4 years ago500+ Views
I can sit here and pretend with a smile on my face. Looking at me you couldn't see a sadness trace, all of it is a cover, hidden forever. To protect the ones who need not know, because inside is a knot that just won't stop it's growth. I feel it in my throat leaving me unable to breath. It's also wrapped around my heart causing it irregular beats,. but there's still hope ,that I have to believe! In every life there is a key, so I have to fight in order to retrieve. That's when the knots will loosen and set me free.
I like the flow of this poem, @Destinynot190 - the way it moves through the difficulties and toward a more positive resolution. It really follows the metaphor, just like the process of untying a knot - well done!
I think it'd be awesome if you had a little bit of punctuation usage throughout (it seems like there are some sentence breaks, but I don't feel them because there are no periods or colons so I just keep moving!) I love the words you chose, though, especially the knot in the throat. Great image! @Destinynot190
thank you @greggr
The imagery of a knot carries well throughout the entire piece: the tightening, the loosening, the inability to break free of it. Wonderful thought; thank you for sharing @Destinynot190
@timeturnerjones, thanks for your input I tried to fix it a little. let me know if it improved.
View more comments