3 years ago10,000+ Views
standing over the yellow leaves of the autumn fall  here I wait..  waiting for the slightest glance of my girl, behind these walls  the walls so hardened..the walls so cruel..  it blinds me, my smiling angel..seizes her away, under its rule..  its a hard cold evening..even the clock mocks my wait..  the hours drag on endlessly..seems this lonely lover istime's bait..  the wait is too hard..even the heavens cry..  well..the rains can't dampen my spirits..have given my luck a try..  the breezes whisper me her presence..I move across the gate..  just a touch of this steely ice, makes me warm..  her touch on this soul-less stone..makes me believe in my fate..  the night is dark..the air is quiet..  in these wet streets, not a soul in sight..  but then..  breaking through the heart of darkness, a light turns bright.. a blessed warmth sweeps through my cold skin..  "there she is", "there she is"..  I find, even the night celebrate my sly grin..  sitting beside the reflecting device, my beauty enhances her luster..  standing at the doorway,a dumbstruck me,gets frozen at her posture..  Did she sense my gazing eyes?  She looks out through the window..  A shadow melted amongst shadows, she couldn't feel my heart..  I smiled a little..grabbed my coat..  I walked down the road..promising her to be back here tomorrow..  © Debanka Chanda
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It's funny, I like this just fine, but I definitely like the more recent pieces you've wrote just a little more. :) Something about how they move me down the page more, where as the tempo of this poem has me kind of plodding along. Either way, nice work
3 years ago·Reply
Nice to see another older piece from you @DebankaChanda! Looking forward to more.
3 years ago·Reply
@greggr I find my old pieces embarrassingly bad!
3 years ago·Reply
@DebankaChanda Don't be embarrassed! I'm pretty sure @greggr will agree that they simply show your progression into becoming the writer you want to be. We're always growing and changing in our writing styles, you know.
3 years ago·Reply
@DebankaChanda Exactly as @hikaymm said! Don't be embarrassed. We all have pieces we cower from, but others love.
3 years ago·Reply