I'm an INFJ personality aka probably the most frustrating kind of friend, girlfriend, sister, in the world. I may seem like an extrovert in my daily actions but there is WAY too much happening behind the scenes for anyone to really grasp what I'm thinking. And the worst part is, I expect you to know what I'm thinking. Unreasonable, I know, but so it goes.
So, how do you date someone as fabulous as I am without losing your mind? Here are some tips (because what DOESN'T the internet have tips on these days?!)
1. When we see you after a long day, we might be all irritable and not want to talk
It has nothing to do with you. After a long day of dealing with people, our batteries are drained and we need to seriously unwind, usually alone. Be the champ that accepts that, or finds some small way to edge us out of this lifestyle and find a way to recharge us without having us bite your head off.
2. We’re charming creatures and can be the life of the party, but...
You’ll be surprised how much we actually live in our heads. People often confuse us for extroverts, but we're way too insane in the membrane to be one. We're the kings and queens of over thinking.
3. If we like you, we really like you.
We don’t waste our time with people we’re not completely crazy about. Seriously, it may seem like a bitch-move but I legitimately do not waste any of my energy on someone who annoys me even the slightest bit. If we agreed to go on a date with you, we like you. Take it as a huge compliment.
4. We have times when we’re weird with our phones.
Some days we can talk for hours, but sometimes we’re not so good at replying. Don’t take it personally - we screen our phone calls, even from our closest friends. We're probably thinking about something a billion miles from what you're wanting to talk about and our minds just don't change direction easily.
5. But don’t worry, in person we’ll listen to you for hours.
We have levels of introversion, so we’re good listeners. We’ll always be naturally in tune with how you’re feeling, so we’ll be able to see through any front you put up and make you spill the deets.
6. We need to dip our foot in the pool first.
We need time to warm up, so, like, chill. We tend not to outwardly express our feelings in the first hour of meeting you. Or the first year.
7. Our energy level depends on our environment.
Yes, we can get annoyed easily. If we vibe with the crowd, we can get our energy from others. But if we don’t, we’ll start to curl up in our heads, and tend to withdraw into ourselves. We’re very selectively social.
8. We kinda hate the typical first date.
Maybe it’s because we hate small talk or something. Be willing to go somewhere authentic where we won’t have to awkwardly sit across from each other asking the typical "get to know you" questions.
9. You'll think we are flirty with everyone.
Okay here's the thing, when we inevitably have to interact with people, we make it seem like there’s nothing in the world we'd rather be doing. Maybe because we're overly sensitive, so we go out of our way to make other people feel comfortable and happy. We're intuitive and outgoing at the same time.
10. We can see through bullshit
So don't try to hide things from us. We’re kinda like a human lie detector. But for real, we often have a keen eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around us. Be real.
So basically you're screwed. In a good way.