WordDoctor
3 years ago10,000+ Views
Kids Have Love Languages, Too!
I previously posted about the theory of getting to know our romantic partner's "love language" (http://www.vingle.net/posts/644689), but I had never considered that our children might also have their own love language. I had no idea until I read the attached article from Freebie Finding Mom, but Gary Chapman wrote another book called "The 5 Love Languages of Children." Now that I think about, it would be fairly natural to extend the principle applied to understanding a partner in marriage to understanding the needs of children. Kelli, the author of the article, wrote some great summaries of how to apply the 5 Love Languages to children: "Gifts If your child’s love language is gifts he or she will feel most loved when receiving personal, thoughtful gifts. It can be really easy to think that every child’s love language is gifts because children ask for so many things (candy, toys, etc.). However, children with this love language will be very touched by gifts especially thoughtful things that come out of the blue. In addition, if your child’s love language is gifts he or she will probably frequently give you things. It’s important to express gratitude and pleasure at receiving these gifts so your child will feel loved." "Physical Touch If your child’s love language is physical touch he or she will feel most loved when in contact with you such as hugs, kisses, cuddling, or perhaps even wrestling. While many young children seek out physical contact with mom and dad, the child that speaks the love language of physical touch will light up when hugged, tossed in the air, spun around, patted on the back, etc. As your child gets older he or she may act uncomfortable with physical touch because mom and dad are SO uncool; however, little things like a touch on the arm, pat on the back, or brief hug will still mean a lot." "Quality Time If your child’s love language is quality time he or she will feel most loved when receiving your focused, undivided attention. As a busy parent, especially the parent of multiple children, this can be a hard language to speak; however, there really is no substitute for quality time when a child speaks this love language. Keep in mind that quality time doesn’t necessarily mean a weekend trip with just you and your child; rather, it can be as simple as taking your child out for ice cream or sitting with them for an hour listening to them talk about what’s important to them." "Service
 If your child’s love language is service he or she will feel most loved when you do some service for him or her. For example, doing his or her laundry or fixing a favorite toy. The “service” or task doesn’t have to be anything huge; any sacrifice of your time to the child that speaks the love language of service will translate as being loved. Keep in mind that children make a lot of requests; just because your child’s love language is service doesn’t mean you have to honor every request or risk your child feeling unloved…you merely need to be sensitive to requests and remember what your child’s love language is." "Words of Affirmation
 If your child’s love language is words of affirmation he or she will feel most loved when hearing endearments, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Basically, if your child’s love language is words of affirmation you need to tell not show. Words speak volumes. If this is your child’s love language it is essential to keep in mind that your child will be very sensitive to verbal criticisms. When criticizing the child with this love language you should try to emphasize any positives." Although I can see how it is important to figure out what your child's particular love language is, I also think this guide is useful for doing some of each of these five methods to make my child feel special. There's more in the article, which is linked. Can you tell right away what your child's love language is? I'm still mulling it over...
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