4 years ago5,000+ Views
Your eyes are blue and green Like a refraction in the sea, You see, You are perfect to me. On our drive To the river side We passed a dark red and grey house that Reminded me of the sexy underwear you wore that morning. At the hotel I sprawled across your lap, Face down on the couch While my belly ached. You slid your hands around The sections of my skin And put me to sleep Laying across your knees. Oh god please Can I keep her? Can I sleep here for just ten more minutes? God, just don't wake me too early. You see, I'm aching And she medicates these feelings Like a blanket of serotonin and security. Its a healing feeling both mentally and physically And I need her and her being. Oh god, I need her.
@KaitlynnJanae It's always a good sign when your readers feel the pace you intended!!
thank you thats so kind :) @greggr :)
This is a sweet declaration of the simple ways of love: @KaitlynnJanae I think you are one of the strongest writers here at Vingle at creating love that feels totally real: not forced or idealistic.
that's exactly how it sounded to me in my head as I was writing it :)
This is really cute :) I like the way the lines "Oh god please/Can I keep her?" feel almost like they should be simultaneously whispered and screamed to really show the feeling of the narrator! Cool :) @KatilynnJanae