2 years ago
onesmile
in English · 27,405 Views
likes 6clips 2comments 5
Anxiety and the Kiss
We all get that totally nervous feeling while we're waiting for someone to get the guts to make the move, lean in, and kiss! Our palms get sweaty, we fidget a lot, we can't actually focus on what we're looking at, and all that's on our mind is "when, when, when, when, when!" will it happen.
player.vimeo.com1DAA50E1-0355-420D-A1AD-2C244287F3DCCreated with sketchtool.
Look, it's totally normal. We get nervous, and so do they, and then nobody is really sure how to read every little movement that the other person does. Was he trying to get me to look at him? Was she telling me "no way!!" Ugh! It's so frustrating. And this video totally, completely brings that feeling to life once again!
How do you know when someone is trying to say "HEY! Let's kiss?!"
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5 comments
WoahhhhI totally feel this! I love how this is like slightly awkward but also totally realistic to what it's really like haha
Why do people enjoy torturing themselves? Making out, having sex, and the like should be treated like any other activity between people. Before you engage in it, you ask the other person for permission. It's a simple enough maxim to follow. If actually asking for it is viewed as less romantic in being less spontaneous, that's a bullet well worth biting.
@Carnis I mean, I don't think this is totally about a first kiss (when i totally agree that makes it so much more relaxed, and better for everyone if you just ask!) But it's really just showcasing the kind of fun tenseness that can exist between two people whoa re interested in each other, you know?
@Carnis Isn't it up to each person to decide how to consider these situations? Aren't there some situations between you and others that you treat differently from others? Of course every situation isn't the same.
@onesmile Securing permission is the clearest way of knowing that would-be kissing is acceptable, especially if first-time kissing, for both parties involved. If telepathy were a viable alternative, then the verbal asking for permission would be rendered unnecessary. I am making a normative claim that this is how people should approach the issue. I think that if people generally asked for permission for the participation in these social activities, there would be more positive experiences than otherwise. You seem to think that it doesn't matter what you and your would-be kissing partner independently think about how kissing should happen, were it to happen. But this creates obvious problems if there is a conflict in what each person thinks as the best approach to first-time kissing. If person A believes in spontaneity for the first kiss and person B, who became convinced of the force of my teachings, believes in permissibility, then a negative experience for both A and B could easily be envisioned were A to act on her spontaneity. By contrast, if B asked for permission, the resulting experience would unlikely be as negative, if negative at all, for A and B.