3 years ago5,000+ Views
They say true beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I don't believe it. I met an angel one time, she was the sweetest. She gave me reasons to breathe. She may have had her demons but if I hadn't known her I would have never known peace. They say true beauty is in the eye of the beholder but her beauty remained even with her getting older.
The rhyme in this is just as sweet as the meaning--I like it ^^
3 years ago·Reply
The opening of this piece with a clear opposition to a very commons saying (I don't believe it) sets the stage for the narrator to explore what they do believe: I'd love to see this extended. Great idea.
3 years ago·Reply
yes you are right. I couldn't bring it into play. I couldn't create the words to fit what I started with. you think I should try and rewrite or edit it? it was hard to make it the same plus fix that. I left the intro open lol. I'm new to writing though I'm glad you guys like it enough to even read it thanks!
3 years ago·Reply
I think just editing it would help you explore your ideas. I like to take each line and try to add 4 or 5 lines, and then see what I like, don't like, and go from there! I hope that helps.
3 years ago·Reply