It sounds counter intuitive, but there’s a good reason for this uncommon bit of dating advice from a recent Huffington Post article by Phoebe Fox. For the article, Fox had attended a local dating workshop where she heard the off beat dating advice, but it makes a lot of sense when you break it down.
Have you ever tried to talk to an attractive person and said the stupidest thing imaginable? Or you finally get a date with that cutie at the local coffee shop but you can’t shut up or stop talking about your family dog from when you were a kid? It’s a common affliction says Fox, we get in an otherworldly headspace when we feel we’re trying to impress someone. The problem, other than making your interaction incredibly awkward is this doesn’t give them a chance to get to know the real you. The solution? Fox’s advice comes in five parts.
Drop the mask and be honest.
● Are you nervous? Just say so, chances are your date is just as nervous as you are and sharing it creates a point of connection. You’ve already got something in common!
It's not a job interview.
● You’re not trying to give your date an oral resume of your life, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re in some sort of competition to be “chosen” by you potential boyfriend or girlfriend. Don’t try to sell yourself, just be who you are, whether you think that’s impressive or not.
Listen at least as much as you're talking.
● Conversation should be give and take, not one or the other, and you’ll learn more about each other by letting the conversation evolve naturally. You don’t need to get your entire history out in one go, let the facets of your life reveal themselves naturally, and learn about your date as well.
Leave your agenda at the door.
● It’s hard and it’s scary, but you can’t go into a date with a goal other than having a nice time and getting to know someone. A date should be an exploration, a chance to connect with someone, so don’t hold yourself back with a lot of expectations.
Smile, relax -- and be yourself.
● The best way to tell your with the right person? You can just be yourself. Be awkward, be goofy, be whatever feels comfortable for you. As long as you feel like YOU, then you’re doing something right!