5 Songs You Need to Listen to While Making Out
Alright, you're almost there. You're in your weird apartment. They need to use the bathroom. And somewhere deep inside of you; you have this overwhelming feeling that you guys are going to make out. And you are, trust me, you are. But wait, you can't just make out to nothing.
The sound of lips smacking against each other in a drunken haze is almost as bad as the sound of someone open-mouth chewing. And with that in mind, you open the MacBook Pro and stare at YouTube or Spotify or Grooveshark or whatever you use to listen to music without actually buying it (because fuck that, right? Musicians don't need money, I do. This is America, goddamn it).
But you freeze. And your potential make out partner leaves. Geez, you wonder, if only I had a list of songs to get me started in the proper fashion, I wouldn't have lost this wonderful opportunity!
Well, wonder no longer. Here are five songs you should definitely make out to that will also impress them 'cause they're total hip-hipster dance jams. LCD Soundsystem -- All I Want
LCD Soundsystem's All I Want is the perfect ease into the making out session. The tempo is just upbeat enough for you to awkwardly shoe-gaze-dance towards your partner and smile (they'll find this endearing) and put your arms around them. Look at that, you two are too close, you're Trident breath close. There you go, now it's happening. The band is also just famous enough without being too famous, if you know what I mean, so your street cred will stay in the high 50s low 60s (this is a good thing). Slow Club -- Beginners
Oh, Slow Club, what would I do without you? I mean, a lot probably, but you've gotten me through so many make out sessions I can't believe it. I mean, this particular song and video. There's something about Daniel Radcliffe not acting as Harry Whatever that's so intriguing to people that just looking at his face, then your face, then his face, then your face, will eventually result you and your partner's face sucking each other dry. That's what I like to call the Radcliffe Effect (trademark pending). Chvrches -- The Mother We Share
I think I've heard this song on the radio once, so while that would normally be a bad thing, in this case it isn't. The band is just fringe enough that whoever you're making out with, will be like "nice choice" but, like, super ironically. I mean, they'd really enjoy the song the same way you're really enjoying the song but they'd never admit it. And you never admit it either! Say YouTube autoplay did it or something. Just keep your eye on the prize -- by that I mean: don't drool, that's gross. Phantogram -- Don't Move
Don't Move's tempo is so perfect for making out, I don't know what to say about it other than that. The little electronic bloops and bleeps in the background almost make it feel like you're in some kind of weird space ship heading towards a weird love planet (or something). If your respective hands aren't at each other's respective hips, then you're doing something wrong or you're kissing a literal robot. I don't know what to tell you, this song really sets up some mouth to mouth communication. Disclosure -- Latch
Latch is one of those songs that'll get anyone ready to kiss anyone else. I don't care if you think that's lame 'cause the song is pretty old, or weird, or silly. But kisses are kisses and Sam Smith singing along to this song is something that makes kissing seem like something so much more than just awkwardly touching your face skin to someone else's face skin (I don't really know any euphemisms for making out, sorry). There's something about this song that'll let you dance slow to that bop-bop-bop that sets the rhythm or you can slow up during all those boop-boop-boop parts. And the "slow up" is the move for this song. But then that chorus kicks in, right? And all of a sudden you're in some weird early 2000s indie movie about party goers in New York City and this is the part where you're making out in some rave warehouse. There you go, you did it stud. A couple of hip-hipster make out songs. Now, if you find yourself in a position where something more than making out is about to happen, well, I guess that's another list of songs for another day.