2 years ago
AhmadBlack
in English · 6,926 Views
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Stars that fall for moons
They said she was beautiful, but they ignored the tears she cried, as her fears made her hide behind a porcelain mask. She glowed in the morning, rivaled the sun, she looked for someone in the morning that would say she's the sun, they only saw the surface. They did not see fires that burned beneath, the layers of a she born at the beginning of time during a time when stars were beautiful and could be seen in the sky, now stars live amongst us, she looks like you and I. Why would they only want the surface, and not yearn for the fire within? She dims her light, the fire burns, she loves without passion, these are the lessons learned by stars that fall for moons that are greedy and only steals light from the sun. She is the sun and I wish to feel the burn of her passions as she lights mountains that become beacons for the chariots of a love we both desire, let me drown within her fires. She torches me, I become a different me. I see beneath the surface, I see her. Rashaad
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5 comments
This is a great poem @AhmadBlack The level passion, and the different ways a burn can be felt are so clear. good stuff~
I got a little tripped up on these lines "She glowed in the morning,/ rivaled the sun,/ she looked for someone in the morning/ that would say she's the sun" because of the rhythm, I can't place my finger on just which word felt weird, though!
Thank you all for the support. @hikaymm you comments inspire me to want write more. @greggr Keep supporting and I will become better for it. @timeturnerjones keep giving me this great feedback because it challenges me to look at my pieces in a different perspective.