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Smartphones and Relationships Part 2: How Not to Fall Victim to Overuse!

Recently I posted on a study about whether your smartphone may possibly be ruining your relationship (http://www.vingle.net/posts/622147). I've thought about the different angles on the issue a lot since then - so I was excited when I turned on the car this morning and found the same topic on the "Forum" show with Michael Krazny. I linked the segment here - it was a great panel with lots of interesting and thought-provoking comments from callers. The guests, as is usually the case on Forum, represented multiple perspectives. Some agreed with the study and talked about the harm mobile devices and technology addiction more generally can have on relationships, while another guest thought the effects were overstated and pointed out the ways technology is beneficial. I'd love to know what you all think about their debate in the comments! Meanwhile, the comments on my previous post together with today's radio segment made me think of several ways we can achieve balance and use our smartphones and other devices in a way that doesn't hurt our relationships. Here are my new ground rules: 1. Don't reach for and look at my phone as soon as I wake up. As one guest pointed out, both neurologically and psychologically it is important to have some moments of solitude, self-awareness and thoughtfulness upon waking. It also represents turning away from your partner to the outside online world instead of waking up and turning to your loved one to connect and say "Good morning!" I am definitely guilty of this, and I'm looking forward to trying out my new rule for a better start to my day. 2. Don't pick up the phone when engaged in conversation, and don't walk into the house while talking on the phone. It's really just not polite to habitually interrupt your interactions with others to pick up the phone or check on an alert of some kind, unless it happens to be an urgent matter. In that case, one panelist suggested politely letting the other person know that you are waiting for an important call and may need to take it. As for walking into the house, how about instead walking in, saying hello to your family, having hugs, connecting, and talking about your day. 3. Don't browse my phone while hanging out with my loved ones or while having a conversation. We are definitely guilty or this, and although it really bugs me when my loved ones do it - I know that I do it, too. I really want people to look me in the eyes when we're having a conversation - otherwise I don't feel like they are paying attention and either I get frustrated or I lose interest. Be engaged, be in the moment, connect person to person. 4. Don't get on mobile devices in bed before going to sleep. If each person is buried in their own devices, turned away out into the online world, it prevents any kind of conversation or intimacy during one of the few times when we slow down enough to connect deeply. Furthermore, research shows that the light from devices as well as the stimulation negatively affects your sleep patterns and your ability to fall asleep in the first place. What other ground rules do you think would help balance smartphone and device use so there doesn't need to be a conflict with relationships? @hetmeisje and @TechAtHeart I'd especially love to know what you think!
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I liked the topic
great tips, definitely got to work on some tips mentioned here.
That's a great one, @TechAtHeart! Actually one of the callers brought that up, I think - that it's important to just be able to say - "Let's hang up and talk about this in person."
Me too, @Rocio13! I'm just aiming for greater awareness... I know I'll have to keep fighting my own impulses. I've even trying turning off some of the notifications. It's amazing how we jump at each little bleep.
These are good tips! I guess I would also add try not to have serious convos with the person on the phone. I have several friends who have argued or tried to settle an argument over texting. I personally feel it's better to meet in person....or if anything, at least make it a phone call if that's not possible.
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LGBT Pride Playlist
In light of the tragedy in Orlando, I want to make sure that everyone in this community regardless of your sexual orientation, your religious beliefs, or your political opinions, knows that you're loved. Everyone deserves to love and be loved, to live their lives how they wish, and to feel safe being themselves. Here are a few songs of encouragement, and I hope that anyone affected (which, really, should be all Americans) find peace. Amber - Borders Stand up, fall down, up again Up against the pressure I am in Slowly but surely I begin Jumping trains โ€˜cause I know I can win I know thereโ€™s a plan So thick the fog but I know I can trust The feelings that I feel when the roads rough Park Jungmin - Not Alone I can believe Iโ€™m not alone Not alone now, not sad anymore and I can feel it Iโ€™m not alone Definitely not alone, never be exhausted again Song Jieun - Don't Look At Me Like That Donโ€™t look at me like that Weโ€™re just in love, thatโ€™s all Donโ€™t hate on us, however youโ€™re viewing us Weโ€™re just a little different Just leave us alone Canโ€™t we live in a world where time stands still? Why? Why not? We did nothing wrong Why? Why not? Weโ€™re so in love Ailee - Heaven You taught me love in this harsh world I am happy with you alone Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven If we're together we will never cry never never cry Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Forever, together never gonna be alone BTS - Save Me Listen to my heartbeat It calls you whenever it wants to Because within this pitch black darkness You are shining so brightly Go spread love today, and every day.
[#5] 10์›”์— ์—ฐ์ธ๊ณผ ๊ฐ€๊ธฐ ์ข‹์€ ์ž˜์ƒ๊ธด ์ด์ƒ‰ ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ ์ฝ”์Šค 5๊ณณ
์˜ํ™”-๋ฐฅ-์นดํŽ˜ ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ๊ฐ€ ์ง€๊ฒน๋‹ค๊ณ ? ๋ฉ€๋ฆฌ ๊ฐˆ ์‹œ๊ฐ„๋„, ์—ฌ์œ ๋„ ์—†๋‹ค๊ณ ? ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค๋ฉด ์—ฌ๊ธฐ๋Š” ์–ด๋–จ๊นŒ์š”? ๋ฉ€๋ฆฌ ๊ฐˆ ํ•„์š” ์—†๋Š” ์„œ์šธ์˜ ์ด์ƒ‰ ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ ์žฅ์†Œ 5๊ณณ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค! 1. ๋•์ˆ˜๊ถ ๋Œ๋‹ด๊ธธ ๊ทธ๋™์•ˆ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ๋˜ ๋•์ˆ˜๊ถ ๋Œ๋‹ด๊ธธ์ด ์—ด๋ ธ๋‹ค! ๊ณ ๊ถ์˜ ์•„๋ฆ„๋‹ค์›€์„ ๋Š๋ผ๋ฉฐ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ฆ๊ธธ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๊นŒ์ง€~ ์„ ์„ ํ•œ ๊ฐ€์„ ๋‚ ์”จ์— ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ ์ฝ”์Šค๋กœ ๋”ฑ์ด๊ฒ ์ฃ ? 2. ๋ฌธํ™”๋น„์ถ•๊ธฐ์ง€ ํฌ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด๋ ค ์ถ•๊ตฌ์žฅ 22๊ฐœ๋ผ๋Š” ๋ฌธํ™”๋น„์ถ•๊ธฐ์ง€. ์›…์žฅํ•œ ํฌ๊ธฐ์™€ ์ˆ˜๋งŽ์€ ๋ณผ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ, ๋†€๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๋“ค๋กœ ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์ˆœ์‚ญ๋ ๋“ฏ! 3. ๊ฒฝ์ถ˜์„  ๊ณต์› ์ฒ ๊ธธ๋งŒํผ ๋กœ๋งจํ‹ฑํ•œ ์‚ฐ์ฑ…๊ธธ๋„ ์—†์ฃ ? ๋ฉ€๋ฆฌ ๊ฐˆ ํ•„์š”๋„ ์—†์ด ๊ฒฝ์ถ˜์„  ๊ณต์›์— ๊ฐ€๋ฉด ์ฒ ๊ธธ๋”ฐ๋ผ ์‚ฐ์ฑ…๋„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ธ์ƒ์‚ฌ์ง„๋„ ๊ฑด์ ธ๋ณด์„ธ์š”!! 4. ๋‹ค์‹œ-์„ธ์šด ๊ณต๋Œ์ด, ๊ณต์ˆœ์ด ์ปคํ”Œ, ํ”ผ๊ทœ์–ด ๋•ํ›„ ๋ชจ๋‘๋ชจ๋‘ ๋ชจ์—ฌ๋ผ!! ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ ์ „์‹œ์™€ ๋ณผ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๋“ค์€ ๋ฌผ๋ก  ์„œ์šธ์˜ ์ „๊ฒฝ์„ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” 9์ธต ์ „๋ง๋Œ€๋„ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‹ค์‹œ-์„ธ์šด์œผ๋กœ ๋ชจ์—ฌ๋ผ!!! 5. ํ•œ๊ฐ•ํ•จ์ƒ๊ณต์›/์—ฌ์˜๋„ ์ง€ํ•˜๋น„๋ฐ€๋ฒ™์ปค ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ „์Ÿ ์˜ํ™”, ์ŠคํŒŒ์ด ์˜ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ฐฉ๋ถˆ์ผ€ํ•˜๋Š” ํ•ด๊ตฐ ํ•จ์ •๊ณผ ์ง€ํ•˜๋น„๋ฐ€๋ฒ™์ปค. ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ด๊ณณ์„ ์ด์šฉํ•ด์„œ ์ „์‹œ๊ด€๊ณผ ๊ฐค๋Ÿฌ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ ๋‹ค?ใ…Žใ„ทใ„ท ์กฐ๋งŒ๊ฐ„ ๊ฐœ์žฅ๋  ์˜ˆ์ •์ด๋‹ˆ, ๊ผญ ๊ฐ€์„œ ์˜ํ™”์— ๋‚˜์˜ค๋Š” ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์„ ๋Š๊ปด๋ณด์„ธ์š”!!!
Women Are Clingy, Men Are Romantic
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