsessive, crazy, or any number of other nasty things. Developing romantic feelings for a sexual partner is normal, not crazy! Defeating the purpose. ● You only got into this BWF thing for the benefits of a relationship without the drawbacks, so once it becomes just an emotionally entangled as a “real” relationship what’s the point? You’re going through all the trouble without the emotional support of a romantic partner. And it’s even worse if only one person is feeling the extra weight. Lack of communication. ● In the most literally sense, one of you doesn’t want to talk about what’s happened with you both. It’s understandable, this kind of communicating can be scary especially if there’s a fear of asymmetrical feelings, but avoiding the talking or being too heavy handed with it only makes the situation worse.
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it really all comes to talking, that's where problems happen is not talking and being honest -_-;
@Alise you are right on key I have been in this same situation with an ex boyfriend and it was hard to be honest or try to be disconnected from the emotional, mental impact of it all
I have a FWB now..and I tell ya..things r starting to get really awkward day by day..."complications"
@JudyMolly I'm sorry to hear that, now's probably a good time to get the communication going again. It may be hard, but it'll be well worth it.