3 years ago
WordDoctor
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Holiday Tips for a Lasting, Joyful Marriage: 6-10
It's time for more tips for Making Your Marriage Last, With Joy! Since Christmas is about to stop lurking and fully arrive, I thought we could all use some tips for getting through the holiday chaos without damaging our relationship. 6. Be patient, friendly, or at worst neutral while interacting with each others' families and friends. Part of the pressure of the holidays is having to put on your best face for a more concentrated group of people than you're used to. I totally understand the potential for getting frustrated or overtired. Quarters might be tight, you're probably not wearing your most comfortable clothes and you may have had to rush to prepare to impress. But hey! Don't worry! It's only for a short time - then things will go back to their comfortable, normal state. At least they will be if you don't freak out on your partner's loved ones. You can do almost anything for a short period of time, and that definitely includes letting frustrations roll off your back, ignore snide comments and putting on a friendly smile. Remember, they'll all probably feeling just as pressured and stressed as you are! 7. Give presents not just based on expense, but more importantly - with feeling. You should know your spouse or partner by now. Really think about what they're like, what they love, or what is missing from their lives that could make them happier or more content. Some of these might be material, but it also might be something intangible. My husband knows how much I love the act of unwrapping (maybe more than the actual value of the thing I unwrap), so he tries to get me a few smaller things instead of one bigger one, just so I can have my kid-like fun :) I know that he covets my favorite pillow - so I'll get him one just like it and gift him a better night's sleep. 8. Give yourselves a gift that you decide on and can enjoy together. I'm planning to get a board game he really enjoys and we've been wanting to play together for a while. You could also plan a weekend getaway, a couples' massage, or a new mattress that doesn't give you a backache. Whatever best suits your taste! 9. Do something active together to offset the yucky post-holiday-eating feeling. Nothing feels quite as un-sexy as that feeling after eating too many holiday treats. Thanksgiving is best known for this, but Christmas can end up that way, too. Plan to go on a hike, ice skating, snowshoeing, snowboarding, or even a long walk or one-on-one basketball. It will get your blood pumping and make you feel better - maybe even well enough for other holiday fun... 10. Be grateful. The holidays come with a lot of expectations. How you want each other to behave (see #6), what you wanted to receive (see #7), how excited you wanted them to be about Christmas, etc. etc. But instead of focusing on the many small possible ways they could let you down, how about focusing on what they've done to help you or make you happy - and expressing your gratitude for it? We tend to write thank you notes to send to others, but not necessarily to those closest to us. Be grateful for what they give you, how they contribute to your relationship or your family, heck - even just their presence. Some couples don't get to be together during the holidays. Even if they're not present, but they make an effort to communicate - thank them for that! If they aren't there and are unable to communicate - thank them for sacrificing to provide for your family, serve the community or even our country. Focus on enjoying the holiday and making it a time to express love. Those other issues can be a discussion for later. Really, a move away from negativity is a gift to yourself! Here's to enjoying the holiday joyfully! Tips 1-5: http://www.vingle.net/posts/636426 Tips 11-15: http://www.vingle.net/posts/650978
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