WyattHaste
3 years ago1,000+ Views
Eyes like the sun and the moon.
Your eyes say it all. I can read them like a book. I can feel the energy radiate off of you in different patters with different moods. You're a string of radical words that form a beautiful poem I could read and never get bored. You glow like the sun and cast your poisonous rays on my skin watching me burn, but love is hurt, and you know that. You know me. My eyes show more than my mind likes to tell. You can read my emotions as if they were written neatly in a book. You string me together in a long list of radical words that work to build me up greater than I feel. I glow like the moon and pull you closer just to push you away.
4 comments
This has a nice, mirrored effect to it: the speaker can read another like a book, and they can read the speaker, too. The symmetry is very nice! There were a line or two that confused me grammatically, but it's on its way to being great!
3 years ago·Reply
which line confused you? I'd like to try and fix it. I honestly didn't see one but I'm uneducated so I wouldn't doubt if I did make a mistake lol.
3 years ago·Reply
"You're a string of radical words" sounds so groovy lol I like it!
3 years ago·Reply
"I glow like the moon and pull you closer just to push you away" wow, you have no idea how well this poem resonates with me. great writing!
3 years ago·Reply
10
4
2