3 years ago
rastatee
in English · 1,558 Views
likes 12clips 1comments 5
lost inside
how should I say how I feel, so lost inside with no seal, wide open with nothing to say, tears rush an run down my face, the wonders of her hits me, the way she thinks, is she ashamed of me, I dont feel apart of her life, im not concluded, im sat aside. its always my my my with her, weres ours, we'res all the things I, we planned together, I feel so lost an confused, is there a we, or a broken fuse, seem so dark, no light no jewels. there was once us but now I see, I broke us off, cause I feel misplaced an deceived, I said im done, with we, an yea your right jus yours an your life I see, now its jus me, free!
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5 comments
Interesting format for this piece; I particularly like the line "my my my with her, weres ours, we'res all the things I, we planned together." The confusion faced over who each person is individually is really clear.
3 years ago·Reply
10
like @greggr said I like that you wrote this in prose style, the rhymes feel more subtle but give it cool structure
3 years ago·Reply
10
thank you
3 years ago·Reply
10
@rastatee Of course! Looking forward to reading more of your work.
3 years ago·Reply
I think we've all felt this way with someone before. Great piece.
3 years ago·Reply
10