Destinynot190
3 years ago500+ Views
knots
I can sit here and pretend with a smile on my face. Looking at me you couldn't see a sadness trace, all of it is a cover, hidden forever. To protect the ones who need not know, because inside is a knot that just won't stop it's growth. I feel it in my throat leaving me unable to breath. It's also wrapped around my heart causing it irregular beats,. but there's still hope ,that I have to believe! In every life there is a key, so I have to fight in order to retrieve. That's when the knots will loosen and set me free.
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thank you @greggr
3 years ago·Reply
10
@Destinynot190 Anytime! Happy to give further feedback anytime you'd like.
3 years ago·Reply
I think it'd be awesome if you had a little bit of punctuation usage throughout (it seems like there are some sentence breaks, but I don't feel them because there are no periods or colons so I just keep moving!) I love the words you chose, though, especially the knot in the throat. Great image! @Destinynot190
3 years ago·Reply
10
I like the flow of this poem, @Destinynot190 - the way it moves through the difficulties and toward a more positive resolution. It really follows the metaphor, just like the process of untying a knot - well done!
3 years ago·Reply
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@timeturnerjones, thanks for your input I tried to fix it a little. let me know if it improved.
3 years ago·Reply
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