I am unhappy for the first time in a very long time. I am living in a slow motion world. I know why i am unhappy, but i am afraid to admit it to myself. Because if i admit and if i understand that there is nothing to do about that, my unhappiness can continue for some long times. how can I describe unhappiness? I am not able to complete just a single breath. I am feeling that completing that breath will make me more unhappy I am not able to think, I am trying hard. And if I am able to, that makes me more unhappy. I am not able to see her. Even if I see and talk to her, this reminds me the impossibility and makes me more unhappy. I am not able to close my eyes. I am afraid of being alone in darkness with myself. This makes me more unhappy. I am not able to smoke. It tells me my unhappiness. I am not able to walk. Because my feet leads me to the reason of my unhappiness, and this makes me more unhappy. I am not able to escape; from myself.