3 years ago
DJamesBreaux
in English · 6,207 Views
likes 12clips 4comments 6
08:54:51 Time Is The Enemy ~ D James Breaux
Subversive They made their intentions known Intentions that were limitless The minutes not yours (It became) a game of chance Truthfully played But there is no Truthful exchange When time is The Enemy The city in your heart was silenced By their destructive sun No more questions (End) In this new hour you can realise yourself Again Because it's not what was that matters But what is In this new hour you can replace the lost Minutes Repair the broken seconds Make an epic rise Never missing That part Of Yourself You left behind The part that relied on someone else Painting silhouettes of you on the walls Of what they wanted you to be The coloures were all wrong (Begin) Your new station is the now place And it is good And you like it there And you can see yourself From the top of the hill And your heart Your victorious heart declares That love Is not Being powerless Or wishing impossible things Or happiness eroding Or inner strength emptying So you stay in the now place And prosper On Your hill Because You Are power And you can believe again And ascend Ascend to a world of your own Again
REFLECTIONS BY THE AUTHOR: Author Notes 08:54:51 Time Is The Enemy ~ D James Breaux Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life. ~Mandy Hale #YouArePower
www.youtube.com
DJamesBreaux clipped in 1 collections
6 comments
View more comments
Right on brother, thanks man =D
3 years ago·Reply
I just read this outloud because I wasn't sure how i would deal with the spacing that @greggr mentioned and boy, is it fun to read!! @DJamesBreaux I wasn't sure how to read the parts like (end) and (begin) though. It felt like a transmission, being started and stopped. Interesting!
3 years ago·Reply
Haha cool =D ...that's what I want, to take my readers to a strange place, drop them off in the middle of nowhere, and leave them stranded to figure their own way out, whatever turns they might take and whatever destination they might choose. Every word it's own little emotion machine propelling them further along. Sometimes shining a light and bringing them back in the end, sometimes not. And if sometimes I can make them a bit uncomfortable in the process, even better. I want to make my readers say what the hell is going on here and still keep reading, at the scene of the crime, whilst I commit premeditated grammar homicide with complex and distorted literary architecture, rather than thoughtfully designed word art, maybe like a Tim Burton of poetry =D ...but I digress...I think Author Notes at the end of certain pieces can be a fun thing, as long they serve a purpose. Like with Content The Tide, the Author Notes http://allpoetry.com/poem/11694740-Uncontent-the-Tide-by-D-James-Breaux are longer than the poem itself ~ which is already very long. Uncontent is a whole different beast though, sort of like an orchestration on life rather than a poem. And it was a bit of a stretch to expect even the most fertile imagination to interpret 'the brilliant box' for example. The thing runs wild and rampant with figurative language which almost deserves a closer examination. But on the other hand, when you let it all hang out and push the boundaries far beyond the last exit to sanity, it's a vote of confidence for the reader to figure it out for themselves ~ when you give them choices, which is the luxury of art, everyone will interpret differently through their own eyes. So yeh it's so fun you mentioned 'End' and 'Begin' in 08:54:51 Time Is The Enemy, because I actually considered Author Notes here, but didn't want to affect the piece by adding to it ~ which can sometimes have an unwanted diminishing effect if you're not careful, quite the opposite of what you wanted to achieve by adding notes in the first place. So here, I opted for the more risky proposition of putting the reader at the end of the diving board blindfolded without notes. I'm going to guess the 'End' I chose to give meaning to, is not so much different from the 'End' you chose to identify ~ stopping, a fork in the road, change, a turning point. And I would wager the same for 'Begin' ~ renewal, the result of changing circumstances, a new place. So much fun, thanks =D
3 years ago·Reply
10
@DJamesBreaux I agree with your choice not to include notes, but I also would love to see them! Perhaps the occasional reflection by the author card might be appropriate, or linking to an author card....hmm. I'm not sure! There are many ways it could be done. Anyways, great work. And thank you for letting us into your mind a bit to see how this creation came about!
3 years ago·Reply
Right on brother, thanks much =D
3 years ago·Reply
10