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Totally Useless Love Interests

Princess Buttercup

Your "true love" is a pirate/ninja/male model who literally beat down giants, psycho killers, and a royal army to save you from a shitty marriage. What did you do? Surrender to the king and send your love to the Pit of Despair, fall into Lightning Sand, stand around and scream while your love fights giant rats, and then rode off into the night with him and his friends (who were all bleeding profusely from sword wounds) Way to go Princess.

Prince Eric

So this prince is shy, I get it, but are you seriously going to marry some chick cause she sings like a girl you think rescued you from drowning? Also, you were drowning and had to be save in the first place. You had every opportunity to 'kiss the girl' but it took your girlfriend turning into an octopus woman for you to actually do it. Redeeming qualities: He's got a cute dog.

Cho Chang

I really don't know what Harry saw in her, but then again who understands 15 year old boys? She was sweet and sort of kicked ass as a witch but her heart belonged to Cedric, the now-dead but totally dreamy vampire - err I mean wizard. All she did was break Harry's heart.


Let me break it down: He was obsessed with Rosaline (like unhealthily obsessed) but then the second he saw Juliet he changed his mind and decided (that night!!!!) that he would marry her aka get poison from a priest, killed his lover's cousin, arranged a death, screwed it up, and then they both died. Did he do anything right?
Yep Prince Eric. BUTTERCUP though she KILLS me how useless she is. least don't make the problems WORSE!!
Prince Eric was the most basic guy in the entire world. I don't know what Ariel saw in him!
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