pushing the limits.

3 years ago500+ Views

pushing the limits.

I never thought that i'd do this again. 
Im so close but i cant work up the courage.
These thought run deep in my head.
The way that im thinking its making me nervous.
But theres no one to blame but myself.
I've kept this side of me hidden for so long.
Its like a task that i can no longer excel.
I try, I try, I try to be strong.
But i dont know how long i can last only time will tell.

#CreativeWriting

Gilbert09

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greggr

You can be strong; you're stronger just for sharing it. @Gilbert09 I really like the exploration of "can I" and "what can I do more" in this piece, as well as the "I try, I try, I try"

3 years ago·Reply

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Gilbert09

@timeturnerjones yeah i k ow what you mean

3 years ago·Reply

1 0

WordDoctor

I agree, @timeturnerjones - isolating that first sentence makes it much more powerful. I also kind of felt a natural pause in the middle of the fourth line - so something like this: "The way that I'm thinking - it's making me nervous." What do you think?

3 years ago·Reply

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timeturnerjones

I want to take a giant pause after the first sentence for effect: I never though I'd do this again. If you pause there, it builds an emotional feeling that can't be felt otherwise, I think! @Gilbert09