I'm so glad it helped in some way, @dukes1! It's definitely tricky to balance - you don't want to lose your style and your edge (love poetry can lack that sometimes haha) but with poetry so much is about finessing those things into something beautiful, mysterious, artful, powerful. I'm looking forward to seeing how you experiment with that!
@WordDoctor thanks word doctor I definitely would like to perceive in a more of a way that can tone it down even though I like the saucy I also like the teaching of classy. I'll check out more of what your saying ha.. much appreciated constructive critique..
@timeturnerjones no need to apologize.. I consider it more of a raw version of poetry.. like rhythm and rhyme w out all the pixie dust fairy tale type scribble poems become haha.. call it what you want..
Hi @dukes1! Thank you for sharing your raw poetry with us. It's definitely something different from what I usually see! Haha. I can see you like to draw out the saucier side of life, if you know what I mean. I think you might enjoy seeing how my favorite poet Pablo Neruda wrote racy love poems - it's tough, but the trick to writing about sexy things and especially appreciating body parts is to find images and metaphors to indirectly reference them. It may seem like censorship at first, but I think you'll find it actually makes them more tantalizing, and more descriptive of the actual feelings - which are hard to describe (that's why we so often revert to more direct references). I have a collection called "Daily Neruda." I especially recommend this poem for you: http://www.vingle.net/posts/587310. There's also a link in that card to one about how to write a metaphor - it has been really helpful for me as I practice writing with poetic imagery!