4 years ago1,000+ Views
"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now." Conveying my emotions into writing i wonder if you see them. I continuously count the days we have spent, not a single word, dormant, were the exchanging of words. The life sucked out of me as I exhale the smoke that before had comforted me, no more was it easy to lose breath. I hold so vigorously to the memories of how it used to be, a time where i hadn't felt less prudent! All i think about, all i can imagine is in your hands, now i'm stuck in a place where the pieces seem harder and harder to pick up! I can't help but imagine, you in my arms as you have been before, it plays continuously in my head. The dreams that have so much significance, it's importance resonates throughout each and every single line I word together. A thought so radiant, it gives me hope, but i know that it is false hope that lingers in the back of my head. I can't! I can't! "Goodnight big moon, sweet dreams maybe, if i could have one wish tonight, it would be that, you'll always keep, keep the starlight in your eyes." Send me off, cast me away, to the dreams that are so vivid, so real, i want to undergo each and every second spent in paradise. I spend so much time on you that i began to question the significance of life at it's peak, because without you, i see no more. The most potent kiss lingers, the day you rushed back to me, the day YOU swung me around and planted your lips, for all one is worth, against mine. I see nothing but you, i hear only you, i wait for you, to notice how sorry i am, to notice how much pain i am in. All worth it. I spend my days going through such terrible feelings that i became numb, no longer do tears fall from my eyes, though the pain exists. I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY BECAUSE YOU MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART I GET LOST IN IT MYSELF. Imagine the pain, how sorry i am, how lonely i get, how depression eats me up like termites to wood. I wither with each and every day, slowly dispersing, my heart here, my mind there, as i pick up the pieces i scatter. I am distraught, I am no more than what i used to be as the time passes me by. "Never felt comfort in my skin, never thought my words would sprout limbs, never thought to, but in due time, i was due time, running through minds i was now in." Comfort was found in your presence, comfort was found in your embrace, i never thought i would take a step back, not noticing how much distance i have made. I couldn't pace it, i was excited, thinking that i had made the greatest achievement in recorded times, i never thought i was to lose more than i had gained. I had no question nor did i have the thought process in which would differ between a name and presence. It was more than just how i felt or what i saw, it's how i connected, it's how i heard. No more can i see what the future holds, that broke as you stepped away from me in hopes that i would suddenly forget. Amnesia plaguing the brain as i grow with age, nostalgia haunts me as i speak of forgetting. No! How do I show you, how do i get through the pain that has drained me to the last effort i do have left. The value of life has sunk deep down into nothing more than smoke. Inhale, exhale, know that i have nothing but a feeling that is now subsiding into dead thoughts that i never would have imagined losing. I dream every night, just as you do, memories wanting to stay, that i hold onto with all the strength i can muster up. Pain is such a gross thing. I sleep, like the rest, but i don't do it on a daily basis because, i harm myself more than i should be. I can't seem to sleep, maybe one last time will i close my eyes, dream one last single time, turning day dream into reality. Sweet dreams angel. HJFS SVRT
I'd like to echo part of this: if I had one dream for you later tonight, it'd be that you, too, can keep the starlight and the brightness in your eyes, too. Nice phrasing on that bit
I read in a book recently that the amount of emotional pain we feel at losing someone, either emotionally or from this world, equates to the love that was felt between them. It doesn't mean that that love will return, but it does mean that our emotional pain means something, and I hope you can find a little bit of comfort in that.