4 years ago10,000+ Views
So as I squeeze this lime in my drink you act like your shit don't stink I swear this is the last time I walk out the door while you accuse me of being a whore Last time I let the door hit me where the demon down below split me and I wish I had a swing like that in my back yard god bless you make it hard There once was a time I thought and I'd pray that if it was my screen door I'd slam it every day Time has come and time is gone fukn scared it's my time to move on Enjoy your life I tried to make you the one tried to make you my wife thanks it's been fun Drinking my sorrows now I have no more fight your now my kryptonite BOOM BLAST POW!
I forgot to mention that I"m intrigued by the image - what's the story? Where's it from?
I like what you're doing with the spacing - and I think it's great how you used the theme you started in the title to end the poem with a bang. As usual, I can tell you have a natural sense for rhythm. One piece of feedback is that once in a while the spelling and punctuation can be distracting - but you are definitely stepping up your game and I look forward to seeing how your poems get better and better!